My neigborhood is starting to worry me...

Jan 18, 2001
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The Police Report:


RELEASE DETAILS FOR CASE# 2006-37321: Animal Complaint - Disturbance
Case Date:04/07/06 Case Time: 4:45 PM
Release Date:04/18/06 Release Time: 7:18 AM
Released By: PIO Michael Hanson
Address 5800 block of Barton Rd
Arrested person/suspect
Victim/Injuries
Details On 4/7/06 at approximately 4:45 p.m. two Madison Police Officers were dispatched to a residence in the 5800 block of Barton Rd for a motion detector alarm. The officers observed that one of the front windows was broken out, yet the rest of the exterior was secure. As officers entered the home they heard a noise in the kitchen. As they approached the dark kitchen, an enormous bird flew at them and it turned out to be a wild turkey.
Officers came out of the house to compose themselves of what they learned . . . a viscous wild turkey was tormenting the house. Officers reached an Animal Control Officer who stated that there have been a number of wild turkey complaints in Madison as it was mating season. Animal Control advised to get a large blanket and coax the turkey from behind into leaving out the door. That failed. The turkey was standing in the corner of the room with its beak pressed into a corner and it didn?t appear to be injured. Now the bird was pecking its beak into the corner, relentlessly. The officers obtained a small cup of water and threw it on the turkey?s head, but it didn?t move, only stopped pecking. Officers then arranged furniture in the room to funnel the turkey out the door. That failed because the turkey ran down the funnel, but continued upstairs. The turkey went behind a couch in the study upstairs. The officer did not want to continue to have the turkey damage the room to the large extent it had downstairs, so the officer used a taser to subdue it. The first shock to the back of the turkey only froze it in place. The turkey then flew around and broke the light fixture. A second deployment of the taser worked as the turkey flew down the hallway, stairs and out the front door.

From the local paper:

Cops Zap Turkey With Taser

Wild Bird Is Rousted From Home Here
The Capital Times :: FRONT :: A1
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Steven Elbow The Capital Times
A wayward turkey created havoc after smashing through a window of a home on the city's southwest side, eventually prompting the police to resort to a Taser to get the bird to leave.

Officers Chad Joswiak and Daniel Borth were called to the home at about 4:45 p.m. April 7 after motion detectors set off an alarm.

Steve Hird, the son of the couple who own the home, said the officers found a nearly 2-foot-wide hole in the 24-inch-by-50-inch window, "smack dab in the middle." The bird flew at enough force to go through two panes of glass and hurtle through thick drapes, Hird said. The glass spray stretched for about 15 feet inside the house.

"It's just hard to believe you could come in with that much force, through a window and a storm window, and not kill the bird," he said.

Hird's parents -- who asked not to be identified our of fears their home might become a target for burglars -- were vacationing in Forida, so the officers called Steve to let them in.

His wife, Sue, showed up first, walked into the kitchen and spotted the big bird. The bird, in turn, spotted her, unfolded its wings and flew at her.

"You just hear this fluttering," Steve Hird said. "She screamed."

The officers told her to run for it, and they went outside to ponder their next move.

According to police spokesman Mike Hanson, the officers called an animal control officer, who told them it was turkey mating season and the city was rife with complaints about misbehaving birds. They were busy with other calls, Hanson said. The officers were on their own.

Meantime, Steve Hird and another officer arrived.

Following a suggestion by the animal control officer, the officers tried using a blanket from behind to coax the bird out the door. It didn't work.

The turkey resolutely stood its ground in a corner, pecking at the wall. One of them threw a cup of water on its head, which stopped the pecking, but the bird didn't move.

They rearranged the furniture, hoping to fashion a funnel that would lead the bird out the door. They watched hopefully as the bird made its way down the path, then with dismay as it ignored the door and headed for a chandelier upstairs, leaving blood splotches on the ceiling but not damaging the light. Then it ran down the upstairs hallway and took refuge behind a futon.

Mindful of the damage already done to the home, Joswiak tried to end the ordeal by zapping the bird with a Taser. It had an effect, but not the desired one -- the turkey flew up and broke a ceiling light.

Hird said the wing span of the bird was between 4 1/2 and 5 feet.

"It turns from what doesn't look that huge to a monster," he said. "I cowered. I ran, and the other police ran, down the hallway."

Joswiak again got a clear shot and fired the Taser a second time. It's still unclear if the darts penetrated the bird's feathers.

"Maybe it stunned it, but it didn't look like it," Hird said.

At any rate, the bird had had enough. With the second jolt it flew down the hallway, down the stairs and out the front door.

Hird believes that mating season had something to do with the bird's flight through the window.

"It's mating season," he said. "It probably saw its reflection in the window."

Hird said he and his wife were able to move some valuables out of the bird's path during the ordeal. It was still uncertain how much damage it caused, but he said it could have been much worse. If the motion detector hadn't alerted the security company, the turkey could have been in the house for days.

"If they didn't have a security system it probably would have destroyed the place."


Cliffies:
1) Turkey flew through a neighbor's window
2) Cops could not catch it so they tasered it


 
Jun 18, 2000
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His wife, Sue, showed up first, walked into the kitchen and spotted the big bird. The bird, in turn, spotted her, unfolded its wings and flew at her.

"You just hear this fluttering," Steve Hird said. "She screamed."
Now that's comedy.:D
 

badmouse

Platinum Member
Dec 3, 2003
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Originally posted by: HomeBrewerDude

Hird believes that mating season had something to do with the bird's flight through the window.

"It's mating season," he said. "It probably saw its reflection in the window."

This turkey should post on ATOT. He'd find a lot of sympathy here.