Heya,
Don't worry about people telling you should have ECC RAM and enterprise controllers, etc. There are just as many using trash hardware and will tell you just to make sure you have redundancy on your data and that's likely good enough. You have to consider their perspective, a lot of people running FreeNAS/TrueNAS that camp on those forums are doing it not as a hobby but for an actual business so they need serious in depth knowledge of the OS and security, redundancy, etc. There are others who do it for home hobby type stuff, but they're few and far between and rarely just hang out on a forum like that talking about the OS all day unless they live & breathe it (which is not a hobbyist thing but more someone who works with it all day every day in real business).
Copious RAM is suggested because everything the OS does happens in the RAM, and RAM is faster. It's how it handles everything on slow hardware better. It's also how it handles checking data integrity while doing all that work so fast too. This is why ECC gets recommended, because flipping a bit while doing the work and after already verifying checksum integrity results in corrupt data. This is not a big deal for a home server with movies, music, pictures, etc. This is a huge deal for someone who's being paid to maintain a server for a business that relies on data integrity to be in business. So that's the perspective. If you have too little RAM, it will just perform slower, but it will work. It will load data to RAM, do the work, unload, reload data, etc. The more RAM you have, the less often this has to happen. All the OS systems/services will be loaded into RAM for fastest operation, which again, is why it will be suggested to have lots of RAM and ECC, etc. Basic services in FreeNAS/TrueNAS will take up over 2~3GB of memory instantly.
At the end of the day, just have redundancy on your data. I suggest mirrors over parity methods. HDD's are cheap for massive capacity. Mirrors are just so much easier to handle, repair (re-silver), faster, simpler. Learning this stuff, you need to keep it simple. Go too deep with parity and mess something up and you'll have fits knowing how to even recover your data without trashing it all in the process.
Very best,