Nervousness, anxiety, et cetera.

[zanejohnson]

Problem #1: Your idea of not worrying is foolish. If that was the case, all engineers should throw caution into a dumpster... assuming that dumpsters factory of safety for the idea is enough to hold that, but it probably isn't because those engineers who built the dumpster threw their worries away too.



Run for presidency, let me know how it goes after you've wasted all your money and time. Don't worry about losing, just keep trying. Be sure to give up your day job and all funds because it will surely work. There is no reason to think about failing because that is totally irrelevant.


Btw, guys, have you read The Secret? I think you will like it very much.

lol no.. it's more like, the engineers do worry, but they know exactly what this bridge needs to do what it is built to do...so they build the bridge accordingly. i think then worry becomes something else.. it becomes confidence, the engineers then have confidence the bridge will survive. however it's not written in stone it will, under some crazy circumstances the bridge may fail... but the probability goes way down, then say.. if the bridge was made of some shoddy thrown together twigs..

now substitute success in life/social situations/anything for this bridge, and the engineers for your psyche.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

lol no.. it's more like, the engineers do worry, but they know exactly what this bridge needs to do what it is built to do...so they build the bridge accordingly.

now substitute success in life/social situations/anything for this bridge, and the engineers to your psyche.

so tridenT needs to shore up his undercarriage with some I beams....

 

[Wanescotting]

If only Trident worried about the content of posts...

 

[TridenT]

If only Trident worried about the content of posts...

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a forum where they will not be judged by the catchiness of their headline but by the content of their posts...

 

[Dulanic]

I used to get very nervous at work dealing with higher up people. I still do to an extent but I have gotten MUCH better. The reason for my nervousness? Well most of my work/reports all go directly to about 10+ people who any one of them could fire my ass.

Of course, this gets me to double check, and triple check all of my work.

 

[TridenT]

I used to get very nervous at work dealing with higher up people. I still do to an extent but I have gotten MUCH better. The reason for my nervousness? Well most of my work/reports all go directly to about 10+ people who any one of them could fire my ass.

Of course, this gets me to double check, and triple check all of my work.

You're just a pussy that needs some CONFIDENCE, at least, according to the people ITT.

I notice when I am nervous, but I really can't do anything about it. I notice it and say, "Yep. Definitely showing the signs of nervousness. I can't do shit about it. Curse this broken machine!"

 

[zanejohnson]

You're just a pussy that needs some CONFIDENCE, at least, according to the people ITT.

I notice when I am nervous, but I really can't do anything about it. I notice it and say, "Yep. Definitely showing the signs of nervousness. I can't do shit about it. Curse this broken machine!"

well your subconscious is like the OS, your brain/body the hardware, and your conscious is the program it's running... we call it "life" in this existence...

so upgrade the OS, beef up the hardware if need be (God did a pretty good job of giving us good hardware to run this shit with, and even better that we can upgrade somewhat easily{(i know exercise sucks i dont care who ya are)}

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

I'm coming up to my 2 year mark of no sex rather quickly.... My anxiety has been overwhelming, to say the least... Lashed out at a few people because of it, unintentionally....

 

[Dr. Zaus]

I'm coming up to my 2 year mark of no sex rather quickly.... My anxiety has been overwhelming, to say the least... Lashed out at a few people because of it, unintentionally....

Having a life long committed relationship where in both of you decide not to have sex until you are committed for life will make that sexual relationship something intrinsically tied to the relationship thus greatly mitigating the post marital sexual let down. This would further allow you to have someone (and if you are lucky little someones) to pour all of the love in your heart into, something that is magnified and reflected back, and allow you to have as needed the sexual release that males are hard wired to crave.

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

Having a life long committed relationship where in both of you decide not to have sex until you are committed for life will make that sexual relationship something intrinsically tied to the relationship thus greatly mitigating the post marital sexual let down. This would further allow you to have someone (and if you are lucky little someones) to pour all of the love in your heart into, something that is magnified and reflected back, and allow you to have as needed the sexual release that males are hard wired to crave.

I was in a relationship for 8 years, bomb sex on a semi-regular. Then nothing. Not being in a position to date, I just turned all of my attention to school and seeking career in the profession.
Didn't realize it was coming up so soon, but finally went on date for first time, last month, although it's seems to have gone downhill from there. My anxiety having a heavy influence over most of my actions didn't help at all.
Then realized my ex got married & we've been apart for less than 2 years... Took me 5 years to realize I would have married her... That only added to the issue. Meh.
I'd pick up a hooker, just to not see the 2 year mark at this point.

 

[zanejohnson]

I was in a relationship for 8 years, bomb sex on a semi-regular. Then nothing. Not being in a position to date, I just turned all of my attention to school and seeking career in the profession.
Didn't realize it was coming up so soon, but finally went on date for first time, last month, although it's seems to have gone downhill from there. My anxiety having a heavy influence over most of my actions didn't help at all.
Then realized my ex got married & we've been apart for less than 2 years... Took me 5 years to realize I would have married her... That only added to the issue. Meh.
I'd pick up a hooker, just to not see the 2 year mark at this point.

shit do it, i dont see a prob with it... sex is great, even better with hookers, shit throw some blow in the mix... we need to have a good time in life, too much of a good thing is harmful, but shit, ya gotta have SOME fun...

 

[the DRIZZLE]

The best trick I learned for dealing with anxiety was to convince yourself that you aren't nervous, but in fact excited. They physical manifestations of the two emotions are really similar, so when your pulse starts racing and you feel that tingling you just think about how excited you are instead of how nervous you are.

This is more oriented toward things like job interviews and public speaking than talking to women.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

I was in a relationship for 8 years, bomb sex on a semi-regular. Then nothing. Not being in a position to date, I just turned all of my attention to school and seeking career in the profession.
Didn't realize it was coming up so soon, but finally went on date for first time, last month, although it's seems to have gone downhill from there. My anxiety having a heavy influence over most of my actions didn't help at all.
Then realized my ex got married & we've been apart for less than 2 years... Took me 5 years to realize I would have married her... That only added to the issue. Meh.
I'd pick up a hooker, just to not see the 2 year mark at this point.

hands and felsh-lights offer physical release; hookers are valuable because they have feelings and people want other people for emotional connection.

You should reorient your life to focus on what's important in it: family and people to love. I would rather be entirely uneducated and a janitor with a wife and kids, than be a well placed Ph.D. that has no one to love.

Think long term.

 

[SaDiZTiKStyLeZ]

Think long term.

That's all I've been doing which is why I hadn't bothered dating until recently.
Obtain steady employment > move out > go back to school
Was waiting to move out before dating again, has taken much longer than planned.

I have a date after my interview today. She will be getting a roofies cocktail. :hmm:

 

[Dr. Zaus]

That's all I've been doing which is why I hadn't bothered dating until recently.
Obtain steady employment > move out > go back to school
Was waiting to move out before dating again, has taken much longer than planned.

I feel you. I got out of under-grad and my parents house at 26 with no woman for 6 years. My brothers came first, then education, then my social well being. Now I've got a wife and 2 & 1/2 kids and am doing a Ph.D.; I'm coming up on 30 and i'm the happiest I've ever been.

But it took reorienting my life toward actively finding someone I could respect and share a future with, which almost got me kicked from my MBA program my first year; but it would have been well worth it for the love I have today.

I'm glad I kept my sexual activity limited to times when I wanted to spend my life with someone and said someone wanted to spend a life time with me; I can imagine how emotionally devastating it would have been to have gone after someone I had to pay to be with me 2 years in... and I've got the feeling I wouldn't be with my amazing wife today if I paid to have sex with someone within the year before I met her. Even if I where I would be bringing in some heavy emotional baggage.

I have a date after my interview today. She will be getting a roofies cocktail.

Like I said, life long commitment... you're going to want a dungeon to tie her up in... it wont' take to long to break her will and make her your willing sex slave; people crack quickly when they don't see day light for a few days.

 

[edro]

ass pennies

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Run for presidency, let me know how it goes after you've wasted all your money and time. Don't worry about losing, just keep trying. Be sure to give up your day job and all funds because it will surely work. There is no reason to think about failing because that is totally irrelevant.

Stop with the strawman. If you want a real life example I'll give you one...

I quit my $100k job in Alaska to move to Maui for no other reason than 'I wanted to'. I had nothing lined up here. I didn't know anybody. No job. I didn't even have a place to live when I landed. And it wasn't easy at first but I've managed to carve out a nice life for myself here.

Now quit yer bitchin' and get out there!

 

[BeauJangles]

Stop with the strawman. If you want a real life example I'll give you one...

I quit my $100k job in Alaska to move to Maui for no other reason than 'I wanted to'. I had nothing lined up here. I didn't know anybody. No job. I didn't even have a place to live when I landed. And it wasn't easy at first but I've managed to carve out a nice life for myself here.

Now quit yer bitchin' and get out there!

I'd be interested in hearing more about your story, if you'd care to share. Moving to a new place to start over is something a lot of people dream of, but don't have the balls to do.

Problem #1: "worrying" about screwing up before your even start is silly. Worrying creates doubt, which in turn erodes confidence. Think of what will go "right".

Best advice you're ever going to read on this entire forum. Serious.

 

[olds]

Nervousness and anxiety are perfectly normal emotions. Since my emotions come from me, I am in-charge of them. I don't let them dominate me. If they cause me to act differently than I should, I tell myself to grow the fuck up and be a man. Then I work through it by ignoring them and doing what I know needs to be done.

 

[polarmystery]

 

[OverVolt]

Trident you suffer from manchild-ness and it plagues our generation. Parents who are baby boomers really aren't to be trusted in my opinion. They hold positions of power over us because back when they were growing up they were anti-establishment and "never trust anyone over 30" was their motto. Unemployment is worse and worse the younger you are. Many kids get jobs through connections with their parents, etc, not all of course, but some do get easy connections.

None of that really matters though. It actually sort of helps. There are so many helpless job seekers out there who can't really make decisions that they are ACCOUNTABLE for and crumble under the required confidence because they are manchildren. Just have confidence in your own judgement. Is the interviewer full of crap? They just might be testing to see if you have any common sense at all.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Nervousness and anxiety is what I get when I reboot a server remotely and I can't see the console. The intensity increases exponentially based on the number of minutes it's been with no ping response.

 

[OverVolt]

I actually write small notes to myself when I make a decision sometimes to help keep me on track. Just write "The best odds of success are if I go forward with confidence" down somewhere, because it really is THAT simple. I do it frequently whenever I have doubts and then I'm like "Ahh right I was being stupid lets get this shit done"

Most people with actual skills aren't super confident all the time, it goes up and down and if it falls it's ok just keep your head high. People who are confident 100% of the time are assholes/douchebags usually with no skills.

 

[Kirby]

it's because you're a sissy

 

[OverVolt]

The best trick I learned for dealing with anxiety was to convince yourself that you aren't nervous, but in fact excited. They physical manifestations of the two emotions are really similar, so when your pulse starts racing and you feel that tingling you just think about how excited you are instead of how nervous you are.

This is more oriented toward things like job interviews and public speaking than talking to women.

Yes this. Anxiety is actually pretty awesome. You can quickly turn all that worry into excitement and it rocks. It's great because anything outside your comfort zone turns into a rush of excitement once you conquer it.

Hope your paying attention Trident Good shit ahead.