National Enquirer: "Pervy Ted Cruz"

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kage69

Lifer
Jul 17, 2003
26,968
35,582
136
Cruz flung shit at a shit flinging factory.

Yup.


I'm not really surprised he's probably cheated/ing on his wife. Way more surprised it was apparently with women.



Family values coming home to roost, couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
 
Oct 16, 1999
10,490
4
0
I like BUSTed.

By the way, I've yet to see/hear mention of this in other media. If true, I wonder what's holding them back on this. Makes me wonder if this is typical Enquirer soggy kibble disguised as red meat.

Fun to pile in on Ted though. He's a Tea Party apparatchik that really deserves it.

Party of Family Values indeed.

The same thing that's holding them back from reporting that most of these clowns are plainly unfit for the offices they are campaigning for or even already hold. Narrative > truth.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,009
8,640
136
The juvenile part of me wants to say something like, "If true, Ted should have employed more Cruz Control."

But mostly, I'm just alarmed and a bit disgusted at how dirty and ugly this campaign season has been already, and we're still months out from the general. :(
 
Feb 10, 2000
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I hate to revel in this kind of thing, but Ted Cruz is such a repellent person, and his entire campaign has centered on appealing to evangelical voters, so there is clear hypocrisy. It seems very likely the National Enquirer has its ducks in a row (particularly given that the Washington Times has confirmed at least two of the women), so this issue is not going away. The idea of a hush payment to Fiorina is particularly interesting. In any case, even if the alternative is Donald Trump, I find Cruz the scariest of all of the existing candidates, so can't help but be pleased with this development.
 
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Feb 10, 2000
30,029
66
91
I like BUSTed.

By the way, I've yet to see/hear mention of this in other media. If true, I wonder what's holding them back on this. Makes me wonder if this is typical Enquirer soggy kibble disguised as red meat.

Fun to pile in on Ted though. He's a Tea Party apparatchik that really deserves it.

Party of Family Values indeed.

The John Edwards love child story broke the same way, as did the similar Jesse Jackson story. Most national media outlets don't want to break a story like this, and are wary of even reporting on it secondhand. That being said, unless the story is an outright falsehood (which I doubt - the NE actually has a solid pedigree over the last 25+ years of not publishing defamation), I expect Cruz will have to deal with it head-on, and will most likely have to either refuse to address it, saying it's a personal matter, or admit to it. Denying it will only feed the fire.
 

Linux23

Lifer
Apr 9, 2000
11,303
671
126
ding! ding! ding! he hit the nail on the head when he said Cruz talks like he's delivering lines out of movie. god i wish i could round house his ass and not go to jail and be sued :(

EDIT:Whoops, wrong Cruz thread.
 
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lopri

Elite Member
Jul 27, 2002
13,209
594
126
I guess messing wi Trumps wife is backfiring bad. He should have never even started at that level all he did was open up Pandora's box.

To be fair I do not think Cruz started it. It was some SuperPAC which ran ad featuring Melania Trump's nude. And it is plausible that Cruz had nothing to do with it considering the various anti-Duck factions in the GOP.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,854
17,365
136
Whether he started it or not, Cruz was a damn fool to engage Trump in a pissing contest.

Donald has a much bigger bladder. And better aim cuz he practices more.
 
Feb 10, 2000
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Well, Cruz has now issued a blanket denial - http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/ted-cruz-calls-tabloid-report-garbage-n545611 The language of his denial is comical and just . . . goofy. Evidently Roger Stone, the lone source quoted by name in the NE article, is colloquially called a "rat fucker," and Cruz alludes to that in the most awkward way possible.

Unless the story is totally false, which I doubt, this strikes me as a tactically questionable move, because it effectively motivates the Enquirer (and the Washington Times, which has confirmed the story) to reveal more about their sources.
 

woolfe9998

Lifer
Apr 8, 2013
16,188
14,090
136
Well, Cruz has now issued a blanket denial - http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/ted-cruz-calls-tabloid-report-garbage-n545611 The language of his denial is comical and just . . . goofy. Evidently Roger Stone, the lone source quoted by name in the NE article, is colloquially called a "rat fucker," and Cruz alludes to that in the most awkward way possible.

Unless the story is totally false, which I doubt, this strikes me as a tactically questionable move, because it effectively motivates the Enquirer (and the Washington Times, which has confirmed the story) to reveal more about their sources.

That's odd.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...-with-longtime-political-adviser-roger-stone/

That's an article from August of last year which says that Trump fired Stone.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,009
8,640
136
Well, Cruz has now issued a blanket denial - http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/ted-cruz-calls-tabloid-report-garbage-n545611 The language of his denial is comical and just . . . goofy. Evidently Roger Stone, the lone source quoted by name in the NE article, is colloquially called a "rat fucker," and Cruz alludes to that in the most awkward way possible.

Cruz: "Donald Trump May Be a Rat But I Have No Desire to Copulate With Him."

Cruz is creepy beyond belief. D:
 

brycejones

Lifer
Oct 18, 2005
25,988
23,784
136
The irony of Cruz calling Trump's manager a liar. This is the same turd bag who has Jeff Roe as a manager, who started a whisper campaign that a potential GOP candidate for governor in MO was jewish.
 

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,995
776
126
I refuse to believe any reasonably attractive woman would want to sleep with ted cruz.
 
Feb 16, 2005
14,023
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some of the comics on twitter have chimed in:

I'll try to pick some of the better ones
"The notion that @tedcruz is the zodiac killer is easier for my brain to process than 5 women had affairs w him. Bless their <3s." - Shannyn Moore

"National Inquirer reporter:'here are the pics of the #cruzsexscandal women.'
Nat'l Inquirer editor: 'Blur them. They've suffered enough' " - Johnny McNulty

"If @tedcruz were elected president his wife would be the sixth lady. #CruzSexScandal" - Cordie Mendoza

"If @tedcruz convinced five women to sleep with him, he's clearly a better negotiator than @realDonaldTrump. #CruzSexScandal" - CCSUNY

"Cruz prostitution scandal is much easier to believe than a Cruz consensual-sex-not-involving-exchange-of-money-or-favors scandal" - Dana Houle
 
Oct 16, 1999
10,490
4
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I think we can put any doubt behind us now:
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