Need help for wedding toast ASAP!

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F

Fingers

Platinum Member
Sep 4, 2000
2,188
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I'm getting down to the last minute. My brother is getting married tomorrow(sunday) at 3 and I'm the best man. I've still not happy with any of my ideas for a toast and could use some recomendations of a good generic toast that I can have for backup or if someone would like to critique what I have so far.

I was trying for a funny one that was still a bit serious.

Here is what I have so far:

"You 2 are certainly meant for each other, but I have some advice so that your years together will be more enjoyable. Bryan, it is important for you to know that a person cannot own too many purses or shoes. Chrissy, you need to know that in this life there is nothing out there for sale that you can't just borrow from your friends and family until they go crazy trying to get it back from you. Hopefully knowing these things about each other will help make your lives together go much smoother. I am sure you made the best decision of your lives and hope to see you celebrate it for years to come. To the Bride and Groom."



I am really not very happy with that. Any pointers please?

BTW the jokes are about how Chrissy has about 10 million pairs of shoes and a butt load of purses. My brother Bryan has a habit of borrowing stuff from everybody and not returning it for a year or 2.
 
NFS4

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
You're the best man, and he's your BROTHER. You can come up with something better than that bullsh!t. Dig down deep man!!!!!!
 
F

Fingers

Platinum Member
Sep 4, 2000
2,188
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Originally posted by: NFS4
You're the best man, and he's your BROTHER. You can come up with something better than that bullsh!t. Dig down deep man!!!!!!
Click to expand...

My first wedding and believe it or not I had no idea that I was suppossed to give a toast. :eek:

Just started on one yesterday.
 
NFS4

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
I just went to a friend's wedding last weekend and the best man spoke of two events during his toast.

1) When they first met (on campus at the dining hall)
2) When he knew that it was true love about 3 years ago (Groom was half wasted and belched in the bride's face and she didn't skip a beat. Instead, she turned to him and belted one right back at him even louder)

It got a laugh out of everyone
 
F

Fingers

Platinum Member
Sep 4, 2000
2,188
0
0
Originally posted by: NFS4
I just went to a friend's wedding last weekend and the best man spoke of two events during his toast.

1) When they first met (on campus at the dining hall)
2) When he knew that it was true love about 3 years ago (Groom was half wasted and belched in the bride's face and she didn't skip a beat. Instead, she turned to him and belted one right back at him even louder)

It got a laugh out of everyone
Click to expand...

Thats pretty funny.
 
J

Jassi

Diamond Member
Sep 8, 2004
3,296
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If you can't think of anything by the time of the wedding, get really really wasted (or pretend). Then you have an excuse for screwing this up for your brother :)
 
NFS4

NFS4

No Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
72,636
47
91
Oh, I forgot to add. The best man introduced the bride to the groom at the dining hall 5 and a half years ago. The groom's last name is Wright. So when he introduced the two, he said "Emily, I'd like you to meet Mr. Wright!" He said she didn't get it and everyone at the reception burst out laughing :p

Just think of some funny things that have happened in the past, things about you two growing up. Funny stories about the both of them. Anything that embarasses them :D
 
funboy6942

funboy6942

Lifer
Nov 13, 2001
15,362
416
126
As I stand here today before all of you, my friends and most important family. I look to my side and see the smile that this beautiful woman has put on my brothers face I havent seen in a very long time. That smile I have never seen till she has come into his life. I know that this marrage will be a long and filled one with many joys to come just look at how they look at each other with love and commitment. It is such a shame I have to ruin it because I cought my brother in the back room with a server doing the nasty. He is no good for you I told you that for the longest time. Only I can fill the hole in your life. Only I can give you what you need. My brother is a lying cheating whore of a shell of a man and you deserve better then that. Shela leave him lets run off together to the bahamas and make wild love under a bannna tree.
 
S

Sex Smurf

Golden Member
Oct 13, 2004
1,384
2
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Start off with:

"I'd rather be here with you two, than with the best people in the world. . ."


See how long it takes for them to get it.
 
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