Need critique on a flyer college student club

[Goosemaster]

Text

I know the colors are off but can't decide what to use as a base color.

I have tried various banners across but they all seem to get in the way more than anything else.


Please...trash it...mock it...say vile things about its mother (not my mother). I need loads of feedback.

Thanks


edit:

made many more changes

 

[FoBoT]

other than the over use of "we" , it is fine

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
other than the over use of "we" , it is fine

How about I just limit it to the last three phrases for emphasis?

 

[esun]

We Work hard.
We Play hard.

Don't capitalize "work" and "play", it looks odd.
The centering of the red and black text is different. The black looks slightly shifted to the right of the red.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: esun
We Work hard.
We Play hard.

Don't capitalize "work" and "play", it looks odd.
The centering of the red and black text is different. The black looks slightly shifted to the right of the red.

Fixed it.


An more opinions about the color?


I have to go (will be gone for about 45min..) so it's not that I will be ignoring any comments

 

[richardycc]

the logo is too big, I dont think anyone would care what your logo look like at this point...increase the size of vital info, like time, date.

 

[Mike2002]

where are the meetings gonna be...i'd put that on the poster. just say:

Meetings
Wednesdays 1245-130
Room 111 or wherever

thats the most important thing to put on there since most...well i probably wouldn't check the website

 

[Goosemaster]

Thanks...I made changes....

 

[Goosemaster]

changed the colors....does it look better?

 

[Saint Michael]

I think you need to toss the blue or toss the burnt yellow. They don't work together. I'm also not feeling the black 'S'.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Saint Michael
I think you need to toss the blue or toss the burnt yellow. They don't work together. I'm also not feeling the black 'S'.

I changed it to a 'burnt orange' for now I didn't make the logo, and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I have to recreate it in vector form so I'll definitively fix that....

I guess I could install GIMP in a VM and fix this right now....hmmm...

 

[Aluvus]

I'm not a fan of the "burnt orange".

You don't need HSU in "HSU welcomes you...". I would argue you don't really need that line at all, but a lot of school clubs use something like it.

The part in the middle that gives meeting times and locations is too crowded. It's also the most important part of the whole thing. Try to add some horizontal whitespace (spaces between times and "pm", not everything needs to be upper-case), and then see if you can shift things around to add some vertical whitespace (even if that means removing something else).

I would put the URL in lowercase; most people expect this, and all-caps is hard to read. I would also lose the drop-shadow effect. And it must be said: that is a loooong URL.

The "We work hard..." bit doesn't really make it clear what you do. Also, the last one doesn't have a period. Unless it can be retooled to really convey some information about what the club is, either shrink it down or lose it entirely.

The bit right above it is similarly fluff. It's a little more concrete, but not much. Also, the "Working together to succeed..." line is too long; it should be closer to the length of the other two above it.

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Aluvus
I'm not a fan of the "burnt orange".

You don't need HSU in "HSU welcomes you...". I would argue you don't really need that line at all, but a lot of school clubs use something like it.

The part in the middle that gives meeting times and locations is too crowded. It's also the most important part of the whole thing. Try to add some horizontal whitespace (spaces between times and "pm", not everything needs to be upper-case), and then see if you can shift things around to add some vertical whitespace (even if that means removing something else).

I would put the URL in lowercase; most people expect this, and all-caps is hard to read. I would also lose the drop-shadow effect. And it must be said: that is a loooong URL.

The "We work hard..." bit doesn't really make it clear what you do. Also, the last one doesn't have a period. Unless it can be retooled to really convey some information about what the club is, either shrink it down or lose it entirely.

The bit right above it is similarly fluff. It's a little more concrete, but not much. Also, the "Working together to succeed..." line is too long; it should be closer to the length of the other two above it.

damn...and I just emailed it to kinkos

The key is that the club is going through a transition and I didn't want to put too much on there...the club agenda is being set on an ongoing basis.

I shouldn't just stuck with "lots of dances and hot chicks" draft that I erased