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Need Honest Opinions

Price-wise, it looks reasonable...but I think you're "deluxe" description is WAY too descriptive!

People are gonna be hella-intimidated by all of that on a single sheet of paper....
 
Well I know that it is very descriptive and the average Joe will not have a clue what it means. But for the ones that do know what it all is they will know it is a decent price.
 
If it's sooo "deluxe" they don't even know what most of the stuff is, they may come off with the impression that it's even more impressive than they can imagine... Imagine a guy that just wants speakers that "go boom" talking to some guy at a car audio bass competition: He doesn't know what all that is, but he'd damn sure want it.
 
For those that do not like downloading .doc files here is what is in the .doc



MADE 2 OWN COMPUTERS
Christmas Specials

Deluxe System
Antec SX830 ATX Case With 300 Watt Power Supply
IWILL KK266 Plus, VIA Apollo KT133A Chipset, 266MHz Bus, ATA100. Socket A Motherboard with Sound - RETAIL 6-PCI, 1-ISA (1 shared), 1-AGP, 3-DIMM, on-board 5.1 Channel Audio.
AMD ATHLON THUNDERBIRD 1.4GHz 266MHz FSB SOCKET A PGA PROCESSOR
VGA LEADTEK|GeForce3/TI200 64MB TV Retail BoxWinFast GeForce3-Ti (Titanium Chip), 64MB Memory onboard, 4ns, Supports VGA, TV Out only, Hardware Monitoring, With 2 games: Dronez & Gunlok
CORSAIR MEMORY 256MB PC133 C2 SDRAM RAM
IBM 40GB 7200RPM Deskstar 60GXP Ultra ATA/100
GEMSTAR GL-150L 15 INCH TFT FLAT LCD MONITOR
LITE-ON LTR-24102B-02 24x10x40 CDRW
LITE-ON LTD-163 SPEED 16X DVD ROM 48X CD-ROM
Creative Modem Blaster V.90 PCI 56k Modem Fully compliant with V.90 and V.34. Data, Fax, and Voice capabilities. Up to 56Kbps data transfer rate. Support V.80 Video Conferencing
NETGEAR FA311 ETHERNET NETWORK CARD 10/100 MBPS PCI
Microsoft Intelli-Mouse Optical PS2/USB
Microsoft 114 keys (10 internet Hot Keys) Internet Keyboard PS/2
Thermalright SK-6, ALL COPPER, Heatsink with Delta 60X60X25 38CFM fan
ALTEC LANSING AVS 300W MULTIMEDIA 3 Piece Speaker System
Microsoft Windows XP Home Edition

Only $1600 Plus Tax

Budget System
Complete System
Celeron 1ghz Processor
20 Gig Hard Drive
128 Megs of Ram
52x CD Rom
Network On Board
56k Modem
Floppy
Mouse
Keyboard
Speakers
17? Monitor
Windows 98

Only $750 Plus Tax

TO CUSTOMIZE AND ORDER PLEASE CALL
770-967-7887
THANK YOU

 
In all honesty, that is a terrible flier. Everything is cluttered and confusing, not to mention the typos. You should work on a cleaner layout and use a few pictures or logos.
 


<< In all honesty, that is a terrible flier. Everything is cluttered and confusing, not to mention the typos. You should work on a cleaner layout and use a few pictures or logos. >>




i agree 100%. too much info for a flier just give the basic specs. add pictures of what it will look like and make a good logo to put at the top.

i didnt want to sound mean but you said you wanted it to be Honest.
 
I agree with everyone on being too much detail in the Deluxe
Should condess to:
IWILL KK266 Plus, 266MHz Bus, ATA100, with Sound - 6-PCI, 1-ISA, 1-AGP, 3-DIMM, on-board 5.1 Channel Audio
AMD Athlon 1.4 Ghz 266 FSB
VGA LEADTEK|GeForce3/TI200 64MB TV (games titles)[lose the 4ns and added 64 MB memory and hardware monitoring]
IBM 40GB 7200RPM Ultra ATA/100
[not sure what you can do with the modem]
Thermalright SK-6 Heatsink , ALL COPPER

Just my recommendations...... but to me there seems to be a lot of detail. Like you said the average Joe may not know it but for the ones that do know what it all is they will know it is a decent price. I would feel the ones that do would be savy enough to just build their own but I don't run a business and you do, so you would know more about that 😉

Good luck in your business!
 
Price seems ok, I went to newegg and got all the parts that you listed, minus case couldn't find one like your listed. I won't say the price I came up with 😉 but good profit for you 🙂

As far as your budget system goes maybe a little more detail on that, maybe name of company of HDD, CD-ROM, NIC, 56k modem, monitor, keyboard. Don't put the names if they are no names. But if it's well known name then yes.

Ok, done with my 3 cents.
 
Oh, People WILL complain about that CPU fan because it's very loud. Only serious overclockers would want an SK-6 with 38 cfm delta, and serious overclockers wouldn't be buying a comp from anyone - they would rather build one themselves. So just get an Antec Jet Cool Premium because it does decently or if you insist on good cooling pick PAL8045 with a quiet fan. Try to make your comp quiet (or as quiet as it can be w/o sacrificing features) and you will have happy customers.
 
xmas.jpg



How is that?
 
You do know the clueless people will hunt you down when it breaks (or they "break" it)


At the very least you better make a ghost restore for the machines
 
http://www.made2own.com/xmas.jpg

Now that is looking a lot better. Instead of centering all of the text, make it line up on the left side. Also, try not to be so descriptive.

Example:


Antec SX830 ATX Case w/ 300 Watt Power Supply
Iwill KK266 Plus 6-PCI, 1-ISA (1 shared), 1-AGP, 3-DIMM, 5.1 Channel Audio.
AMD Thunderbird 1.4GHz 266MHz
LeadTek GeForce3/TI200 64MB w/ TV Out
Corsair 256MB PC133 SDRAM
IBM 40GB 7200RPM Deskstar 60GXP Ultra ATA/100
Lite-On 24x10x40 CDRW
Lite-On 16X DVDROM
Creative Modem Blaster 56K/V.90
Netgear 10/100 Ethernet card
Microsoft IntelliMouse Optical
Microsoft Internet Keyboard
Thermalright SK-6, *All copper* heatsink w/ Delta 60X60X25 38CFM fan
Altec Lansing AVS 300W 3 Piece Speaker System
Gemstar GL-150L 15in TFT LCD Monitor
Microsoft Windows XP Home Edition

Only $1600 Plus Tax

 
Mix: As others have noted, cut way back on the technical details. They're intimidating for people who don't have a clue and overkill for people who are PC-savvy. Beyond that, a more fundamental issue is that you've got way too much steak and not enough sizzle. And "sizzle" is what sells steak.

For example, Kodak sells film but it doesn't market film. It markets memories. 😉

 
Ugly.

Put a logo or some neat graphics... and for heaven's sake use Tahoma or Verdana.

Oh... and use Athlon XP's instead... much better.
 
I think its way too text heavy and descriptive too - even I couldn't be bothered reading it all and it makes sense to me! Just image someone reading that who doesn't know what a Thermalright SK-6, *All copper* heatsink w/ Delta 60X60X25 38CFM fan is.

Good luck with it though, hope it goes well.
 
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