Need advice on a roomate issue

[Graphicd00d]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

That would appear to be a good solution but another part of this issue is that we clearly have differing ideas as to what should be purchased.She goes on and on about how she likes our healthy diet and loves my cooking but then complains that her kids won't eat that food.I think it's not an issue that's going to be solved that easily.

This is what my mom said if we didn't want to eat what she made or got at the store. " If you don't like what I make to eat then you don't have to eat at all."

Who is the parent? Her or the kids?

 

[Graphicd00d]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

That would appear to be a good solution but another part of this issue is that we clearly have differing ideas as to what should be purchased.She goes on and on about how she likes our healthy diet and loves my cooking but then complains that her kids won't eat that food.I think it's not an issue that's going to be solved that easily.

This is what my mom said if we didn't want to eat what she made or got at the store. " If you don't like what I make to eat then you don't have to eat at all."

Who is the parent? Her or the kids?

 

[Graphicd00d]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

That would appear to be a good solution but another part of this issue is that we clearly have differing ideas as to what should be purchased.She goes on and on about how she likes our healthy diet and loves my cooking but then complains that her kids won't eat that food.I think it's not an issue that's going to be solved that easily.

This is what my mom said if we didn't want to eat what she made or got at the store. " If you don't like what I make to eat then you don't have to eat at all."

Who is the parent? Her or the kids?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Sounds like it's time to stop sharing food. She and her kids don't want to eat the same things as you, and also, one adult and two kids (under 10yo) do not eat as much as three adults (you, s.o., teenager). Almost impossible to divide the grocery bill fairly in this situation.

I eat primarily at work,her 9 yr old wears bigger clothing than I do and the youngest sucks down milk like it was free.

 

[Danman]

When my roomates and I moved in last August, we started out buying everything together. Well, when we went my roomates bitched about how they don't want to pay for stuff I will eat and they won't yet I'll pay for their stupid snacks.

So I told them to go fvck themselves and we do not go grocery shopping anymore together, my fiance and I shop together and I get whatever we want for us to and I could care less what they eat. 😛

 

[Graphicd00d]

Crap! Computer must be on the fritz!

 

[Supermercado]

I live with three other guys and we have one fridge between us (and a small minifridge for drinks). One guy is hardly ever here so he doesn't have any food here except a box of stale graham crackers 😛 But the other three of us each buy our own food separately and just put it all in the fridge. I keep track of what's mine and so do the other two. I don't mind sharing here and there and neither do they, so things like pieces of cheese, ketchup, mustard, etc. get shared. Works well for us, anyway. Every now and then we have a common meal and we usually just contribute parts to the whole. I made a chicken and noodle dinner from Campbell's one night - I had the noodles and seasoning and stuff and one of my roommates provided the chicken and we split the meal. Granted, that probably wouldn't work so well in your case, but it works for us. I'd try just buying whatever you need and keeping track of who bought what.

 

[Bryophyte]

You say she's frustrated that she has to buy takeout food so her kids have something they like to eat. That's not your problem. It's her responsibility to feed her own children, not yours. If you bring home foods they don't like, too bad. You're not the parent. Tell her that you've decided to stop being the house short-order cook. It's not your problem. Don't try to feel responsible because she's feeling frustrated. She can learn to deal with it. Also, her kids are old enough to learn which shelf their food is on in the fridge, and which shelf to keep out of. Pantry shelves too.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: SuperCommando
I live with three other guys and we have one fridge between us (and a small minifridge for drinks). One guy is hardly ever here so he doesn't have any food here except a box of stale graham crackers 😛 But the other three of us each buy our own food separately and just put it all in the fridge. I keep track of what's mine and so do the other two. I don't mind sharing here and there and neither do they, so things like pieces of cheese, ketchup, mustard, etc. get shared. Works well for us, anyway. Every now and then we have a common meal and we usually just contribute parts to the whole. I made a chicken and noodle dinner from Campbell's one night - I had the noodles and seasoning and stuff and one of my roommates provided the chicken and we split the meal. Granted, that probably wouldn't work so well in your case, but it works for us. I'd try just buying whatever you need and keeping track of who bought what.

Hmmm... spilting of basics like milk,juice,soda.ketchup,trash bags etc and cooking an occasional communal meal sounds fair,friendly and reasonable.

Keep in mind that I really like this woman,I don't think her actions are deliberately intended to cheat me or to frustrate me.I do think we're good intentioned but working at cross purposes here.Lol,she yelled at me one week because I bought cookies(There are kids here) but when I buy only healthy food then there's nothing to eat🙂

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Sounds like it's time to stop sharing food. She and her kids don't want to eat the same things as you, and also, one adult and two kids (under 10yo) do not eat as much as three adults (you, s.o., teenager). Almost impossible to divide the grocery bill fairly in this situation.

I eat primarily at work,her 9 yr old wears bigger clothing than I do and the youngest sucks down milk like it was free.

Eat restaurant/takeout or food from home (groceries)? Anyway, her kids should probably be drinking 1% or higher milkfat, so maybe just divide milk too if they consume more.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Sounds like it's time to stop sharing food. She and her kids don't want to eat the same things as you, and also, one adult and two kids (under 10yo) do not eat as much as three adults (you, s.o., teenager). Almost impossible to divide the grocery bill fairly in this situation.

I eat primarily at work,her 9 yr old wears bigger clothing than I do and the youngest sucks down milk like it was free.

Eat restaurant/takeout or food from home (groceries)? Anyway, her kids should probably be drinking 1% or higher milkfat, so maybe just divide milk too if they consume more.

I work in a hospital,most of my meals there are free or very cheap.Part of the problem I think is that we shop differently,on my week I get right out on Friday afternoon and sat morning and do the bulk of the household shopping,my food dollar is pretty much all spent in one fell swoop.I deduct specialty items from the bill like my coffee or personal care items, then tell her what I spent.She otoh,makes several little trips thruout the week,she'll come home and announce she just blew $50 but I notice bags containing diapers,doublers and wipes sitting there waiting to be carried to her rooms.We can't eat those things.

I think the way I'm going to approach this is to offer to sit down with her and make a fixed list of stable items we all agree on to be shared.We will continue to take turns doing this shopping but the receipt will be posted on the fridge with the agreed upon items circled.

We can then do our indivudal shopping at our own expense for our families.Special snack foods like cookies,chips can be kept in our separate floors of the house.Cooking will be done separately,with the exception for certain,mutually enjoyed communal meals that each of us will contribute food for.

 

[slycat]

1)Eat separate except on special days.
2)Split all grocery bills, hers and yours.

-end of story.

 

[Jzero]

she'll come home and announce she just blew $50 but I notice bags containing diapers,doublers and wipes sitting there waiting to be carried to her rooms.We can't eat those things.

Don't be so damned picky. Loads (no pun intended) of fiber and vitamin e there.

This is why I live alone (not that that is feasible for everyone).

I think everyone should just fend for themselves. It's not that your roommate is such a bad person, but she obviously doesn't have the discipline to match your shopping habits.

I went throught this on a smaller scale. My brother and I work together so we like to go in on lunch supplies - bread, lunch meats, salads, condiments.
At one point another guy asked if he could go in on it with us.
Except he only likes white bread (we prefer multigrain since it actually has some health benefits) and he only eats like balogna and American cheese. So we ended up having to buy a whole extra loaf of bread and extra cheese and stuff just to accommodate his bland tastes, which costs everybody more since we were splitting the cost evenly. And on his week he would just buy white bread, balogna and American cheese.

So we just had to tell him "no offense, but this isn't saving anybody anything. Let's do our own shopping from now on."

 

[Storm]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Bryophyte

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: Bryophyte
Sounds like it's time to stop sharing food. She and her kids don't want to eat the same things as you, and also, one adult and two kids (under 10yo) do not eat as much as three adults (you, s.o., teenager). Almost impossible to divide the grocery bill fairly in this situation.

I eat primarily at work,her 9 yr old wears bigger clothing than I do and the youngest sucks down milk like it was free.

Eat restaurant/takeout or food from home (groceries)? Anyway, her kids should probably be drinking 1% or higher milkfat, so maybe just divide milk too if they consume more.

I work in a hospital,most of my meals there are free or very cheap.Part of the problem I think is that we shop differently,on my week I get right out on Friday afternoon and sat morning and do the bulk of the household shopping,my food dollar is pretty much all spent in one fell swoop.I deduct specialty items from the bill like my coffee or personal care items, then tell her what I spent.She otoh,makes several little trips thruout the week,she'll come home and announce she just blew $50 but I notice bags containing diapers,doublers and wipes sitting there waiting to be carried to her rooms.We can't eat those things.

I think the way I'm going to approach this is to offer to sit down with her and make a fixed list of stable items we all agree on to be shared.We will continue to take turns doing this shopping but the receipt will be posted on the fridge with the agreed upon items circled.

We can then do our indivudal shopping at our own expense for our families.Special snack foods like cookies,chips can be kept in our separate floors of the house.Cooking will be done separately,with the exception for certain,mutually enjoyed communal meals that each of us will contribute food for.

I think you solved your situation by yourself. It would be a good idea for your roommate to start cooking on her own towards her healthy diet, instead of you doing the majority of the cooking it sounds like.

Definitely split the bill or divide appropriately the items you use equally. No sense in paying for milk if her kids drink it like water.

 

[erikistired]

yeah i think a sit down and splitting the food out between families is probably gonna be the best approach. that way you have food to eat and she doesn't have to feel like she's buying food plus eating out.

 

Personally, I think this is the best way to do it: YOU do the shopping every week, and she pays you for half of it. That's the only way to make it fair, since she obviously doesn't like shopping, and you obviously are the "provider" for the house.

 

[Chaotic42]

Dang, you're being ruled by bratty kids.

Buy your food, let her buy their food. Split up the kitchen. Charge them for your food that they eat.

Either that or tell them that they eat what they get or they go to bed hungry.

 

[huesmann]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
why dont both of you go shopping together every week..split the bill at the register

That would appear to be a good solution but another part of this issue is that we clearly have differing ideas as to what should be purchased.She goes on and on about how she likes our healthy diet and loves my cooking but then complains that her kids won't eat that food.I think it's not an issue that's going to be solved that easily.

Sounds like her kids need a good smacking. They eat, or they starve. Simple.

That, and you need to move out to a place without housemates. Or a 2nd fridge.

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: se7enty7
your dumb to do groceries that way. split 50/50.

edit:
OR, buy two fridges.

It's you're, Einstein.

 

[Willoughbyva]

I vote 2 fridges.

 

[plk21]

Simple. Just forget to buy groceries next week. When she complains, you can have a good discussion about realistic splitting of the expenses. 😉

 

[Red Dawn]

Easy, just buy food for your family and prepare it the way you like it. If they don't like it tough sh!t, more for you and your family. I bet the food would last a lot longer.

 

[79Blazer]

I'll add to the vote for 2 fridges. It may not be the MOST finacnially smart thing to do, but it'll save alot of greif. You can buy what you want for your SO and child, and she can get what she wants for hers. Then, if she ends up not buying enough it's her own damn fault.

 

[djNickb]

Originally posted by: fisher
i tried that (without the kids and SO) and it didn't work either. we ended up just getting our own food stuffs and leaving the other's stuff alone. not sure how well that'd work with that many ppl tho. sucks she's making this turn into such an issue. maybe it's time for a house meeting.

Yeah situations like these rarely work, I used to split food bills with roommates until one of my stoner roommates kept eating far more than the other two. After an experience like that just buying/eating your own groceries has been a much better experience for me.

 

[Thegonagle]

Originally posted by: Geekbabe
I'm considering offering to spilt the bill for milk,juice,soda,bread,cheese,produce and cat food from a fixed list that we write together.Then we'd each be responsible for buying,preparing our individual family's meal/snack food.

I think that's a pretty good idea.