need some advice about a relationship that just started

[fluxquantum]

hi everyone. i realize that i am pathetic for even posting this question, but i need some advice about my relationship. i met a girl who goes to UNC charlotte. i live in columbia, sc and i see her almost every weekend. we are very much in love, but the problem is i am unemployed and trying to get myself back together. i was terminated from a previous job and i have not had any luck in finding work in either SC or NC so i posted my resume on monster and have had a few interviews out of state. currently i have two that look promising. one is in columbus, ohio and the other is in baltimore, maryland. the problem is that i don't want to relocate because i want to be as close to her as possible. i did have one interview in charlotte, but it is uncertain whether i will get the position. i am a civil engineer by the way. it sucks that i am having extreme financial difficulties and my relationship is at stake because i might have to take any job that comes my way and that might mean relocating. what should i do? i can't keep waiting for job offers locally or in NC because my financial resources are quickly dwindling. *sigh* i just don't know. seems like this relationship is too good to be true anyways. i hate to even mention this to anyone, but i am desparate. i don't want a career and financial matters to get in the way of my relationship. any advice/flames would be appreciated. :frown:

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

Did you talk to her about it? Maybe you could work something out as a temporary arrangement with you moving with the intention of returning as soon as you could. Seems like it's always easier to find a job when you're already employed.

If you absolutely can't move, then you might look at positions not within your field, or perhaps a temp (contracting) job.

 

[kranky]

You probably don't want to hear this, but hey, it's free advice.

You didn't say where she is from, when she will finish school, or where she'll be looking for work when she finishes.

If you stay and don't find work, the financial strain won't be helping your relationship anyway. She's in school, so it's not likely she can support you while you continue to look for work. So if one of the out-of-town jobs comes through, you could take it and still try to find work in Columbia and/or Charlotte. I can certainly understand why you don't want to end your relationship, but you have to have work. In other words, if you stay and don't find work, how would that affect your relationship? Compare that to having a job (even if out-of-town) but then having the possibility and resources to return later on.

BTW, I've been to Columbia (and Lexington) a few times and it's a nice town. Had some great meals at the Blue Marlin, the Longhorn Steakhouse, and Harpers in Five Points. Best of luck to you.

 

[Namuna]

Stability should be your first priority. Find that job.

Look at it this way...How often are you going to be able to visit your gal if you've got no money?