My wife says that I was rude, what would you have done?

DietDrThunder

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
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I have to say this up front. I'm over 55, a grouchy guy with back issues, and my tolerance level for stupid is very low. Two weeks ago I started going to the gym to mainly work on my core and back muscles, and overall upper body strength. Last week I was talking with a trainer named Nick, a guy in his mid 30's, and looked to be in very good shape (my wife said she wouldn't mind him as her trainer), so I set up an appointment with him for yesterday for my first paid session ($35).

My wife and I go to the gym yesterday, and I show up at the front desk for my training session on time, and check in for my appointment. I don't know the reason why, but Kyle was unavailable. I asked to reschedule for next week, but the guy at the front desk said "I can find you another trainer, hold on a minute." He got on the phone and then told me that "Chrissie will be with you shortly." After about 5 minutes Chrissie shows up. She is in her late 20's, about 5' 2" tall, must weigh at least 300 pounds, and there isn't an ounce of muscle on this woman. I control the expressions on my face, introduce myself, and she walks me into the workout area. My initial reaction in my brain was "How the heck could this woman ever be hired as a fitness trainer", but I said to myself "Don't judge too quickly", and went on with the session.

I tell her what my primary focus is (back, core, and upper body), and she then walks me around to the various machines. She explains how the machines operate, but at first doesn't show me how they work. I then ask nicely if she could demonstrate how the machines work so I know that I'm not doing them improperly. Reluctantly, she tries to demonstrate the next 3 machines, but can barely operate them on the lowest weight setting, which is 10 pounds.

By this time I'm getting pissed. I stop the training session and then ask her to follow me back to the front desk. I immediately tell the guy that I want my money refunded for this session, because I don't need someone who can't do the machines, and only can tell me how they work. Chrissie then says "You are only saying this because I am a little overweight." I then said to Chrissie, "No, I tried to look passed your BIG weight issue, but you can't even operate the machines, and I don't feel confident that you are giving me proper guidance." Chrissie walks off in tears as my wife meets me at the front desk.

The guy behind the front desk said to me, "That was completely uncalled for." I told him to "Just shut up and give me a refund, or set me up an appointment with the original trainer Kyle." I got a refund.

On our way out of the gym, my wife told me that I was rude. I then explained what had happened, and again she said I was rude and should have handled it differently. I don't know, maybe I am a total ass, but from my perspective, even with hindsight, I don't know how I would have handled it any differently.

So you are now free to tell me what I did wrong and what you would have done in this situation.
 
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lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
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I'd have talked privately to the manager. No point in humiliating an innocent in person. She may not have been equipped for the job, but that's not an eviscerating offense. Of course, it'll be a cold day in hell before I'm found in any gym. I can find enough real work to do without doing pointless work.
 

DietDrThunder

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
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I'd have talked privately to the manager. No point in humiliating an innocent in person. She may not have been equipped for the job, but that's not an eviscerating offense. Of course, it'll be a cold day in hell before I'm found in any gym. I can find enough real work to do without doing pointless work.

1) I would not have mentioned her weight issues if she hadn't brought it up.
2) Even if she had been someone thin, I would have still had the same issues with someone that I'm paying for their services, not being able to operate the equipment.
3) I feel society has gone too far in accepting poor performance as the norm.
4) If a plumber, a handyman, or a mechanic does a poor job, do you let them skip by? How is this any different?

As far as working out at a gym, I have no choice since I sit behind a desk for 9 to 10 hours a day.
 
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lxskllr

No Lifer
Nov 30, 2004
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It went wrong by dragging her to the desk, and dressing her down in person. I give zero quarter assholes, but from your description, she wasn't an asshole. That's a management issue, and it should have been quietly talked about with management. She may have skills aside from operating machines that make her valuable to company, or maybe not. In any case, it's a management problem, not mine.
 

DigDog

Lifer
Jun 3, 2011
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You should have been paid to be her trainer.


Ok jokes aside, a trainer doesnt need to be fit, their job is to make sure you train correctly. Someone could lose a limb and still make a great trainer.

However realistically i do question the choice of hiring someone who evidently has no interest for the subject matter outside of work, when there are so many people who live for fitness.

Also, no fat chicks.
 
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NoCreativity

Golden Member
Feb 28, 2008
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I would have broached it similarly without referring to the weight. No need to point that out even if she did because it really had no bearing on the reason you were not happy with session.
 

slayer202

Lifer
Nov 27, 2005
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I'd be pissed too. Hopefully you have another gym in the area because clearly they can't be trusted to provide a decent service for you
 

DAPUNISHER

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ponyo

Lifer
Feb 14, 2002
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You were rude. You could've got that refund without humiliating the girl. I agree with lxskllr. The fault is with the management, not the girl. So you should've just taken it up with management.
 
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clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
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I think I agree with the others who said it was a management issue. Ideally you could've raised your objections with them and they would've taken action, or not, as they deem appropriate. You still could've got your refund or rescheduled with Nick (more likely, since you wouldn't have thrown her under the bus publicly).

But... oh well. Kinda rude but maybe she'll rethink her job. It doesn't seem like she'd be a very good trainer, honestly (though I also agree with DigDog that a trailer could be missing a limb and still be good; I don't think that's her though).
 

DietDrThunder

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
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So is an apology owed from me to Chrissie when I return to the gym?

I've already paid up front for a year membership, so it's not likely I'll switch gyms before the year is over.
 

K1052

Elite Member
Aug 21, 2003
47,421
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Gym was wrong to sub you a trainer that you didn't agree to or is a good fit for you. They owe you a refund and an apology.

You were wrong in how you interacted with the female trainer. You owe her an apology.
 

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
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I didn't see the reason to have her follow you to front desk but i understand the frustration especially with a bad back your frustration levels are pretty low to reach boiling
 

Genx87

Lifer
Apr 8, 2002
41,095
513
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I have to say this up front. I'm over 55, a grouchy guy with back issues, and my tolerance level for stupid is very low. Two weeks ago I started going to the gym to mainly work on my core and back muscles, and overall upper body strength. Last week I was talking with a trainer named Nick, a guy in his mid 30's, and looked to be in very good shape (my wife said she wouldn't mind him as her trainer), so I set up an appointment with him for yesterday for my first paid session ($35).

My wife and I go to the gym yesterday, and I show up at the front desk for my training session on time, and check in for my appointment. I don't know the reason why, but Nick was unavailable. I asked to reschedule for next week, but the guy at the front desk said "I can find you another trainer, hold on a minute." He got on the phone and then told me that "Chrissie will be with you shortly." After about 5 minutes Chrissie shows up. She is in her late 20's, about 5' 2" tall, must weigh at least 300 pounds, and there isn't an ounce of muscle on this woman. I control the expressions on my face, introduce myself, and she walks me into the workout area. My initial reaction in my brain was "How the heck could this woman ever be hired as a fitness trainer", but I said to myself "Don't judge too quickly", and went on with the session.

I tell her what my primary focus is (back, core, and upper body), and she then walks me around to the various machines. She explains how the machines operate, but at first doesn't show me how they work. I then ask nicely if she could demonstrate how the machines work so I know that I'm not doing them improperly. Reluctantly, she tries to demonstrate the next 3 machines, but can barely operate them on the lowest weight setting, which is 10 pounds.

By this time I'm getting pissed. I stop the training session and then ask her to follow me back to the front desk. I immediately tell the guy that I want my money refunded for this session, because I don't need someone who can't do the machines, and only can tell me how they work. Chrissie then says "You are only saying this because I am a little overweight." I then said to Chrissie, "No, I tried to look passed your BIG weight issue, but you can't even operate the machines, and I don't feel confident that you are giving me proper guidance." Chrissie walks off in tears as my wife meets me at the front desk.

The guy behind the front desk said to me, "That was completely uncalled for." I told him to "Just shut up and give me a refund, or set me up an appointment with the original trainer Nick." I got a refund.

On our way out of the gym, my wife told me that I was rude. I then explained what had happened, and again she said I was rude and should have handled it differently. I don't know, maybe I am a total ass, but from my perspective, even with hindsight, I don't know how I would have handled it any differently.

So you are now free to tell me what I did wrong and what you would have done in this situation.

That was rude but I also appreciated your being blunt. The whole thing was a circle jerk. Maybe if more of us didn't pussyfoot around with this crap, stuff like this would cause it to happen less.

As for an apology to the trainer. That is a tough call imo. You didnt bring up her weight. She did. And your response said her weight had nothing to do with your opinion. It was her inability to do any of the machines they was demonstrating. So why is providing her with appropriate feedback she solicited on why you are dissatisfied cause for an apology?
 

SKORPI0

Lifer
Jan 18, 2000
18,432
2,348
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Fat not fit trainer she is, not sure what image that gym is trying to project by hiring "Chrissie" for that job. How is 5'2" and 300 lbs. "a little overweight" according to her?
BMI chart shows that she is very severely obese.
https://www.carinsurancedata.org/calculators/body-mass/62/300

It was your session and your expectations were not met. But if I was ever in that situation I would have discreetly asked for a refund, so as not to fat shame that fitness trainer.
 

repoman0

Diamond Member
Jun 17, 2010
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Ridiculously rude. The whole thing could have been solved after a "Can I speak with your manager in private"

That said, how is she a trainer?
 
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momeNt

Diamond Member
Jan 26, 2011
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I don't believe she was 5-2 300lbs and a trainer in a gym.

I think some people when they get past the age of 50 completely overexaggerate stories as well.

I can maybe believe it if it was a family owned gym and this was like their daughter or something. No franchise is going to hire her, nor would she ever dare apply to be a trainer either.
 
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repoman0

Diamond Member
Jun 17, 2010
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I don't believe she was 5-2 300lbs and a trainer in a gym.

I think some people when they get past the age of 50 completely overexaggerate stories as well.

I can maybe believe it if it was a family owned gym and this was like their daughter or something. No franchise is going to hire her, nor would she ever dare apply to be a trainer either.

Yeah that does sound a little fishy. 300 lbs at 5'2" is literally a sphere. If she was really that overweight she probably couldn't have even gotten on and off the machines.
 

DietDrThunder

Platinum Member
Apr 6, 2001
2,262
326
126
I don't believe she was 5-2 300lbs and a trainer in a gym.

I think some people when they get past the age of 50 completely overexaggerate stories as well.

I can maybe believe it if it was a family owned gym and this was like their daughter or something. No franchise is going to hire her, nor would she ever dare apply to be a trainer either.
Well I misspelled her name. It is spelled Crissy and not Chrissie. I was hoping to find a photo on their website, but nope. I did find out by looking at the website that she is the Sports and Fitness Manager. CERA website.

I'll see if I can find a photo somewhere.
 

FeuerFrei

Diamond Member
Mar 30, 2005
9,152
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Well I misspelled her name. It is spelled Crissy and not Chrissie. I was hoping to find a photo on their website, but nope. I did find out by looking at the website that she is the Sports and Fitness Manager. CERA website.

I'll see if I can find a photo somewhere.
That's reassuring. Otherwise you'd have to wonder if some YouTube channel set up a faux-trainer scenario to film some lolz.