My parents have separate finances. Any else?

[Locut0s]

My father is the primary bread winner of the family but isn't very good at saving money, he likes to spend money on gadgets, books, CDs and the like. Until more recently my mother did not have a lot in the way of savings but she has always been the penny pincher. She also has the worst job of the two (wroked at 7-11 for about 15 years where as my dad teaches at a college). Recently my mother got some money from her side of the family and has invested it in real estate. In order for them to get along they decided to separate their finances as completely as they could, otherwise they would always argue about money. From my point of view they are both at extreme ends of the spectrum, my dad wastes too much money, my mom can't even spent a dime without worrying usually. As for retirement I'm not sure how they will work things out, my mother probably now has enough personal savings to have enough for a meagre retirement, my father may have enough also for a meagre retirement if he stop spending the minute he retires.

Anyone else have family issues like this?

 

[mugs]

No... I think that's bad. My wife and I treat every dollar we have as OUR money, not mine or hers.

 

[akshatp]

My wife treats everything I have as hers, and everything she has as hers...

It works out great for her!

LOL j/k We treat our income as OUR income... Although she is currently unemployed...

 

[kranky]

I think it makes things a lot harder when a married couple keeps separate finances, but for some people it works. Sounds like the OP's parents got to that point out of desperation, but if that solves the problem, good for them.

 

[radioouman]

We have been married for 4.5 years and our's are seperate. We are each responsible for certain bills.

 

[Super56K]

OP, your dad is a selfish turd. In marriage you become ONE. It is not a joint venture.

 

[vi edit]

The concept of it just seems completely foreign to me. At that point why not just sleep in seperate beds/rooms and just consider yourselves roomates.

Like Kranky said though, if it works, I guess more power to them.

 

[PowerEngineer]

Well, it's certainly best if a married couple are of similar enough minds to make financial decisions jointly. That was certainly the intention I had when we married years ago.

It took several expensive lessons for me to realize that my wife just isn't someone who I can entrust with all the family money. She had an unfortunate tendancy to spend everything we had in our joint checking account, so I was often forced to dip into savings to pay monthly bills. I tried for years to reason with her, to get her to take responsibility for budgeting and saving -- but she just couldn't do it. I finally had to admit defeat several years ago when she spent the $4,000 we had earmarked for a planned summer vacation.

As the "bread winner", I started depositing my checks into a separate checking/savings account that is in my name only. I pay all the regular household bills. I put $1000/month in her checking account for cloths/medical expenses for her and our three kids (as well as some "fun" stuff). She still puts another $200+/month on our VISA and regularly bounces checks.

We still have arguments over money, but at least now I can make sure we'll be able to help our kids (some) with college expenses and be reasonably comfortable after I retire. I'm pretty sure that we couldn't have held our marriage together if I hadn't seized financial control. It's certainly not the ideal way for a married couple to deal with finances, but it's the best workable way I can find for us.

Interestingly enough, she originally insisted on keeping her own bank accounts separate from ours. It turns out that her parents also had separate financial arrangements; only her mother's name appeared on the deed to their house!

 

[chuckywang]

How to they file taxes? Jointly?

 

[QurazyQuisp]

Most of my parents money is in joint accounts, but my dad makes several times more money than my mother (She makes a very decent living as well, Head of her department) They both have a small percentage (equal percentage for both) of their income in separate bank accounts that they can spend freely. My mom is a penny pincher, and doesn't spend it, my dad isn't and spends it.

 

[Rage187]

My wife and I keep separate finances even though we each have access to the other's account; but all the big bills are paid out of my account. Just easier for us.

One of the reasons is she is a stickler for balancing the check books and since I use online payments and paypal, money comes and goes and it saves me from having to tell her anytime money got moved around.

 

[liluqt]

My brother and his wife have separate finances. She pays the mortgage bill and he pays all of the utilities. It's strange though when either one of them have to "borrow" money from the other just to make a purchase. In my opinion you should be able to combine your income without worrying about the spouse's financial decisions regarding the money... but of course, that is in an ideal marriage in an ideal world =p

 

[Rage187]

Originally posted by: liluqt
My brother and his wife have separate finances. She pays the mortgage bill and he pays all of the utilities. It's strange though when either one of them have to "borrow" money from the other just to make a purchase. In my opinion you should be able to combine your income without worrying about the spouse's financial decisions regarding the money... but of course, that is in an ideal marriage in an ideal world =p

not an issue of trust, it's just easier to work with 2 decks of 26 rather than 1 deck of 52.

 

[allisolm]

Originally posted by: akshatp
My wife treats everything I have as hers, and everything she has as hers...

It works out great for her!

LOL j/k We treat our income as OUR income... Although she is currently unemployed...

Exactly as it should be! It works out great for me also, although I am the one who handles all the finances, pays all the bills, invests the money, keeps track of where everything is, what it's doing and how much is where. We share accounts for the most part, although we each have some things in one name only for tax and/or business purposes.

 

[Vegitto]

My parents have separate finances, and treats my dad's money as theirs and her money as her's. She's also a real penny pincher, and anything bought for anyone else is usually presented by my mother as 'her' gift, while my dad pays for it and doesn't get any credit for it.

Oh, well..

 

[skyking]

We have seperate accounts but all accounts are in both names.
We have different styles, but my wife has learned I am just as frugal as she is. We have been merging it more and more over the years, it has been an interesting process

 

[shadow9d9]

Separate finances here. Much much easier to budget