My leg hurts...what do to?

[LordMaul]

I was walking in from my car with some stuff from the grocery store, and I slipped and fell backwards and hit my head on the ground. I was feeling kind of woozy, and couldn't move my head off of my left shoulder, but I went up my long flight of stairs anyway and promptly slipped again, this time hitting my thigh bone and crunching the bone through my skin. But hey, what's a compound fracture now and then? The part the really killed was the fact that I layed there in the snow for 3 hours, and now my legs are black...

Anyone have any idea what I should do? I managed to drag myself up the steps and into my room, but I'm not sure where to go next.

 

[Anubis]

911?

 

[Mill]

He is joking.

 

[Anubis]

no sh!t

 

[LordMaul]

Originally posted by: TheEvil1
911?

Are you sure? I really thought AT would be the place to ask.

 

[GroundZero]

just cut them off with a skill saw.
or if you're not skilled, try gnawing them off!

 

[RaynorWolfcastle]

AYE!!!! Es el effecto de senor Skoorb

 

[agnitrate]

Yes, I AM a doctor....

Go to your local hardware store and attempt to amputate your leg. If you don't do this within 32 hours, gangrene will set in.

Walk into the saw section and grab a hack saw and start going at your leg. It might hurt a bit so you might want to drink some paint thinner before hand. Once the leg is amputated, find the broken bone and bend it back into place like you would with play-dough. Now, go to the duct tape section and re-attach that sucker.

Voila!

-silver

 

[Mill]

Originally posted by: LordMaul

Originally posted by: TheEvil1
911?

Are you sure? I really thought AT would be the place to ask.

I don't recall having a serious problem but rather discussing why this is happening. I thought it was a weird enough occurance to post. Anywho..

 

[CraigRT]

:Q

clumsy bastage.

 

[LordMaul]

Originally posted by: RaynorWolfcastle
AYE!!!! Es el effecto de senor Skoorb

Bah, Skoorb is an amateur. He ripped the Golden Parody Post off me.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: GroundZero
just cut them off with a skill saw.
or if you're not skilled, try gnawing them off!

best answer you could get from a techy board

do it

 

[Legendary]

LordMaul effect doesn't have the same ring to it though.

 

[Harvey]

Your legs are sore as a form of cosmic punishment for pulling so hard on everyone else's for so long.

 

[911paramedic]

Hey, they dont hurt anymore since they are frozen solid right? And that head thing, you will just sleep it off (heck you may even wake up). If you are still in pain, just shake your head around because you probably have a fracture, and it will sever the spinal cord and you will not have any more pain from the neck down.

All bleeding stops, eventually.

 

[wfbberzerker]

i was about to believe this thread... until i saw who posted it...

 

[LordMaul]

I am bumping this thread, because I feel it is vital to the American commonwealth.







Actually, it's really a good chance for a couple extra posts. :Q

 

[lilFajita]

it'll be fine in a couple of days.

edit: forgot my

 

[DaveSimmons]

Literally LOL, best parody this week

 

[PG]

Suck it up and walk it off you pansy.

 

[LordMaul]

Originally posted by: PG
Suck it up and walk it off you pansy.

I tried, but my leg broke off at the knee...

 

[pyonir]

end yourself.

 

[HappyPuppy]

Tie a tourniquet around your neck. It will alleviate the pain and allow you to empty your bowels. You might want to sit on the toilet when you do this.

 

[DanFungus]

Originally posted by: LordMaul

Originally posted by: PG
Suck it up and walk it off you pansy.

I tried, but my leg broke off at the knee...

break off the other one so it matches!

 

[LordMaul]

Originally posted by: DanFungus

Originally posted by: LordMaul

Originally posted by: PG
Suck it up and walk it off you pansy.

I tried, but my leg broke off at the knee...

break off the other one so it matches!

Then I'd be short, and I'd rather die than be short.