My honeymoon lessons learned

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bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
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Originally posted by: QED
Why the hell people plan wedding receptions until 11 PM or later is beyond me.

And why the hell people think they need to drink at such a special occasion is beyond me.

In my case, 11 AM wedding = 1 PM reception (no alcolhol) = 5 PM check-in at hotel = all the sex you could ever want for five straight days and nights.


My sister got married about a month ago, and the reception started at 6 and went until midnight, and it was a blast. There were about 200 people, most of them from our family (my mom has 8 siblings), and our whole family loves to drink. A wedding reception without alcohol is pretty lame IMHO. My sister and her husband didnt drink at the reception (beyond a glass or two of champagne), and my mom and dad didnt start drinking until after they had a chance to talk to alot of the tables.

Everybody else in the bridal party got smashed though, and it was great. Lots of dancing, etc... You just dont get the same atmosphere at such large gatherings without booze.

They left for their first honeymoon the next afternoon. They just wanted something relaxing after the wedding, but they have a full-fledged honeymoon to mexico planned over christmas.

Like the OP, my sister and her husband started dating in highschool, and all through college, and got married a year after college, and they also took the no sex before marriage. I am interested to see how this will turn out, but I think it will be fine since they are both very religious (but not religious weirdos), and its not just one person who doesnt want to have sex.
 
L

Lola

Originally posted by: dullard
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
HOLY SH!T!!!! :(

To other men out there... THIS DOES NOT ALWAYS HAPPEN...
some of us girls do not chnage when we get married...
I suppose it doesn't always happen. But to assume someone will stay the same forever is wrong too. I've always liked your potty mouth, Lola.
Originally posted by: amdhunter
That is just so retarded. :confused:
Yep. I truely was a dullard. Lesson learned.

You do not have to be mean. I am sad that this happened to you and a little shocked as well. :|
 

QED

Diamond Member
Dec 16, 2005
3,428
3
0
Originally posted by: Kntx
Originally posted by: QED
Why the hell people plan wedding receptions until 11 PM or later is beyond me.

And why the hell people think they need to drink at such a special occasion is beyond me.

In my case, 11 AM wedding = 1 PM reception (no alcolhol) = 5 PM check-in at hotel = all the sex you could ever want for five straight days and nights.

11pm late?? I've never been to a wedding reception that ended before 3am. I think it's pretty typical.

I never said it wasn't typical... I just happen to think it's quite retarded.

Why should you spend the first night with your new bride in some crummy reception hall with all of your stupid relatives getting blitzed and making complete asses out of themselves when you could be back at the hotel consumating your marriage?

You'll have plenty of time to party when you're married... I just don't see the big need for it on your wedding night.
 

DougK62

Diamond Member
Mar 28, 2001
8,035
6
81
DAMN. I read the top part thinking "Man, I hope this guy didn't wait for marriage to get sex" and then BAM...you did. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it just made your story even more heart-breaking.

 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,048
4,695
126
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
You do not have to be mean. I am sad that this happened to you and a little shocked as well. :|
Mean? I didn't intend that. I still don't see what was mean there. I'll edit it out, because I truely didn't intend anything. I meant that as a compliment that I've always liked your posts. Sorry. Here is a gift as I beg your forgiveness. :gift:
 

kevman

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2001
3,548
1
81
sorry to hear your troubles, mate. looks like you could use a bachelor party, even though youre already married.

looks like you're headed down a disastrous path as far as your sex life goes.

EDIT: NEVERMIND, did't realize that this was someon you already divorced, thank god macho.
 

QED

Diamond Member
Dec 16, 2005
3,428
3
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Originally posted by: bignateyk

Everybody else in the bridal party got smashed though, and it was great. Lots of dancing, etc... You just dont get the same atmosphere at such large gatherings without booze.

And you don't find this somewhat sad? That you can't have a gathering of friends and families that is enjoyable without getting drunk off your ass?
 

phantom309

Platinum Member
Jan 30, 2002
2,065
1
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She dated you with no sex for five years, with promises of lots of sex after you got married - and then only wanted it once a year? That's really manipulative. There's something seriously wrong with her. That 'no sex after marriage" cliche means going from, say, three times a week to three times a month. She's either a lesbian in denial or she has a major psychological problem.

Anyway, I'm glad you got out of that relationship and I hope your new girlfriend is seX0ring your brains out.
 

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
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Originally posted by: QED
Originally posted by: bignateyk
Originally posted by: QED
Everybody else in the bridal party got smashed though, and it was great. Lots of dancing, etc... You just dont get the same atmosphere at such large gatherings without booze.

And you don't find this somewhat sad? That you can't have a gathering of friends and families that is enjoyable without getting drunk off your ass?


not really. Im not saying it would be un-enjoyable, but it wouldnt have been nearly as fun. Its just human nature.. you arent gonna get 100 people dancing to the YMCA and actually enjoying it without booze. Likewise, like it or not, most of the people that go to receptions expect booze, and even if they look like they are having fun, they are probably a little pissed there wasnt an open bar.


edit: something is fvcked up with the inlined quotes, and im not actually replying to myself
 
Jan 18, 2001
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A friend of mine married his gf of 8 yrs or so. They easily spent 30k on the wedding, another 5k on the honeymoon, and 10k on the divorce that was initiated 1 week later.

There is no substitute for open and clear communication about all manner of things.

I'm glad the OP is in a better relationship now! His ex sounds pretty crazy and fairly manipulative.

:beer:
 

Fraggable

Platinum Member
Jul 20, 2005
2,799
0
0
Originally posted by: dullard
Originally posted by: Fraggable
I respect the OP for that, it's not easy but I believe it's the right way to do it. It's a shame she changed so much after the wedding. Maybe you should have gone to couples' counselling?
I too thought it was noble, if not quite difficult. I like to challenge myself, and that was a challenge. But no, it is not the right way to do it. You have to test drive a vehicle before buying it. Anything else is just being stupid.

Counselling was attempted in limited ways. It really didn't help. But we didn't try many different counsellors. She found her own form of councelling in men she dated during our marriage.
Originally posted by: edro
Have you banged the new girl yet? I take it you're still a virgin?
We are doing just fine, thanks. Our 1 year anniversary is this month.

I didn't really mean that abstaining is great because it's a way to challenge yourself or noble really, I believe it's right for religious reasons that 99.8% of you people don't agree with.

I'm all for challenging yourself but that isn't the way to do it.
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,392
1,780
126
My wedding is planned for Sept 10... We leave for our Honeymoon on Sept 21. This was only planned because I'm using my timeshare network to get a week in Hawaii... No other weeks were available in September. Everyone I spoke with told me that they were miserable after they had to rush away....you don't get to visit with family, etc after the ceremony because you go into nervous travel mode.

As for the sex part....you wouldn't buy a car without a test drive. Always have sex before marraige....no matter what your beliefs are. If it isn't good, you marraige won't be good. As for the woman being sexual....believe it or not, it's sometimes better to have to work for her. It's more gratifying than having someone who is ready to jump your bones and anyone else's...(those can also be bad marraige situations)

It might also be a good idea to take numerous trips with the person and figure out what they dislike and clear all expectations you may or may not have. Finally, make sure you understand their work ethic. Women with no work ethic may sleep more than those who are willing to participate in your financial security. It really makes a difference having someone who's willing to pull their own weight.
 

T9D

Diamond Member
Dec 1, 2001
5,320
6
0
Originally posted by: LolaWiz
HOLY SH!T!!!! :(

To other men out there... THIS DOES NOT ALWAYS HAPPEN...
some of us girls do not chnage when we get married...

Riiiight. Well if it isn't this it's them putting on 30 lbs :p

Actually I had a worse situation happen. It lasted only a mere 4 months. Total 180. Evil evil girl. But right after she ran out to live with her girl friend before we had anything even signed she got pregnant by some loser hahaa. Now years later she is fighting for custody and she'll probably lose because she's a loser. ahh I love to sit back and watch the drama as they reap what they have sown and get their payback.
 

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,639
6,522
126
the problem didn't seem to be your honeymoon, it seemed to be your lazy, selfish, and boring wife.

(sorry if it's harsh, but that's what it seems like she is from what you posted.)
 

davew0670

Golden Member
Apr 24, 2003
1,132
0
76
I eventually caved and we went to sleep instead


right here is where you failed. You should have just mounted up. You would probably still be married if you had just shown her who the boss was.
 

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,639
6,522
126
wow after reading this whole thread it seems like there are a lot of tools posting in here.

a reception till 11pm is late? a reception without alcohol would be better times? no sex for 5 years, then you get promised you will have sex like rabbits afterwards, and then only 1 time a year?

wow i'm glad I don't know such boring tools like some of the people posting in this thread lol.
 

Dragoon42

Platinum Member
Oct 2, 2000
2,078
0
0
Originally posted by: dullard
Originally posted by: Fraggable
I respect the OP for that, it's not easy but I believe it's the right way to do it. It's a shame she changed so much after the wedding. Maybe you should have gone to couples' counselling?
I too thought it was noble, if not quite difficult. I like to challenge myself, and that was a challenge. But no, it is not the right way to do it. You have to test drive a vehicle before buying it. Anything else is just being stupid.

Counselling was attempted in limited ways. It really didn't help. But we didn't try many different counsellors. She found her own form of councelling in men she dated during our marriage.
Originally posted by: edro
Have you banged the new girl yet? I take it you're still a virgin?
We are doing just fine, thanks. Our 1 year anniversary is this month.



oh man, sorry to hear she cheated on you =(

It's rough.
 

QED

Diamond Member
Dec 16, 2005
3,428
3
0
Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow after reading this whole thread it seems like there are a lot of tools posting in here.

a reception till 11pm is late? a reception without alcohol would be better times? no sex for 5 years, then you get promised you will have sex like rabbits afterwards, and then only 1 time a year?

wow i'm glad I don't know such boring tools like some of the people posting in this thread lol.

If you don't have a long reception, you don't need a lot of alcohol.

It warms the cockles of my heart to know there are lots of people out there who seem to think a wedding reception is a nice time and place to recapture the spirit of frat party days.

Maybe on your wedding night you'd like to be partying with your Aunt Hilda who is so smashed she doesn't notice her blouse is around her waist. Me? I'd rather be alone with my bride, thank you very much.
 

bignateyk

Lifer
Apr 22, 2002
11,288
7
0
Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow after reading this whole thread it seems like there are a lot of tools posting in here.

a reception till 11pm is late? a reception without alcohol would be better times? no sex for 5 years, then you get promised you will have sex like rabbits afterwards, and then only 1 time a year?

wow i'm glad I don't know such boring tools like some of the people posting in this thread lol.

I definitly agree with the 11pm and alcohol thing as mentioned above. Even my pastor had a few beers at the reception. I normally agree that waiting until after marriage to have sex is a bad idea for one simple reason: it is rarely the case that both parties feel strongly about it. Usually one party will have strong feelings, and the other party, wanting to support her will go along with it, being resentful the entire time.

If both parties truly, deep down, KNOW that it is the RIGHT thing to do, I think it can work out just fine. I sincerely hope and believe that this is the case between my sister and her husband.
 

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,639
6,522
126
Originally posted by: QED
Originally posted by: purbeast0
wow after reading this whole thread it seems like there are a lot of tools posting in here.

a reception till 11pm is late? a reception without alcohol would be better times? no sex for 5 years, then you get promised you will have sex like rabbits afterwards, and then only 1 time a year?

wow i'm glad I don't know such boring tools like some of the people posting in this thread lol.

If you don't have a long reception, you don't need a lot of alcohol.

It warms the cockles of my heart to know there are lots of people out there who seem to think a wedding reception is a nice time and place to recapture the spirit of frat party days.

Maybe on your wedding night you'd like to be partying with your Aunt Hilda who is so smashed she doesn't notice her blouse is around her waist. Me? I'd rather be alone with my bride, thank you very much.

i dont understand why you think that drinking = everyone is wasted ...

get that through your head that's not the case. every wedding i've been to has had a crapload of alcohol and it's damn fun to drink with everyone and have a great time. it's much more fun than the times when I went to weddings before I was 21 and couldn't drink there.

having a long reception is a good thing. you get to spend a great time with all of your closest friends and new family celebrating the day that 2 familes became one. it's the perfect time to have a huge party. to think otherwise is just well ... boring.