My mother doesn't take care of herself

manlymatt83

Lifer
Oct 14, 2005
10,051
44
91
.... its JUST not fair.

About a year ago I started getting a lot of health problems. I was overweight, out of shape, and had a lot of my mother's genes (she's been un healthy for years).

I decided to do something about it, and I lost 60 pounds and started working out / cardio / lifting every day. Even then, I still give myself health issues (like recently, I was in the hospital with almost acute renal failure with Rhabdomylosis for working out TOO hard apparently).

My mom complains how she takes 25 pills per day, yet she is at least 150 pounds overweight, does nothing to try to lose any, sits around all day, eats potato chips and McDonalds (and I yell at her and she gets mad when I go to wawa instead and get us chicken sandwiches, which aren't any better, but a little better than a McDonalds cheese whatever). She's gained about 20 pounds in the past 3 months, yet she still makes us feel bad when they find a new health issue.

Its just frustrating. I love my mother, but she yells at me for many things, yet all I'm doing is trying to stay as healthy as I can.

EDIT: I do not live with my parents, so no "move outs" are needed. I am staying here temporarily until my new apartment is ready, and I lived in an apartment for 5 years before this.
 

upsciLLion

Diamond Member
Feb 21, 2001
5,947
1
81
If your mother isn't willing to help herself, I suggest you save yourself the time and trouble and stop trying to help her.
 

zebano

Diamond Member
Jun 15, 2005
4,042
0
0
Originally posted by: upsciLLion
If your mother isn't willing to help herself, I suggest you save yourself the time and trouble and stop trying to help her.

Good Answer!
 

DasFox

Diamond Member
Sep 4, 2003
4,668
46
91
Everyone wants love, attention and help, it's just that they've given up on themselves and need someone and you have to understand this and be patient, forgiving and understanding, and LISTEN to their wants and needs and try to find a way, there is always one.

In the end no one wants to suffer.

mjuszczak get these books and at least read them to her, work them slowly into her life, reading to her little by little or if she doesn't want you to read to her, then read them yourself and just put these positive suggestions in her ears, telling her these things slowly little by little over and over, giving her positive re-enforcement for her life.

Most people just need to be led back to the path of life is all, so go slow, and in love and one day you'll lead her home, with your HEART!

http://www.authorhouse.com/BookStore/ItemDetail~bookid~36086.aspx
http://www.bordersstores.com/search/tit...+Thinking&mediaType=1&srchType=Keyword

And if Mom doesn't like to read then get this tape.
http://www.bordersstores.com/search/tit...+Thinking&mediaType=1&srchType=Keyword

ALOHA


Love is quick to listen, slow to anger, and always humble in heart
 

WA261

Diamond Member
Aug 28, 2001
4,631
0
0
Sounds like my mom. Always on a diet, but eats at MCds' all the time with her fat ass daughter. Takes like 50 diff pills..prob needs none of them. Sleeps all day. House is a wreck. Car is the same. It is sad she is that way, but nothing I can do about it. When I lived there I was the one who cleaned the house, did the dishes etc...their fat pig daughter does nothing. She is going to turn out jsut like my mom.
 

wheresmybacon

Diamond Member
Sep 10, 2004
3,899
1
76
if she continues her current lifestyle, does she think she's going to get better?

break it down for her in a way that won't come off as offensive. let her know you love her and you want her to be around for a while. you see where i'm going with this. you're doing great setting a good example with the improvements you've made in your own life...after you've made that example and made your feelings known, there's not much more you can do. you can't help those who do not want to be helped.
 

FoBoT

No Lifer
Apr 30, 2001
63,084
15
81
fobot.com
it is her life, there isn't really anything you can do

:music:
Ill say it again in the land of the free
Use your freedom of choice
Freedom of choice

Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom of choice!
:music:
 

Maxspeed996

Senior member
Dec 9, 2005
848
0
0
I'll comment here. And only because I'm in a similar situation. Except , I'm healty, and have been. But my mother has been on disability for fybromyalgia , and other issues with her back..her knees are bad , stomach problems. Migraines 3-4 days a week...and she's bed ridden in pain most of the time.
It makes me sick because I see my exe's grandfather who is in his 80's and jogs 5 miles every day.
My mom seems to get worse and worse all the time , and I know she wants to be able to do more. My brother has had a child that she wants to do things with , and isn't always able to because of her health issues.
Here is the key. If you want to help. And I believe you do. Then help her. You need to sit down and talk to her about it. She's your mom man , talk to her. Let her know you are concerned , and talk about something you can do TOGETHER to make it better. Help her with her diet choices. Give her more ideas , eat with her (healthier foods).
I've been able to do this , and got my mom up and walking around the block this summer. She started feeling better, and having more energy , but fell down and hurt her knee and hasn't been able to get back on it yet. But I'm not going to let it go that easy. And you shouldn't either. I want to keep my mom around for as long as I can , and I don't want to see her succumb to cheese cake , and fried green tomatoes , and stuff that's bad for her. Good luck man.
 

PoloShirt

Banned
Oct 9, 2006
141
0
0
OP, You sound like a whiney girl. If your mother is a jerk, eff her. Don't be concerned with it. Some people cannot be helped.
 

DasFox

Diamond Member
Sep 4, 2003
4,668
46
91
NO NO NO, these replies of offing mom, there is nothing you can do, some people can't be helped, that is not true at all.

This is very much an American/Western concept of life, because the American way of life is, me, myself and I.

Truth is most Americans only believe in the attitude of looking out for number one, and because of our values as a society we have turned people into this mess.

The biggest problem here is a "Lack of Confidence", most Americans suffer from this stupid thing we call an "Inferiority Complex, this a fact in America.

When we as a people start changing out hearts and stopping considering ourselves over others then we can make change.

Do not consider your life over another, but when your life is put below another, and you consider them over yourself, change can and will be made.

And remember one SMALL positive gesture, a smile, a handshake, or hug, also telling something positive to a person does have a tremendous effect even though it is not evident at first, and with re-enforcement over time growth will happen, change will be made!

Everyone has a good quality, trait, find it, use it!

ALOHA

The Blind Can't Lead The Blind, Only Those That Can See.