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Need some Solid Advice: Aunt just died, trying to console my mom's

T

thatsright

Diamond Member
Well she actually died about a month ago, after a long, drawn out illness. What sucks is that my mom (who is 57) is devastated as my aunt was her best friend. My aunt (who was about 54) lived in Seattle, and my Mom lives in Boston so she didn't get to see her really. She only saw her once in the last 25 years, as she flew out to see her in 2001. But they would talk every few days. My aunt was funny as hell, real dry wit and biting social humor that she would include in her daily e-mails to my mom. They had a greater bond than the friendship between my mom and I.

I know that you can never 'get over' a loss like this, but I'm really @ a loss of how I can console my mom and make her feel better in anyway. I never meet my aunt and would only talk to her very briefly on the phone. So there isn't anything 'I can remember' about how awesome my aunt was that we could share together and that might make my mom less depressed. I would like to do something for my mom, to make her feel better, but I just don't know what to do. It goes without saying that she is severely depressed. It's like half of her died, and she has no one to talk to.

If anyone can offer any suggestions, I would forever appreciate it. Right now, I don't have any money and won't for a few weeks, so can you guys think of anything that is low/no cost that might make her feel better.

Whatever you guys can think of I'd appreciate it. Thanks:thumbsup:
 
Just be the best son you can be. Other than that, she needs to work through the grief herself.
 
Great advice.. I lost both my Mom and my grandmother on christmas a couple years ago (they were NOT together when it happened, both phone calls were shocking)

Needless to say this hit my family very hard, and we are still working through it. Everyone grieves differently, and time heals all. Just make yourself available to talk to (if she wants too) and try to be on your best behaivor right now.
 
My mom is also a big fan of Tibetan culture, and all thinks near/far-east. My mom and Aunt grew up in Japan as kids, so this is where her passion for all thinks Zen/Feung She come from.

My mom also loves poetry. If anyone has any links to post-death/reaffirming poetry, that is uplifting, that would be a big help. I looked online and couldn't find much.
 
Originally posted by: thatsright
Anyone else have any suggestions?
Click to expand...

I live in Seattle - is she buried nearby? I'd be happy to go put a bouquet or something on her grave if it would make your mom feel a little better at all. Take a picture of it or what. Sorry for your mom's loss, and yours. 🙁
 
If your mom is into Buddhism/east, maybe take her to a buddhist temple/shinto shrine. I am sure that there are some on the west Coast, You could prolly find one on the wast.
 
Well my aunt was cremated. And to make matters even more hard on my mom, her daughters treated her badly when she was out in Seattle. Not on purpose in a mean way, but they never meet my mom and were very distant. They said they would send my mom some of my aunts ashes, but later told my mom that they "got lost by UPS." A total BS answer.

BTW, my Mom lives in Boston. There is a very small Buddhist garden nearby. Maybe I could take her there.
 
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