Need some help with my homework

[Howard]

I know, I know... *puts up flame-retardant undies




OK, what I need is an abridged version of a fairy tale (Beauty and the Beast, Jack and the Beanstalk, The Three Little Pigs, Cinderella, etc.) converted to modern slang. For example, if there was

They spent a little time at John's home.

it should be

They hung out at John's pad.

Thanks in advance!

 

[Locutus of Board]

E=mc2

 

[syzygy]

try running all the lines you wish converted to
modern slang through the site below. i do not know
if any of the available dialects offered qualify
for what you are looking for, but they are funny.
methinks so at least. cheers.

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

 

[Howard]

Thanks. Now I just need an abridged version of a fairy tale.

 

[Talon]

http://www.interest.de/~krausst/grimm/jack.and.beanstalk.html

You can also run it through this, but you may have to clean it up some.

http://joel.net/EBONICS/translator.asp

3 little pigs - politically correct version
http://www.lrsm.upenn.edu/~sherman/humor/pcpigs.html

3 little pigs - unrevised version
http://www2.mo-net.com/~mlindste/3pigs.html

 

[Howard]

No, I need clean slang... Not ebonics. single, word-for-word translations. Again, home -> pad.

 

[Howard]

And also extremely clean... No cursing, or even words like 'pissed off'.

 

[hendon]

Well, take a abridged version of a story book and translate it yourself?
Or make it up as you go along ..

 

[Howard]

That's why you're here

 

[Howard]

^