Wash *ALL* your bedding, buy new pillows. Get rid of all clothing and other objects she may leave behind. Let her have her time with her biological dad but do not wait on her. Do not hang-out at *your* old haunts. Turning the matress over will help too. The orafactery(sp)
is a very strong reminder. Prolonged greaving is a spiritual black hole. In 30 days you will feel your foot-falls again.
Been there....Done that.
You got a PM.
is a very strong reminder. Prolonged greaving is a spiritual black hole. In 30 days you will feel your foot-falls again.
Been there....Done that.
You got a PM.
Chunkee
Lifer
- Jul 28, 2002
- 10,391
- 1
- 81
I know it hurts really really bad right now. My advice:
Keep busy.
Exercise a lot.
Keep things in perspective...dont go into super tailspin over this...
Dont date right away.
Dont call her or hunt her down.
Box up everything you all shared or items that were from her, and throw them away.
Do not listen to music that much.
DO watch some TV, preferably funny things.
DO not isolate yourself.
Grieve and move on.
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. This young woman was a letter in a word in a sentence, in a paragraph in the page, in the chapter in the book of your life.
Good luck...dont get mired in this...I did that before and it set me back way too much.
jC
Keep busy.
Exercise a lot.
Keep things in perspective...dont go into super tailspin over this...
Dont date right away.
Dont call her or hunt her down.
Box up everything you all shared or items that were from her, and throw them away.
Do not listen to music that much.
DO watch some TV, preferably funny things.
DO not isolate yourself.
Grieve and move on.
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. This young woman was a letter in a word in a sentence, in a paragraph in the page, in the chapter in the book of your life.
Good luck...dont get mired in this...I did that before and it set me back way too much.
jC
Originally posted by: pyonir
Oh....well you can always aspire to be an asshole...
Just pulling your leg.
fact of the matter here eli.....your girlfriend broke up with you to fvck an "a**hole".
Now you can do something so you dont get crushed by women again or you can continue how you are and repeat this scenario for the rest of your life.
choice is yours.
Eli, I?m not going to sugar coat this at all. This is a rough situation that will take a while to get over. Going out and keeping busy is critical at this juncture, do not disassociate yourself from friends and family. It sounds like you were really in love with this woman, so this time period will be difficult no matter how you cut it, regardless of how many skanky hoes you bang.
I?m married to beautiful, happy woman, yet I know that she is capable of waking up one morning and saying, ?I?m no longer happy, I?m moving?. Women have the ability to do so without looking back. I know I would be devastated and hurt, but at least mentally I know that possibility exists. You can not love someone blindly otherwise the hurt will be 10x worse.
I?m married to beautiful, happy woman, yet I know that she is capable of waking up one morning and saying, ?I?m no longer happy, I?m moving?. Women have the ability to do so without looking back. I know I would be devastated and hurt, but at least mentally I know that possibility exists. You can not love someone blindly otherwise the hurt will be 10x worse.
Originally posted by: gigapet
Originally posted by: pyonir
Oh....well you can always aspire to be an asshole...
fact of the matter here eli.....your girlfriend broke up with you to fvck an "a**hole".
Or her biological dad. *shudder*
well... i reverted to drinking...
just give it time... i still havn't gotten over mine... its hard...
just give it time... i still havn't gotten over mine... its hard...
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
a lot of *strange* advice in this thread, but anyways...
sorry to hear about that Eli. sorry you have to be so devastated, and you probably don't want to hear it but with each day you are going to get more and more over her.
people do fall out of love. be glad you weren't married or had a kid with her AND THEN she pulled this crap.
i hope you don't try to contact her. let things settle for awhile. you might find she misses you and realizes she made a mistake and contacts you. if not, she was not the one.
"the one" is out there. when one door closes, another one opens.
*hugs* Eli.
sorry to hear about that Eli. sorry you have to be so devastated, and you probably don't want to hear it but with each day you are going to get more and more over her.
people do fall out of love. be glad you weren't married or had a kid with her AND THEN she pulled this crap.
i hope you don't try to contact her. let things settle for awhile. you might find she misses you and realizes she made a mistake and contacts you. if not, she was not the one.
"the one" is out there. when one door closes, another one opens.
*hugs* Eli.
God, I hope she doesen't try and come back to me.. I don't know if I could deal with that....
I mean... I would probably accept her back, and she would probably end up breaking my heart again.. if I can be blindsided like this...
Geesh, I may never trust women again.
I mean... I would probably accept her back, and she would probably end up breaking my heart again.. if I can be blindsided like this...
Geesh, I may never trust women again.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
*hugs*
It's gonna be a bitch, and you will go through many different stages, but you will get through it.
qft... i didn't contact her and let things settle and now just last week she felt comfortable enough to ask for my address and yesterday i was able to speak to her for a bit... just give it time and don't do anything stupid.
Like I said, I am not an asshole.
Most people wouldn't even consider our "fights" to be real fights. I can't stress enough that this has taken me absolutely by surprise... As of the 29th, I thought we were getting married still.
As of about 12PM on the 30th, my world has been turned upside down.
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
i don't see your response. you hope she doesn't try and come back.
but if she did would you say, "no" ?
I still love her, I don't think I would be able to say no..
But on the other hand I would probably be setting myself up for heartbreak x2 .. if I can be taken by surprise like this...
Cmon Mosh you should know better than that. He can't answer that question now, but when people are hurting that bad, they almost always would try to get back together with that person
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,600
- 1,005
- 126
Sucks, and I've been there. It just takes time to get over her but it will happen eventually.
There are no quick easy fixes for this though...sorry.
:beer:
There are no quick easy fixes for this though...sorry.
:beer:
moshquerade
No Lifer
- Nov 1, 2001
- 61,504
- 12
- 56
i didn't know the answer. he didn't have to answer me either.
believe me, i've had breakups before, and one in particular i would've taken a shotgun to if he tried to come back.
sixone
Lifer
- May 3, 2004
- 25,030
- 5
- 61
People don't just walk away from a long-term relationship for no reason. You say you had some problems - that was your warning, but you chose to ignore it or discount it. If you can't acknowledge that, then there's probably a good reason why she's gone.
I'm sorry you're hurting. In time, you will look back on this as a blessing - you just need to hang in until that time arrives.
Leaving a LTR is tough, but you'll get through it. Just be glad you don't have marriage and children to further complicate and already complex situation. Good luck!
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