RagingBITCH
Lifer
Yee Cheong Chu, my grandfather, passed away last Saturday morning at 8:20. He was 82 years old.
He recently had a stroke and was paralyzed on his right side. His right arm was immobile but there was little movement in his right leg/foot. My father and myself went to go visit him in the hospital during this time. It was sad to see him lying in the hospital bed, and we knew this was a life altering change, but we thought he would get better. He could not speak but attempted to. He squeezed your hand when you were next to his bedside. About 2 weeks later he went to the rehab center where he spent about a week before being found one night without breath.
They rushed him to the hospital where it turns out the pneumonia he had been battling had not gone away despite medication. He was put on a ventilator and a breathing machine in the ICU. Seeing a loved one hooked up to a million tubes and machines is scary and horribly sad. I got the feeling that the adults of the family were not telling me something. He would spend about a week and a half in ICU before they pronounced him as not having much life left to live.
He was then moved into a normal room where he would spend his final days. The first day he was in there he opened his eyes a few times and moved his arm, but those were the only times since coming into the ICU that he did and would. Maybe it was the drugs wearing off, not sure. We came and went to the hospital the next two days, wondering when he would pass. His breath got slower and it took much more effort to breathe. We thought he might make it, despite the doctor's diagnosis. But the fvckers took him off his food and left him to die. After leaving the ICU he wasn't given anything to eat intravenously. We asked our doctor could he make a recovery but he was already confident in his decision, therefore cutting him off. He just seemed so cocky and arrogant, fvcking bastard.
Friday night I left the hospital with my aunt, but before doing so, I held my grandfather's hand and said "bye goong goong", (Grandfather in Chinese) not knowing that those would be the last words and the last time I saw him alive. Saturday morning at 8:25 my aunt comes in crying saying he just passed away. We go to the hospital and see all my relatives crying. This was the first time I've ever seen my father cry. He's a man's man but this was his father. I patted him on the back but wasn't able to hug him since he left the room.
It was odd seeing my grandfather lying in the hospital bed, drained of color and not breathing. I'll admit I wasn't too close to him since I saw him about once a year for a week or so, but he was important to me and my family and I have memories of him and my grandmother in happier days. I left the room and sat outside, staring at the wall for about an hour. It was like you didn't know if you were awake or you were dreaming a horrible horrible dream. I went back to my aunt's and just kind of stared into space for a while. I guess I went into shock.
The next few days were spent preparing for the funeral. All of my cousins and uncles/aunts from my fathers side of the family came to Tennessee. It was the first time in many many years that everyone was together all at the same time at the same place. It's a damn shame it had to be for something like this. The memorial service was held Tuesday night. It was depressing seeing him lying in the coffin, knowing that he will never wake up. He was dressed in his usual gray suit. His fedora lay next to him. My cousin brought with him his state championship soccer medal to bury with my grandfather, and my other cousin brought a model of a black 1970 Lincoln of some sort. His dream when he immigrated here to America was to get his drivers license and to drive a Lincoln. He studied hard for the test but when it came time to take it he couldn't say his name and address in English. I don't know if he refused to learn it or refused to on principle, but he never took the test and never got to drive the Lincoln that he had always wanted.
Wednesday morning at 10 was the funeral. We gathered in the altar thing and gave our last respects. For some reason I couldn't shed a tear for my grandfather. In tradition, we bowed to him before the final closing of the coffin, but I couldn't cry. I don't know why. I cry/tear up at movies but for some reason I couldn't. Myself and the rest of my cousins were pallbearers. We put it into the hurst and drove by his house one last time before heading to the gravesite.
His gravesite was a heavy tomb which they put the coffin into. The pallbearers put our roses and our gloves onto the coffin. Everyone put a rose onto the coffin and then we performed some Budhist tradition where we burned incense at his grave and lit a large fire.
The weirdest thing was after the funeral when we went out to eat. Everyone was talking and laughing and seemingly having a good time. I don't know why everyone seemed so upbeat and happy. I guess they got to put everything to rest at the funeral, I don't know. I would have expected it to be more somber but everyone grieves in different ways.
I wish I had gotten to know my grandfather better. I don't speak very good Cantonese (chinese) so it was somewhat of a hinderance when we spoke. He was also not as vocal as my grandmother is, so he was kind of the cool grandfather who let me get away with whatever I wanted and covered for me when I screwed up. I have a lot of regrets in my life. This will be a big one that I can never take back. For those who have grandparents or even parents that they don't talk to a lot, take the time to while you can. You never know when it all will come crashing down on you. Take advantage of their company when you can while you can.
I apologize for writing such a large thing but I had to get that off my chest.
Melvin
He recently had a stroke and was paralyzed on his right side. His right arm was immobile but there was little movement in his right leg/foot. My father and myself went to go visit him in the hospital during this time. It was sad to see him lying in the hospital bed, and we knew this was a life altering change, but we thought he would get better. He could not speak but attempted to. He squeezed your hand when you were next to his bedside. About 2 weeks later he went to the rehab center where he spent about a week before being found one night without breath.
They rushed him to the hospital where it turns out the pneumonia he had been battling had not gone away despite medication. He was put on a ventilator and a breathing machine in the ICU. Seeing a loved one hooked up to a million tubes and machines is scary and horribly sad. I got the feeling that the adults of the family were not telling me something. He would spend about a week and a half in ICU before they pronounced him as not having much life left to live.
He was then moved into a normal room where he would spend his final days. The first day he was in there he opened his eyes a few times and moved his arm, but those were the only times since coming into the ICU that he did and would. Maybe it was the drugs wearing off, not sure. We came and went to the hospital the next two days, wondering when he would pass. His breath got slower and it took much more effort to breathe. We thought he might make it, despite the doctor's diagnosis. But the fvckers took him off his food and left him to die. After leaving the ICU he wasn't given anything to eat intravenously. We asked our doctor could he make a recovery but he was already confident in his decision, therefore cutting him off. He just seemed so cocky and arrogant, fvcking bastard.
Friday night I left the hospital with my aunt, but before doing so, I held my grandfather's hand and said "bye goong goong", (Grandfather in Chinese) not knowing that those would be the last words and the last time I saw him alive. Saturday morning at 8:25 my aunt comes in crying saying he just passed away. We go to the hospital and see all my relatives crying. This was the first time I've ever seen my father cry. He's a man's man but this was his father. I patted him on the back but wasn't able to hug him since he left the room.
It was odd seeing my grandfather lying in the hospital bed, drained of color and not breathing. I'll admit I wasn't too close to him since I saw him about once a year for a week or so, but he was important to me and my family and I have memories of him and my grandmother in happier days. I left the room and sat outside, staring at the wall for about an hour. It was like you didn't know if you were awake or you were dreaming a horrible horrible dream. I went back to my aunt's and just kind of stared into space for a while. I guess I went into shock.
The next few days were spent preparing for the funeral. All of my cousins and uncles/aunts from my fathers side of the family came to Tennessee. It was the first time in many many years that everyone was together all at the same time at the same place. It's a damn shame it had to be for something like this. The memorial service was held Tuesday night. It was depressing seeing him lying in the coffin, knowing that he will never wake up. He was dressed in his usual gray suit. His fedora lay next to him. My cousin brought with him his state championship soccer medal to bury with my grandfather, and my other cousin brought a model of a black 1970 Lincoln of some sort. His dream when he immigrated here to America was to get his drivers license and to drive a Lincoln. He studied hard for the test but when it came time to take it he couldn't say his name and address in English. I don't know if he refused to learn it or refused to on principle, but he never took the test and never got to drive the Lincoln that he had always wanted.
Wednesday morning at 10 was the funeral. We gathered in the altar thing and gave our last respects. For some reason I couldn't shed a tear for my grandfather. In tradition, we bowed to him before the final closing of the coffin, but I couldn't cry. I don't know why. I cry/tear up at movies but for some reason I couldn't. Myself and the rest of my cousins were pallbearers. We put it into the hurst and drove by his house one last time before heading to the gravesite.
His gravesite was a heavy tomb which they put the coffin into. The pallbearers put our roses and our gloves onto the coffin. Everyone put a rose onto the coffin and then we performed some Budhist tradition where we burned incense at his grave and lit a large fire.
The weirdest thing was after the funeral when we went out to eat. Everyone was talking and laughing and seemingly having a good time. I don't know why everyone seemed so upbeat and happy. I guess they got to put everything to rest at the funeral, I don't know. I would have expected it to be more somber but everyone grieves in different ways.
I wish I had gotten to know my grandfather better. I don't speak very good Cantonese (chinese) so it was somewhat of a hinderance when we spoke. He was also not as vocal as my grandmother is, so he was kind of the cool grandfather who let me get away with whatever I wanted and covered for me when I screwed up. I have a lot of regrets in my life. This will be a big one that I can never take back. For those who have grandparents or even parents that they don't talk to a lot, take the time to while you can. You never know when it all will come crashing down on you. Take advantage of their company when you can while you can.
I apologize for writing such a large thing but I had to get that off my chest.
Melvin
