My wife rolled the car

[Spook]

So, Friday night, my wife called me, and I had to come pick her up from the accident scene. She was going a little fast around a curve, and swerved to miss an animal in the road, and ended up hitting a tree, and rolling the car over. She was able to get out of the wreck with a few bruises, and scratches and is fine. The car however is totaled, 2003 V6 accord.

She is 30yrs old, and just got her license back in the middle of May. She's been doing ok, but she is not used to controlling her speed yet, she takes curves far to fast, and is getting way to close to other objects while driving(in parking lots and such). She's has added few scratches on the car before the accident.

So, she needs a car to get to work, and I had been considering what to get. I was looking at something like an 06 Civic. She really likes the big digital speedometer, and the feel of the car. Now, I've started to reconsider, and thinking she should get something a little older, maybe a 01-03 Civic. Something she can practice in more before we get her a nicer, 15k+ car. She did not like that, one bit, and is quite upset that she can't get 'her' car(the 06 Civic)... I tried to rationalize with her, and even negotiated that if she can keep the other car scratch free for a year, we'll get her a nicer vehicle. Its still a no go, and I'm stuck in an impasse with her.

I know this is a logic meets emotional argument, but I wanted to know what some of you guys/ladies think.

Edited for a car pic for your pleasure :

Not very good picture, but you get the idea

Another from that night

Next Day, this is where she hit the tree

A little bit of her in this one.

Notes:
-Wife totals car but is fine
-Wife is inexperience with driving, and wants expensive car as replacement
-I want to get a less expensive car for now to practice(1yr or so), and if she does well, get the car she wants later.

 

[JS80]

did it Spook you?

good to hear she's ok.

 

[TehMac]

She got her license "back." don't tell me she was DUI.

here's a solution: ask her how she expects to have an expensive car when she totaled one that is easier to control.

This is why we need to revert back to wife beatings. Things were easier then.

 

[zerocool84]

Whoever is paying for the car is going to make the decision. If you're paying for it, get her whatever you want. If she's paying for it, let her get whatever you want. Either way she shouldn't get a nice car. She really needs to learn to drive more carefully. Usually when you just start out driving, you start slow. She's going fast.

 

[Tiamat]

can she take driving classes? I figure if you try to teach her, she might feel "threatened" as if you were back-seat driving. The only way to get better is to practice driving with a learning attitude while correcting mistakes early as to not form habits. If you think you can give her helpful pointers and she would learn from you, perhaps that would be a good opportunity to help her to become a better driver.

I'm glad she is OK, but it is one of those lightbulb moments where hopefully she will be receptive to developing better driving habits whichever way she chooses.

As for car, I dunno, you both are adults. It is a balance between getting a beater car that won't cost much to maintain and a car she wants to actually drive (and feels comfortable driving). Both are very important (comfort with driving and low maintenance).

 

[herm0016]

maybe a day long defensive driving class? something with a skid truck. I took one for work and it was great fun, and i learned a little too. could boost her confidence also.

i think your option is the logical one, if she really is not that good of a driver you would not want to hurt a much more expensive car.

 

[Farang]

she's not fine if she's totaled

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: TehMac
She got her license "back." don't tell me she was DUI.

this. details are missing on why she lost her license previously.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: TehMac
She got her license "back." don't tell me she was DUI.

this. details are missing on why she lost her license previously.

Yup, considering the way she just crashed this one.

 

[Spook]

No DUI, no charges filed. She was driving solo, coming home from work. She never lost it previously... She is a new driver...

She has done some classes, and has her license. I'm hoping she is having one of those lightbulb moments crashing the car and all. But even out on her test drives with a couple of cars, I wasn't feeling any change in her attitude, still taking curves to fast, and not controlling her speed.

As far as paying for it, we share our finances, so its not me, and its not her... its our decision. Perhaps that makes it more difficult right about now.

 

[Dr. Detroit]

Glad to hear she is fine.

Before she kills someone else or herself she should be taken off the road!

Time for her to get a bus schedule.

 

[SonnyDaze]

Um....good to hear she's okay.

 

[fuzzybabybunny]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: TehMac
She got her license "back." don't tell me she was DUI.

this. details are missing on why she lost her license previously.

OP probably meant "She's 30 and just got her license, back then in the middle of May," which would explain why she's still not used to driving and controlling her speed.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: fuzzybabybunny

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: TehMac
She got her license "back." don't tell me she was DUI.

this. details are missing on why she lost her license previously.

OP probably meant "She's 30 and just got her license, back then in the middle of May," which would explain why she's still not used to driving and controlling her speed.

yeh, he clarified. the wording was confusing.

sounds like she needs more practice : /
and having those animals pop out in front of you while you are going a little too fast around a curve is the pitts.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: Spook
No DUI, no charges filed. She was driving solo, coming home from work. She never lost it previously... She is a new driver...

She has done some classes, and has her license. I'm hoping she is having one of those lightbulb moments crashing the car and all. But even out on her test drives with a couple of cars, I wasn't feeling any change in her attitude, still taking curves to fast, and not controlling her speed.

As far as paying for it, we share our finances, so its not me, and its not her... its our decision. Perhaps that makes it more difficult right about now.

Then just tell her that she's getting a cheap car cus she needs to learn. She obviously drives recklessly cus you said she was driving too fast, has knicked things, and gets too close to stuff. She's driving like a teenager and a teenager shouldn't get a new car.

 

[LilPima]

If she's so confident that she won't mess it up, she should have no problem driving an older car for a year. Just make sure it has some AC for summertime.

 

[AstroManLuca]

So let me get this straight:

1. She's a brand new driver with as much experience driving as a 16-year-old.
2. She's already totaled a car that was still worth $10k+.
3. She wants you to buy her another expensive car.
4. She's pissed that you're hesitating at buying one.

Where, exactly, did she get the notion that you owe her anything? She ruined your car and should be fucking ecstatic that you're willing to let it slide and get another one so she can keep driving.

Did her parents spoil her rotten growing up? Is there other information you're leaving out? What's the deal? Because as it stands now, her position sounds about as reasonable as that of a spoiled teenager, not a 30-year-old woman.

 

[Spook]

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca
So let me get this straight:

1. She's a brand new driver with as much experience driving as a 16-year-old.
2. She's already totaled a car that was still worth $10k+.
3. She wants you to buy her another expensive car.
4. She's pissed that you're hesitating at buying one.

Where, exactly, did she get the notion that you owe her anything? She ruined your car and should be fucking ecstatic that you're willing to let it slide and get another one so she can keep driving.

Did her parents spoil her rotten growing up? Is there other information you're leaving out? What's the deal? Because as it stands now, her position sounds about as reasonable as that of a spoiled teenager, not a 30-year-old woman.

That about sums it up for me.... she on the other hand has her side of the story, and She wants to post this, but after dinner...

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: Spook

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca
So let me get this straight:

1. She's a brand new driver with as much experience driving as a 16-year-old.
2. She's already totaled a car that was still worth $10k+.
3. She wants you to buy her another expensive car.
4. She's pissed that you're hesitating at buying one.

Where, exactly, did she get the notion that you owe her anything? She ruined your car and should be fucking ecstatic that you're willing to let it slide and get another one so she can keep driving.

Did her parents spoil her rotten growing up? Is there other information you're leaving out? What's the deal? Because as it stands now, her position sounds about as reasonable as that of a spoiled teenager, not a 30-year-old woman.

That about sums it up for me.... she on the other hand has her side of the story, and She wants to post this, but after dinner...

Side of what story??? She totaled her car cus she was driving too fast, has damaged her car before that, and is very inexperienced. No one like that deserves a new car. You sure found a keeper :thumbsup:

 

[jamesbond007]

What kind of animal did your wife try to miss?

OP, she sounds very irresponsible and I don't think she should be driving anything fancy. Get her an older (late 90s) truck - something that's a bit more resilient. I'd recommend her a tank, but I don't think that will work out so well with your local DOT.

Drive safe!

 

[Red Squirrel]

Get her something like this one. It's also more environmentally friendly. It does not take curves that easily though so you'll want to really have her learn to control her speed on curves.

 

[Leros]

You need to tell her just to hit small animals. You can kill yourself trying to swerve around a rabbit or you can just run it over. If its a person or a larger animal like a deer then that is different.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: Leros
You need to tell her just to hit small animals. You can kill yourself trying to swerve around a rabbit or you can just run it over. If its a person or a larger animal like a deer then that is different.

Or just tell her not to speed on turns.

 

[zinfamous]

Something she can practice in more before we get her a nicer, 15k+ car. She did not like that, one bit, and is quite upset that she can't get 'her' car(the 06 Civic)... I tried to rationalize with her, and even negotiated that if she can keep the other car scratch free for a year, we'll get her a nicer vehicle.

I somewhat agree with you, but I had to :laugh:, as it sounds like the kind of deal you make with a 16 year-old daughter.

 

[Spook]

Originally posted by: zerocool84

Originally posted by: Spook

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca
So let me get this straight:

1. She's a brand new driver with as much experience driving as a 16-year-old.
2. She's already totaled a car that was still worth $10k+.
3. She wants you to buy her another expensive car.
4. She's pissed that you're hesitating at buying one.

Where, exactly, did she get the notion that you owe her anything? She ruined your car and should be fucking ecstatic that you're willing to let it slide and get another one so she can keep driving.

Did her parents spoil her rotten growing up? Is there other information you're leaving out? What's the deal? Because as it stands now, her position sounds about as reasonable as that of a spoiled teenager, not a 30-year-old woman.

That about sums it up for me.... she on the other hand has her side of the story, and She wants to post this, but after dinner...

Side of what story??? She totaled her car cus she was driving too fast, has damaged her car before that, and is very inexperienced. No one like that deserves a new car. You sure found a keeper :thumbsup:

whoa, whoa here, lets not take this to that level. She has chosen not to be a driver for the past 10yrs, and that is fine. We used to live close to work for her, now we live further out, and she need to get herself to work.

She is a sweet woman... but well yeah... it is what it is.