She looks so cute, too... why'd she go and throw her life away like that?
I guess it's her life, but she doesn't understand how much she is hurting you and everyone she knew.
I guess it's her life, but she doesn't understand how much she is hurting you and everyone she knew.
I simply don't believe you can help someone that doesn't want to be helped. Unless she asks for your help and really wants to turn her life around, nothing you do will help. She has to first hit bottom herself and realize that she can't continue on that path. Then she'll reach out for help, you can make sure you provide her help when she's ready.
As asked before, how close are you to her? She's 21, so she at least thinks she knows what she's doing. Your best bet would be to have a heart felt conversation with her, provided she respects your opinion. When you have this talk, try to get to know her better, what makes her tick, what she is up to and why she is doing it. Sometimes people just feel as though they don't have very many options and are just going along with what they feel is the best option. Provide her with better options. In order for you to do this, thought, you have to understand what makes her tick. What you think is better for her, might not be the same as what she thinks. But one things for sure, nobody's Plan A includes living on the street.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,528
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There is nothing you can do to help her. She needs to hit rock bottom I guess and want to help herself.
My sister and I were really close (age difference of 2 years), but we grew apart over the past year as she started doing these drugs and hanging out with this guy that she left with. I also moved to Boston 5 years ago to go to college, and she stayed in the PA/DE area. My options are to go to Hawaii and work on a month to month basis (they understand the situation with my sister), or move back to Newark, DE. I have been interviewing with a small R&D company there.
It is a hard choice --obviously Hawaii is great, but I really love Julie and I think she's about the only person I would consider doing this for. Yesterday I was thinking of taking the Hawaii job, today I am thinking I should move back to Delaware and try to see her every couple days, maybe volunteer at one of the Friendship or Mission houses so I can get to know the area and the people better.
It is a hard choice --obviously Hawaii is great, but I really love Julie and I think she's about the only person I would consider doing this for. Yesterday I was thinking of taking the Hawaii job, today I am thinking I should move back to Delaware and try to see her every couple days, maybe volunteer at one of the Friendship or Mission houses so I can get to know the area and the people better.
I've called and talked to various people -- the Wilmington Police, mental hospitals, the homeless shelters. I don't think she can be admitted as a ward of the state -- she consciously made this choice and tries to defend it. She said her life was veering off course, and ever since she met this guy she is back on track(!).
Up to a point.
You don't destroy your life trying to save hers ... and believe me, you can. At some point, on some level she chose this life. She needs to make the choice to move past it, and she'll likely need help doing that. But she still has to make the choice.
she could be destroying two lives, just tell her this. that might shock her system if she can have compassion towards you. (maybe drugs affecting her so she might not)
This may sound extreme, but if it were my sister, and she just wouldnt listen, I might get desperate and kidnap her. I'd take her away from that area to your parents or a loved one's house and keep her there against her will until she goes through withdrawl. Hopefully, after that crazy ordeal, she will realize what mistake she was making and she will thank you.
Like I said, an extreme action to take, but non the less, one to consider when it's your own sister.
Like I said, an extreme action to take, but non the less, one to consider when it's your own sister.
Why is she so reluctant to stay on the streets? I mean, compared to the kind of life she would lead back home, she prefers to stay on the streets...
Is there something / someone whom she hates strongly in her home? Is there any reason why she left without saying anything?
Is there someone she likes strongly in your house / any friends? You can take one of them with you to convince her.
Best of luck my friend, you will need it. Your sister is indeed lucky to have a brother like you by her side... too bad that she cannot distinguish between the right and the wrong.
Is there something / someone whom she hates strongly in her home? Is there any reason why she left without saying anything?
Is there someone she likes strongly in your house / any friends? You can take one of them with you to convince her.
Best of luck my friend, you will need it. Your sister is indeed lucky to have a brother like you by her side... too bad that she cannot distinguish between the right and the wrong.
I told her that our Mom tried to kill herself while she was missing and we all thought she was dead. This is close to the truth, my mom had a knife and kept saying that she wanted to die, and why wouldnt we let her. I called my Mom while I was with Julie and put her on the phone with her for awhile. Her response was why did she do that, I'm FINE!, I'm staying with this guy and my friends, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. She did not feel any remorse for anything.
Here's a link to the Intervention show on A&E, I've watched this show a few times and it seems to work, don't know if she is that far into it or not. But it may help.
http://www.aetv.com/intervention/int_participate.jsp
http://www.aetv.com/intervention/int_participate.jsp
Anyone who is 'street-wise' about Wilmington, and local, I'd be willing to pay you some money if you'd help me out this weekend in trying to locate her again. I'm planning on going around to the homeless shelters and asking people around the Rodney square area if they've seen her lately.
That sucks man. Good to see you doing the right thing. I don't have any advice, just a wish of good luck
has she always had problems, maybe figuring out what has driven her to drugs and the streets might help.
you probably need to be more extreme, maybe kidnap her and force her to detox at that cabin under close supervision. but having no experience in this i don't know maybe you need someone with medical knowledge involved while she is there.
you probably need to be more extreme, maybe kidnap her and force her to detox at that cabin under close supervision. but having no experience in this i don't know maybe you need someone with medical knowledge involved while she is there.
the sad thing is that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. All the forced rehab in the world won't help if she is going to continue her distructive behaviours.
where are your parents in all of this?
where are your parents in all of this?
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