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My friend is completely whipped by his girlfriend :(

L

LordJezo

Banned
I don't care what he is getting out of it, it just isnt worth it to be with a girl this controlling.

Example 1:
We asked him last night at the gym if he would be allowed to go out one night a week with out his girlfriend coming along. You know, a night of men type thing. He responded by saying that going out once ever without her would be pushing it and she most likey would throw a huge fit if he attempted anything like going out with out her.

Example 2:
She got very angry and started yelling at him because he didn't spend more time saying goodbye to her for the hour and a half he had to leave the house to go to class. I am not exageratting. We came back from class and later that night she tossed everyone out of his room so she could yell at him.

Example 3:
We go to the gym pretty much every weeknight. She gets angry at him for doing this and says he should just stay in with her instead. He managed to get her to allow him to work out, but only because the rest of us dragged him out of the house.

Exampe 4:
We are studying in his room like good students with some music playing. She wants to study in the room, comes in and tells him to turn the music off. He complies. We are forced to sit in silence. She could have simply gone to her own room but didn't want to.

Oh well.
 
Originally posted by: LordJezo
I don't care what he is getting out of it, it just isnt worth it to be with a girl this controlling.

Example 1:
We asked him last night at the gym if he would be allowed to go out one night a week with out his girlfriend coming along. You know, a night of men type thing. He responded by saying that going out once ever without her would be pushing it and she most likey would throw a huge fit if he attempted anything like going out with out her.

Example 2:
She got very angry and started yelling at him because he didn't spend more time saying goodbye to her for the hour and a half he had to leave the house to go to class. I am not exageratting. We came back from class and later that night she tossed everyone out of his room so she could yell at him.

Example 3:
We go to the gym pretty much every weeknight. She gets angry at him for doing this and says he should just stay in with her instead. He managed to get her to allow him to work out, but only because the rest of us dragged him out of the house.


Oh well.
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he needs to get out of that relationship FAST. I've been in a similar situation and man my ex was a loon! You need to get him to realize what she's doing is wrong. He'll be against it and will get mad at you but its worth it for him
 
Originally posted by: axiom
Slap some sense into him. Just psychologically beat it into his head that a relationship is a give an take scenario. Respecting eachother's own needs is part of a healthy, long term bond.
Click to expand...

We try.. everynight.


His response: she bought me a 60 gig hard drive.

 
Originally posted by: LordJezo
Originally posted by: axiom
Slap some sense into him. Just psychologically beat it into his head that a relationship is a give an take scenario. Respecting eachother's own needs is part of a healthy, long term bond.
Click to expand...

We try.. everynight.


His response: she bought me a 60 gig hard drive.
Click to expand...

rolleye.gif


Tell him to cut his losses and fill that 60 gig hard drive with porn. At least that won't tell him that he can't go out with his friends



Confused
 
Originally posted by: LordJezo
Originally posted by: axiom
Slap some sense into him. Just psychologically beat it into his head that a relationship is a give an take scenario. Respecting eachother's own needs is part of a healthy, long term bond.
Click to expand...

We try.. everynight.


His response: she bought me a 60 gig hard drive.
Click to expand...

A 60Gig hard drive? Pffft! Unless that's a 60Gig SCSI Raid array with expandability or a SAN solution, she's STILL expendable.
 
Speak your piece but remember in a relationship two's company three's a crowd.If he's smart he'll come to his own conclusions and problem solving resolutions with his partner.. without third party interfernce
 
Sadly, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. He obviously is willing to put up with the short leash for now.

You won't get anywhere by continually badgering him about it. The rest of you should make your plans and let him know that he's welcome to come along.
 
Originally posted by: kranky
Sadly, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. He obviously is willing to put up with the short leash for now.

You won't get anywhere by continually badgering him about it. The rest of you should make your plans and let him know that he's welcome to come along.
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But how can you make plans when you know she is going to come along every time?

Heck.. my parents are happy and married and even they have the occasional go out with out the partner thing.

pffft.

Going out for about a year a guess...
 
Originally posted by: Nitemare
Did not know you knew Ben Affleck.

Can you get his autograph for me?
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:Q Sorry to hear about this, Matt. He'll come to his senses. 🙂
Have you ever seen Saving Silverman....😱
 
Originally posted by: ncircle
give it time, it may wear off.
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I don't know.

She's probably needy more than controlling and can't stand the thought of being alone. i had a GF once that wouldn't even let me sit down to read a book. 🙁. i mean that sucked, big time.

anyway, it didn't last. you can't have a relationship w/ someone that isn't comfortable with themselves.
 
He probably isn't happy with this, even if he says he is. She is definitely pushing him away. Only so much of that anybody can take. Once it gets to the point where you guys give up on him (because you will) because he is NEVER able to do anything and seems to not even care anymore then he'll be left with just her and him. They'll have a very dependent relationship with each other at that point. Now I have a friend who went through this and married her. Neither of them have any friends. His family is upset at the entire situation. He used to be my best buddy but in time he ditched everybody for his controlling insecure girlfriend. Oh well.

Of course he's an unusual type - most people will in time just say screw you biatch I've had enough. It will take its toll on most relationships and you'll have him back in a while!
 
yeah Skoorb I'd agree that most people over time would say i'm outta here... i prob. would too....
why did this guy choose to stay? any ideas?
 
Originally posted by: LordJezo
Originally posted by: axiom
Slap some sense into him. Just psychologically beat it into his head that a relationship is a give an take scenario. Respecting eachother's own needs is part of a healthy, long term bond.
Click to expand...

We try.. everynight.


His response: she bought me a 60 gig hard drive.
Click to expand...

What a geek!!!

 
I would laugh at a girl that even thought of trying that with me.

then her ass would be out. i don't care what she looks like or how good she is.
 
Originally posted by: Yield
yeah Skoorb I'd agree that most people over time would say i'm outta here... i prob. would too....
why did this guy choose to stay? any ideas?
Click to expand...
He just has a very needy latchy personality. He had not had a girlfriend before (this was summer after 1st year university), and when he got her he was determined to do whatever it took to keep her. I think also a lot of us didn't really like her (she was trampish) and that didn't help. However we were not very outwards about that and mrsskoorb and I hung around with them a lot. Really much of the problem was that she had no friends whatsoever and was a very vulernerable person. So if he wasn't around she felt lonely and dejected. The difference between him and most guys is that he was willing to take this long term. So, instead of juggling her and the rest of his social life he decided to ditch his social life and plow all efforts into her. He became a recluse hanging out with only her, going to class, then going home etc. You'd never see them in public except together. They were afraid to go out along it seemed.

Honestly much of the university would talk behind their back by 4th year. They were known as "that couple". His arm was always around her back, neither of them would talk to anybody etc. It was weird. His mother and brothers were upset by it and then finally we all gave up on him because it was like lordzero described. Just too much work and he'd never be able to do anything anyway.

I remember for a while him and I would go to these wrestling nights (like jiu jitsu and kick boxing training or whatever) for about 90 minutes a night. After the second or third night he quit and the reason was he told me was that when he was away from her he was constantly worrying about her and he just couldn't stand to be away from her. For some weeks she'd come home and find "notes" on her door. Freaky things written in weird handwriting. Nothing all that offensive though.

However she refused to report them and so one day he spent all day in her room keeping an eye under the door. Looking back it seems more than likely that she was planting these to sucker him into being with her more. Wouldn't surprise me in the least. She didn't have a loving family, no friends like I mentioned. She sprang a trap and he fell for it.
 
One of 2 things can happen here:

1) They'll eventually break up and then he'll realize he was a prisoner in his own home. He'll also realize that it strained his relationship with his friends.
2) They stay together long time and he never truly reaches happines since the girl is like a prison warden.

I go for option 3, get out now and cut your losses OR sit her butt down and have a nice, long talk.
 
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: Yield
yeah Skoorb I'd agree that most people over time would say i'm outta here... i prob. would too....
why did this guy choose to stay? any ideas?
Click to expand...
He just has a very needy latchy personality. He had not had a girlfriend before (this was summer after 1st year university), and when he got her he was determined to do whatever it took to keep her. I think also a lot of us didn't really like her (she was trampish) and that didn't help. However we were not very outwards about that and mrsskoorb and I hung around with them a lot. Really much of the problem was that she had no friends whatsoever and was a very vulernerable person. So if he wasn't around she felt lonely and dejected. The difference between him and most guys is that he was willing to take this long term. So, instead of juggling her and the rest of his social life he decided to ditch his social life and plow all efforts into her. He became a recluse hanging out with only her, going to class, then going home etc. You'd never see them in public except together. They were afraid to go out along it seemed.

Honestly much of the university would talk behind their back by 4th year. They were known as "that couple". His arm was always around her back, neither of them would talk to anybody etc. It was weird. His mother and brothers were upset by it and then finally we all gave up on him because it was like lordzero described. Just too much work and he'd never be able to do anything anyway.

I remember for a while him and I would go to these wrestling nights (like jiu jitsu and kick boxing training or whatever) for about 90 minutes a night. After the second or third night he quit and the reason was he told me was that when he was away from her he was constantly worrying about her and he just couldn't stand to be away from her. For some weeks she'd come home and find "notes" on her door. Freaky things written in weird handwriting. Nothing all that offensive though.

However she refused to report them and so one day he spent all day in her room keeping an eye under the door. Looking back it seems more than likely that she was planting these to sucker him into being with her more. Wouldn't surprise me in the least. She didn't have a loving family, no friends like I mentioned. She sprang a trap and he fell for it.
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oh my gawd... that's absolutely brutal.. now i can just picture their life fully from your few paragraphs.. man!! i would not be able to handle that... whoa! i doubt his life is going too much up from here unless he loses the girl and gets in touch with some other human beings again!
 
oh my gawd... that's absolutely brutal.. now i can just picture their life fully from your few paragraphs.. man!! i would not be able to handle that... whoa! i doubt his life is going too much up from here unless he loses the girl and gets in touch with some other human beings again!
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For a long time now he has burried himself in school work. Sadly he's a philosophy major (we all know how sad they are), so basically his life is philosophy and her. He is doing some graduate stuff or something. Then he can teach it. I hope they never have children, but she has such terrible eating habits perhaps she's not healthy enough to have them.

 
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