So my girlfriend and I are 23. dating for 2 years.
When we met I was really cash-strapped in college. She had a work-study job that paid better. I was getting a computer engineering degree, her a liberal arts (poli sci) degree.
Now situations are reversed.. I'm making "a lot", and she's making "not much". meaning she takes home about 750/month (works for a public school).
She has a lot of student loans and another loan, totaling about 300/month in payouts. She tries to save 100/month for a nestegg. She lives with her parents, and they don't make a lot of money either. Whenever they ask to borrow money (we're talking 250-range), even if that means she has <20 dollars in the bank, she always gives it to them. This happened recently, and they promised to pay her back today, and she found out her parents want the money for this month, and will __try__ to pay her back next month. No real explanation given, they just didn't want to part with the money for this month. For us, this means that she can't go to Washington, D.C. to see her 2 year old niece, whom she hasn't seen in 1.5 years. (and I have to figure out how to go on vacation without making her jealous. Without her, I'd be on the next plane to ireland). That means she'll have to wait until next year, as later this month was the only opportunity. The last time her mom borrowed money, it was to go see this neice. Her 3rd time in 12 months.
Additionally, she can never maintain the savings account. She inevitably ends up spending it. She always promises to pay herself back when she gets her next check, but this has been going on since january, in theory the whole 450 dollar remainder should go there. Not happening.
Every time I try to give her advice like making less of a commitment to the savings and moving it to another bank, or don't lend money she plans on using within the next 6 months, she says, "don't be financially snobby right now." Whenever the situation comes up, she says that I don't understand because I make a lot of money. Even when I tell her it's a trick I used to get through college with about 3k/yr for personal spending.
Is there _any_ way I can give her advice on this kind of stuff without turning into "the bad guy?" It's getting to relationship-stressing point because she always talks about how she has no money, but doesn't want to hear any advice from someone who's been there on how to fix it..
When we met I was really cash-strapped in college. She had a work-study job that paid better. I was getting a computer engineering degree, her a liberal arts (poli sci) degree.
Now situations are reversed.. I'm making "a lot", and she's making "not much". meaning she takes home about 750/month (works for a public school).
She has a lot of student loans and another loan, totaling about 300/month in payouts. She tries to save 100/month for a nestegg. She lives with her parents, and they don't make a lot of money either. Whenever they ask to borrow money (we're talking 250-range), even if that means she has <20 dollars in the bank, she always gives it to them. This happened recently, and they promised to pay her back today, and she found out her parents want the money for this month, and will __try__ to pay her back next month. No real explanation given, they just didn't want to part with the money for this month. For us, this means that she can't go to Washington, D.C. to see her 2 year old niece, whom she hasn't seen in 1.5 years. (and I have to figure out how to go on vacation without making her jealous. Without her, I'd be on the next plane to ireland). That means she'll have to wait until next year, as later this month was the only opportunity. The last time her mom borrowed money, it was to go see this neice. Her 3rd time in 12 months.
Additionally, she can never maintain the savings account. She inevitably ends up spending it. She always promises to pay herself back when she gets her next check, but this has been going on since january, in theory the whole 450 dollar remainder should go there. Not happening.
Every time I try to give her advice like making less of a commitment to the savings and moving it to another bank, or don't lend money she plans on using within the next 6 months, she says, "don't be financially snobby right now." Whenever the situation comes up, she says that I don't understand because I make a lot of money. Even when I tell her it's a trick I used to get through college with about 3k/yr for personal spending.
Is there _any_ way I can give her advice on this kind of stuff without turning into "the bad guy?" It's getting to relationship-stressing point because she always talks about how she has no money, but doesn't want to hear any advice from someone who's been there on how to fix it..
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