I used to live with my grandma and for the last 7 years or so and have basically been her support for everything. She's got 3 kids, 2 of which live overseas, and my dad who lives in town. I always cut her grass, shoveled the snow, took her to the bank, grocery store, doctors appointments, etc. Many times I would stop by just to say hi on my way home from school (although I'm sure I could have visited more often).
She called me about 8 weeks ago saying she was having trouble breathing so I rushed to her house and called an ambulance. She had a pretty bad heart attack.
She had been in the hospital for 8 weeks and I visited every day for the first 2 weeks or so, and then started going twice a week, and by the end once a week. She was getting better, and was supposed to be released on friday. As she was about to be released she said she didn't feel well, so she was taken back to her room and after a few hours had some kind of kidney failure and past away.
My dad came to visit every day for the entire 8 weeks, my uncle flew in and saw her every day for a month and my aunt flew in and has spent every day for the last 3 weeks visiting. She got to see so many people.
The range of emotions and thoughts I have right now are pretty varied.
I'm sad she's gone, but I know that she was ready to go. She hated that she was of completely sound mind and that she had no more strength to function on her own. I think that she just held on until she felt comfortable that she got her time with her family, made her peace and then let go.
I feel bad because on friday I was going to go down to the hospital to see her after class (I pass the hospital on my way home), but I was exhausted from school and wanted to go home and relax before going to work. Shortly after I got to work (5 hours later), she died. I literally missed my last opportunity to see her because I felt tired and didn't want to bother going to the hospital.
I don't really feel guilty. I just don't like that I have to live with that thought. My last memory of her is nice though. The week before that it was really sunny out and I found out that she had not been outside since she had been admitted (46 days). I said that was crazy, so I took her outside for the first time and we got to talk out in the sun for an hour.
This is the first time I've lost someone really close to me...
She called me about 8 weeks ago saying she was having trouble breathing so I rushed to her house and called an ambulance. She had a pretty bad heart attack.
She had been in the hospital for 8 weeks and I visited every day for the first 2 weeks or so, and then started going twice a week, and by the end once a week. She was getting better, and was supposed to be released on friday. As she was about to be released she said she didn't feel well, so she was taken back to her room and after a few hours had some kind of kidney failure and past away.
My dad came to visit every day for the entire 8 weeks, my uncle flew in and saw her every day for a month and my aunt flew in and has spent every day for the last 3 weeks visiting. She got to see so many people.
The range of emotions and thoughts I have right now are pretty varied.
I'm sad she's gone, but I know that she was ready to go. She hated that she was of completely sound mind and that she had no more strength to function on her own. I think that she just held on until she felt comfortable that she got her time with her family, made her peace and then let go.
I feel bad because on friday I was going to go down to the hospital to see her after class (I pass the hospital on my way home), but I was exhausted from school and wanted to go home and relax before going to work. Shortly after I got to work (5 hours later), she died. I literally missed my last opportunity to see her because I felt tired and didn't want to bother going to the hospital.
I don't really feel guilty. I just don't like that I have to live with that thought. My last memory of her is nice though. The week before that it was really sunny out and I found out that she had not been outside since she had been admitted (46 days). I said that was crazy, so I took her outside for the first time and we got to talk out in the sun for an hour.
This is the first time I've lost someone really close to me...
