neighborhood bully. :( messing with my 6 yr old. urrrr.

[LeeTJ]

damn this kid is really starting to get on my nerves. he is messing with my kid. anyway we were talking to some of the other parents on the block and we were told some stories about this kid. he takes swimming lessons with some of the other kids and this one neighborhood girl is the fastest swimmer so when they race this bully will grab her head and push her under in an attempt to beat her.

He messed with my kid a bit, i handled it but it still annoys me. problem is his parents have NO control over him. if i weren't moving out of this neighborhood in a month i'd go to his mother and tell her if she can't handle her kid i'm going to report them to Childhood Services.

This kid and his 4 yr old brother have been wandering the block UNSUPERVISED for about a year now. Neighbors have seen this kids PEEING in the streets.

I'm serious, this kind of stuff REALLY REALLY pisses me off. What chance does this kid have of growing up to be a decent human being?

 

[Tab]

Kick his @ss, or get your son/daughter some kung foo or weight lifting.

 

[Scarpozzi]

Splash silver nitrate all over his face and the problem will be solved....

 

[roncarter]

hes just a kid.... if the parents wont do anything about it.. scare the living crap out of him.. that will solve everything

 

[LeeTJ]

Like i said, i resolved the issue. but day in day out you never know what kids can get into. i hate seeing kids like that because you can see what their gonna be when they grow up.

His parents are NOTORIOUS for never being there. None of the other parents hardly ever see this people. even swimming lessons, he's the first kid dropped off, last kid picked up.

you can see that he envy's friends with involved parents.

i feel for the kid, but it's not my responsibility to raise him, but i can dislike his parents for not doing their job.

BTW, this is the same kid i posted about earlier that kept coming to our house and spending the whole day there w/o a peep or call from his parents. so i asked his mother, if your gonna send your son over at least have an adult give us a call. since then he's never come back.

 

[TheOmegaCode]

Heh, reminds me of the only time I ever babysat, about 4-5 years ago... A few of my moms church friends had to go out for the night, and they knew me, so I got the luxury of watching their kids for the night. Now, these are/were really, really good kids. No problems what so ever, other than kids being kids (little hyper at times). So they wanted to go out front to play. I was sitting back, enjoying a lemonade when all of a sudden this kid from five houses down started giving them crap. The kids I was watching just put their heads down and started walking back inside (apparently they avoid confrontation like the plague, which is good for them, I, on the other hand, don't...).

I told the kids I was watching that I was going to be saying some things that they should not repeat, and that avoiding confrontation was the wise thing to do. After giving my little schpeel, I proceeded to walk over to the bully and threw him off his bike. I asked where he gets off giving these kids crap when all they were doing was playing in their yard. I started yelling at him and he went home crying. Then his mom came out and started yelling at me for making her kid cry. I then started yelling at her, I told her what her kid did, then started telling her "no wonder your kid is an obnoxious little sh1t, you're enabling the little bastards behavior! blah, blah, blah." She apparently had never been talked to like that by a 15 year old and stormed back inside. I heard her yell at the kid, asking if what I told her was true.

Long story short, the parents (my moms friends) came home and I told them everything that happened. At first they looked a little dumbfounded, but they were happy that I stuck up for their kids and told them that they did the right thing by walking away. They gave me double what I was expecting, $40 for about 5 hours 'work.'

I know I kinda went off topic here, but hey, that's the name of the forum

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: Tabb
Kick his @ss, or get your son/daughter some kung foo or weight lifting.

Kung foo < kung bar

 

[BDawg]

Originally posted by: Tabb
Kick his @ss,

Sea-bass.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: TheOmegaCode
Heh, reminds me of the only time I ever babysat, about 4-5 years ago... A few of my moms church friends had to go out for the night, and they knew me, so I got the luxury of watching their kids for the night. Now, these are/were really, really good kids. No problems what so ever, other than kids being kids (little hyper at times). So they wanted to go out front to play. I was sitting back, enjoying a lemonade when all of a sudden this kid from five houses down started giving them crap. The kids I was watching just put their heads down and started walking back inside (apparently they avoid confrontation like the plague, which is good for them, I, on the other hand, don't...).

I told the kids I was watching that I was going to be saying some things that they should not repeat, and that avoiding confrontation was the wise thing to do. After giving my little schpeel, I proceeded to walk over to the bully and threw him off his bike. I asked where he gets off giving these kids crap when all they were doing was playing in their yard. I started yelling at him and he went home crying. Then his mom came out and started yelling at me for making her kid cry. I then started yelling at her, I told her what her kid did, then started telling her "no wonder your kid is an obnoxious little sh1t, you're enabling the little bastards behavior! blah, blah, blah." She apparently had never been talked to like that by a 15 year old and stormed back inside. I heard her yell at the kid, asking if what I told her was true.

Long story short, the parents (my moms friends) came home and I told them everything that happened. At first they looked a little dumbfounded, but they were happy that I stuck up for their kids and told them that they did the right thing by walking away. They gave me double what I was expecting, $40 for about 5 hours 'work.'

I know I kinda went off topic here, but hey, that's the name of the forum

At 15 you can get away with that. at 18 you can't so now that your older don't get physical with other peoples kids. just some friendly advice.

but yes, my kids friends all know me as the STRICT parent, i don't let kids get away with bad behavior in my presence.

it's tough line tho. as they aren't my kids. but i can tell you from what i've seen, kids that don't respect their parents respect me because they know i won't put up with cr@p. kids that don't obey their parents, obey me when i raise my voice just a little.

kids that age are LOOKING for guidance, they don't want their parents to be their friends. they want their parents to be their guides and teachers. and to do anything less is doing your kids a disservice in my opnion.

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: LeeTJ
Like i said, i resolved the issue. but day in day out you never know what kids can get into. i hate seeing kids like that because you can see what their gonna be when they grow up.

His parents are NOTORIOUS for never being there. None of the other parents hardly ever see this people. even swimming lessons, he's the first kid dropped off, last kid picked up.

you can see that he envy's friends with involved parents.

i feel for the kid, but it's not my responsibility to raise him, but i can dislike his parents for not doing their job.

BTW, this is the same kid i posted about earlier that kept coming to our house and spending the whole day there w/o a peep or call from his parents. so i asked his mother, if your gonna send your son over at least have an adult give us a call. since then he's never come back.

Call social services.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Gobadgrs

Originally posted by: LeeTJ
Like i said, i resolved the issue. but day in day out you never know what kids can get into. i hate seeing kids like that because you can see what their gonna be when they grow up.

His parents are NOTORIOUS for never being there. None of the other parents hardly ever see this people. even swimming lessons, he's the first kid dropped off, last kid picked up.

you can see that he envy's friends with involved parents.

i feel for the kid, but it's not my responsibility to raise him, but i can dislike his parents for not doing their job.

BTW, this is the same kid i posted about earlier that kept coming to our house and spending the whole day there w/o a peep or call from his parents. so i asked his mother, if your gonna send your son over at least have an adult give us a call. since then he's never come back.

Call social services.

I'm tempted to, but i'd like to have evidence of real abuse before i do that. it is just such a terrible thing to be taken away from your parents.

The kid would have to be living in pretty bad conditions to justify sending him to social services.

like i said. if i were staying in the neighborhood, i would threaten the mother with social services just to get her to get her act together. but i don't know that i'd really do it.

 

[Azraele]

Call social services. Even if you move away the problem will remain. Get a neighborhood petition too maybe.

 

[Ciber]

Get a bigger kid to beat his ass .

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Azraele
Call social services. Even if you move away the problem will remain. Get a neighborhood petition too maybe.

you think so? that's a pretty big step. also this neighborhood is almost all asian, (indian, Chinese, Korean). the family in question tho greek.

this isn't some kind of racial thing people it was just stated because those are the facts.

now, asians in general are very reluctant to get involved and report things. petitions and such don't work well with asians.

also, it's a pretty bad thing to put a family thru, sic social services on them.

would that benefit the child?

 

[KC5AV]

If you have seen the kids walking the streets alone, call social services and report it. They will investigate from there and determine if there is any reason to remove the kids. More than likely, they will instruct the parents to be more watchful. They will also follow up on it. It's a good move to make. They aren't going to take the kids away from the parents unless they see a good reason to.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: KC5AV
If you have seen the kids walking the streets alone, call social services and report it. They will investigate from there and determine if there is any reason to remove the kids. More than likely, they will instruct the parents to be more watchful. They will also follow up on it. It's a good move to make. They aren't going to take the kids away from the parents unless they see a good reason to.

but hey, when i was 6 i did it. i wandered the streets. and i believe my parents to have been good parents.

i'm reluctant for many reasons and i'll be the first to admit one of them is because i'm lazy. but it isn't the ONLY reason.

i think social services has gotten really out of hand in this country. IN NJ we are required BY law to keep our children in car seats untill the age of EIGHT. EIGHT or 80 lbs. EIGHT, i never even wore a seatbelt growing up and we never even HEARD of a car seat when i was growing up.

 

[Jzero]

It's NJ. We don't even trust drivers to make a left-hand turn.
I blame the liberals

 

[MainFramed]

Originally posted by: Tabb
Kick his @ss, or get your son/daughter some kung foo or weight lifting.

serioulsy, beat this piss outta the kid and put em in his place.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: MainFramed

Originally posted by: Tabb
Kick his @ss, or get your son/daughter some kung foo or weight lifting.

serioulsy, beat this piss outta the kid and put em in his place.

thats the initial feeling of any father. but unfortunately we can't just respond like that. there are other "considerations".

if i knew the parents better i would take a much more proactive role in the childs 'rearing' but i don't.

 

[Azraele]

would that benefit the child?

Would leaving him in the situation benefit him? You could try raising your concerns with the parents, and if they don't improve, then call social sevices and let them handle it.

 

[Ulfwald]

Have a talk with his parents, get other neighbors involved. Have them go with you. Tell his parents that unless they control their kid, and teach him how to act in public, that measures up to and including involving child services will be taken.. File police reports, document everything this kid does to your kid. Have the other parents document his actions as well.

 

[LeeTJ]

Originally posted by: Azraele

would that benefit the child?

Would leaving him in the situation benefit him? You could try raising your concerns with the parents, and if they don't improve, then call social sevices and let them handle it.

it's this invasion of privacy thing that still hangs in my throat tho. i just can't swallow it. My parents would probably have gone before social services. but they did what was required to get us where we are. my mom worked 2 jobs full time, my dad worked full time and had a retail store.

My grandmother was home to watch us (just like with this family that i'm speaking of) but grandmothers can never be the parents that mothers can. they just don't have the energy. i've seen it in almost every family where a grandmother is taking care of the children.

like i said, it's a tough situation and a tough call.

 

[SpiderX]

I'm not sure what its like it the states, but it's hard here (Saskatchewan) to get Social Services to act unless there is specific abuse, ie beating. When I used to be a lifeguard, I worked at one of the pools that was in the inner city area of the city. We'd have kids who would show up at 10am when lessons started and would stay until 9pm when the pool closed. One little girl did this everyday, so I would usually give her my lunch because she just didn't eat. When I asked where her parents were she said either the bar or bingo. She was locked out of the house when they left. Stuff like that is sad.

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: SpiderX
I'm not sure what its like it the states, but it's hard here (Saskatchewan) to get Social Services to act unless there is specific abuse, ie beating. When I used to be a lifeguard, I worked at one of the pools that was in the inner city area of the city. We'd have kids who would show up at 10am when lessons started and would stay until 9pm when the pool closed. One little girl did this everyday, so I would usually give her my lunch because she just didn't eat. When I asked where her parents were she said either the bar or bingo. She was locked out of the house when they left. Stuff like that is sad.

When I was a kid, I spent 12 hour days at the swim club. There's got to be more to the story than that...all my friends were there all day long, too. It was just an added bonus that at kept me out of my parents' hair all day and most of the evening....

But even in NJ they might send a social worker out to ask some questions, but they aren't going to institutionalize any kids unless there are obvious signs of physical abuse or they have strong evidence of neglect.

 

[Alistar7]

tell him if he keeps it up you are going to start paying the older kids to bully him.....