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My most embarrasing moment....

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,153
4
81
Funny story actually....

Cliff's for you illiterate people:
1. Went to get lunch
2. Stopped to buy a soda on the way back
3. Stole the soda by accident
4. Got hemmed up by Barney for it
5. Went back to the store, bought the soda and got a warning

It begins with me and another guy going out to grab a pickup order for the office. On the way back I'm feeling a bit thirsty and decide to stop at this food mart and grab a Mountain Dew. So, I walk into the store and grab a Dew out of the cooler and I don't know where the h3ll my head was but I just walk out like it's nothing. In fact it never even occured to me that I forgot to pay.

Now, a little background about me...
I'm a family man, almost 30 with 2 kids, a good paying job, and more or less your average suburban lifestyle. I even wear a tie to work, OK? Believe me, I can afford a $1.50 soda!

So I'm driving back almost to work and I see Barney come screaming up behind me in the rear-view. I look down, I'm not speeding or anything (still not realizing that I've done anything wrong). Then the officer asks me if I just came from the food mart. I answer yes, still wondering what's going on. I thought maybe I was supposed to be a witness to something??:confused:

Then he asks me if I bought a soda there. Right then I could have just melted... Just like one of those Travelocity commercials "Need to get away?...". So anyway, he has me get out of the truck and assume the position. So here I am in my dress clothes and tie getting patted down. Then I've got to ride in the back of the cop car back to the store with him as my buddy follows in my truck.

So then the cop takes me in the store and we go in and talk to the manager about it. Of course she's looking at me like I'm some thug out of Compton and I just wanted to die. So I explain it to her and ask if I can BUY the soda, because I'm still thristy. So I pay for it and the cop is out in the parking lot filling out his report. Luckily there was no shoplifting ticket but the cop still filed a reportable incident statement so I guess I now officially have a criminal record or something for the next time I get pulled over speeding. Great:roll:!

Boy do I feel like an a$$-hat-uh!:eek:

JR..
 

ironcrotch

Diamond Member
May 11, 2004
7,749
0
0
Hahhaa, what kind of store was this. A lot to go through for $1.50, but I guess a buck is a buck.
 

3chordcharlie

Diamond Member
Mar 30, 2004
9,859
1
81
Now when you turn up dead in an alley, the newspaper article will have a statement like 'the apparent victim, who was known to police... '.

It's alright, my name is in several officers' little black notebooks for even more mundane stuff than that!
 

OdiN

Banned
Mar 1, 2000
16,430
3
0
I've almost done stuff like that before.

I've sometimes almost walked out of the bowling alley without paying for my games. Though..they know me pretty well down there so I don't think they'd care and I could pay the next time I'm in there.
 

monk3y

Lifer
Jun 12, 2001
12,699
0
76
That sucks... Still can't believe all that for a freaking Mountain Dew. I guess the law is the law...
 

HN

Diamond Member
Jan 19, 2001
8,186
4
0
illiterate people would not be able to read even the cliff notes
 

DnetMHZ

Diamond Member
Apr 10, 2001
9,826
1
81
So, exactly HOW hard was your friend laughing on the way back to the office?
 

lozina

Lifer
Sep 10, 2001
11,711
8
81
That was just your evil subconscious gaining control over you, soon you'll be hearing voices in your head and gonna start murdering people!! :p
 

NuclearNed

Raconteur
May 18, 2001
7,882
380
126
<Dean Wormer> Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. </Dean Wormer>
 

AdamSnow

Diamond Member
Nov 21, 2002
5,736
0
76
Next time just ask for some change man... ;)

Seriously - that sucks... but you know, it's SO possible... My Fiancee was at a store once and picked up some measuing cups... probably $0.75? not on sale? we walked around and around looking at other stuff, and we just walked out... when we got home she had this look on her face and pulled out the cups... I of course "What??? they broken or something?" "No... I didn't pay for these..." lol

This was when we were on vacation too... about 6 hours away from home... I didn't go back and pay or anything...

FREE CUPS!
 

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,153
4
81
Originally posted by: DnetMHZ
So, exactly HOW hard was your friend laughing on the way back to the office?

No, the worst part was explaining to the whole damn office what the h3ll took so long. EVERYBODY's having a good laugh at my expense right now.

I'm surprised they haven't sent out a global e-mail yet with some photochop of me in an orange jumpsuit!

Sheesh..:roll:
 

JoLLyRoGer

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2000
4,153
4
81
Originally posted by: ironcrotch
Hahhaa, what kind of store was this. A lot to go through for $1.50, but I guess a buck is a buck.

It was one of those ratty little quick stops. I guess they take their soda pretty seriously!!
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,873
10,668
147
I foresee a FLOOD of parody threads. :shocked:
 

Baked

Lifer
Dec 28, 2004
36,052
17
81
You've done this many many times, you just have very short term memory and don't remember any of them. You should've floored it and have a most ridiculous COPS videos chase scene.
 

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
Forum Director
Oct 9, 1999
46,873
10,668
147
Originally posted by: JoLLyRoGer
Originally posted by: Perknose
I foresee a FLOOD of parody threads. :shocked:

Ahhh, the power of suggestion..;)
Then I foresee a FLOOD of spontaneous cash contributions to my personal beer fund. :laugh:

 

MmmSkyscraper

Diamond Member
Jul 6, 2004
9,472
1
76
I've almost done something similar, my brain forgot I was shopping for some fvcked up reason. I remembered before leaving the store though :)
 

OutHouse

Lifer
Jun 5, 2000
36,410
616
126
i have done that. I stopped by the post office and got my mail and my tax refund was in there and was much less than what i was expecting. my second stop was a book store, the tax refund was on my mind and i just walked out of the store with the book in my hand. I got to my car and realized there was a book in my hand and realized that i just shopplifted. I went back inside and paid for it.

this was on a air force base and i was a cop. if the BX security people caught me i would have been nailed to a cross. thank god nobody noticed. it was a legimate oversight but i wouldnt have had a leg to stand on while my commander took a stripe.
 

BooGiMaN

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2001
7,955
0
0
damn a bonafide thief on our message boards man this place has certainly gone down....:p

my wife has unintentionally done this at costco...she wanted to buy a sweater and didnt want to put in with the other food items in the cart so it wouldnt get dirty or wet so she draped it over her shoulder...

neither the cashier or the person that checks the reciept at the door ever said anything....and she was too embarrased to go back after she realized it when we got to the car.
 

Mermaidman

Diamond Member
Sep 4, 2003
7,987
93
91
So what race are you?

edit: And here's my shoplifting story: 8-pack of Mach3 turbo cartridges fell and got wedged in a corner of shopping cart. Set off the alarm when I exited. I figured the alarm was malfunctioning so I just kept on going--No one chased after me! When I unloaded the shopping cart, I saw I just scored free cartridges--Woohoo!

But I went back in and paid for them. Had to stand in line again :|