Mystery: Why don't men get bloated?

[mrkun]

Please solve this conundrum.

 

[nageov3t]

who says they don't?

 

[eldorado99]

Because we fart and burp.

 

[ahenkel]

I was pretty bloated today I think I farted for 6 minutes straight. I felt like I needed a nap.

 

[Zorander]

Wut?

 

[cronos]

I'm bloated right now.

 

[AMCRambler]

Ate a taco salad and a volcano taco from taco bell last night. Felt bloated and gassy all mrning but couldnt fart or crap. Finally at 3pm i took a massive pudding shit and felt soooo much better.

 

[Crono]

Uh we do, it's bloating from food.

We don't get menstrual bloating, though, if this thread is inspired by Midol or something. At least I don't... I don't know about some of you weirdos

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Men don't get bloated if they avoid beer and fast food or beans... But if you do that, you aren't a real man. Ergo, if you don't get bloated, your man card is revoked.

 

[AznAnarchy99]

I get bloated especially after beer and food. It sucks because I have abs and it looks like this

 

[goog40]

I don't burp. Any carbonated drinks or beer makes me bloated.

 

[shortylickens]

Because we fart and burp.

:thumbsup:

:awe:

 

[William Gaatjes]

Some men do not get bloated because :
Because we actually enjoy our food and do not feel guilty about it after eating.
Because we know when to stop eating, treasuring the taste and joy while not over eating. This also ensures that the food still tastes great the next time. And allows for some men to eat the same dish for 2 days in a row without complaining. And prevents becoming over weight.
Because we do not have fluctuating hormone levels that makes us retain fluid or experience abdomen wide inflammation.

Because we fart as hell at the toilet.
I farted once so loud and long in the toilet, that i am sure i heard my neighbor through the common ventilation shaft : "Mother of God" in spanish... :biggrin:

 

[IndyColtsFan]

Because we fart wherever the hell we want as often and loud as we want.

FTFY.

 

[William Gaatjes]

FTFY.

Because we fart wherever the hell we want as often and loud as we want.

I do not agree with you. I do not fart in public. I am not a hippo at the zoo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQkATGaVZt8

Also, using the toilet makes it louder... :awe:
And prevents accidents... :thumbsup:

 

[William Gaatjes]

Imagine sitting in a restaurant at a table close to the restroom...

"Always seek a table away form the restroom in a restaurant !"
That should be a text on a Chinese fortune cookie.

 

[shocksyde]

If I eat something really salty I feel bloated for a while afterwards.

That reminds me... Need to pick of some Manpons on the way home.

 

[William Gaatjes]

If I eat something really salty I feel bloated for a while afterwards.

That reminds me... Need to pick of some Manpons on the way home.

manpons ?

I wish i had not looked that expression up ...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manpons

D:

 

[William Gaatjes]

Advertisement :

Manpons.. For that safe and secure farting in public...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=P1Flr7JhPow#t=52s

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

I get bloated and I fart and burp...

 

[skimple]

Men are either fat or not fat. We don't get to use excuses like "bloating".

 

[SandEagle]

currently taking: probiotics, Beano, Maalox, GasX, and Prilosec.

 

[jupiter57]

Men do get "bloated"!
We just don' go around pissing & moaning about it.

 

[lozina]

I get bloated sometimes especially after big feasts. Those are the times I gotta loosen my belt a few notches! The worst is when it is a feast with alot of people and I cant get up to 'relieve' myself often. Then I gotta hold in the gases and that's the worst...

 

[manimal]

Ate chipoltle last night and drank two beers.

Officially bloated.