He probably didn't know that you have to restart the game in order to apply new settings.
BF3's graphics are definitely pretty, even on low settings. To me, BF3 is the most fluid game I have played in a while. The overall experience - the sound, the lighting, the animations, the gameplay itself - all superb.
How about waiting until the game is released and see if it's worth spending hundreds of dollars on? Not only whether it's any good (beta was disappointing) but whether the graphics turn out to be worthy of such an expensive upgrade (ultra settings not even working in beta?)
if you feel you have to play on Low settings with the GTX260 you're not going to be able to play Ultra with any current single GPU @ 1080p.