My fiance went bonkers

[kherman]

Yes, I know it was my fault, but i'm sick of being asked 10 times within 5 minutes to go to the same place. No, I don't like shopping for crap I don't need when I have no reason to go to a certain store.

Job Lot is a store that sells overstock they buy from warehouses. Usually at a good discount.

Anyways, here's the conversation:
Her: "Let's go to Job Lot."
Me: "No."

... 10 seconds ...

Her: "Let's go to Job Lot."
Me: "No."

.... 30 seconds later ... starting to look diasappointed ...

Her: "Let's go to Job Lot."
Me: "honey, I don't want to go shoppoing."
Her: "Please?"
Me: "Honey, if you wantto go, you can go. I don't want to."

... slight delay ... now I'm startingto get ticked. No means no.
Her: "You can go with me for my birthday present."
Me: "I'm already buying you a $350 exxercise bike for your birthday."

ALL HELL BRAKES LOOSE! WW3 starts in my house!

She got mad becasue the bike doesn't matter(it's a material object) and she wants to spend time with me. BLA BLA BLA.
Damn it, I don't want to go shopping and if she wants me to spend time with her, stay home and watch TV with me and talk to me. Play a board game. Anything, I simply didn't wantto go shopping.

This is the most upset she has ever been with me. it was really bad. No, not that time of hte month.

Anyone ever have this happen to them?
Any gals out there want to explain this to me?
Offer advice please.
Anything I can do tonight?
Should I just get drunk and ignore her?
No stubbing will be involved, this is my fiance!

 

When this happens to me, I say sure, let's go shopping at Sears for tools.

Works like a charm.

 

[Migroo]

Yes, if she is worth it, go shopping.

Swallow your pride and let her have this one. Its worth it. Make it known that you would prefer not to and the only reason youre going is to be with her. She will know she owes you one.

This has worked extremely well for me, and in the same situation I have even half enjoyed 'hanging' with my GF while she goes shopping.

 

[kherman]

The thing is, I have asked her on occasion, to go shopping to Home Depot or Sears and she says no.

I drop it. I ask once!!!!!!

Hahaha, "let's go shopping at Sears for tools." Might use that one, but then I have to go shopping for crap in the mall for no reason. It still back fires.

 

[ScrapSilicon]

I like going with g/f to Lerners.. but get chewed on a lot for oglin'

 

[kranky]

In her mind, going to Job Lot was "doing something together".
In your mind, it was "shopping for crap I don't need when I have no reason to go to a certain store."

That's why there was trouble. When you said you didn't want to go, she heard it as "I don't want to do anything with you."

 

[TranceNation]

hmmm...... i say you get off your lazy *ss

 

[db]

It comes down to this: If the situation is just as equal when you want to do something, then that's fair. If it's only important if she wants to do it but not when you want to do it, then she's into manipulation and is selfish. Things will never change, and it's a mistake to think they will.
Sorry to be so blunt, but that's what it is.

 

[FettsBabe]

She doesn't always have to do what you want to do. You should do some things she wants to do. Maybe you could have said "ok, honey lets go to Job Lot, but afterwards can we watch TV the rest of the evening?"

You are going to have to do things you don't want to do on certain days just like she has to. Compromise and giving makes a marriage/dating work. Without it you have nothing.

 

[CaesarX]

If she wants you to go with her, then go. You don't have to enjoy it, just do it for her.

 

[Migroo]

Originally posted by: FettsBabeCompromise and giving makes a marriage/dating work. Without it you have nothing.

Absolutely

 

[Aquaman]

I think she went 'Bitchlistic on you

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: kranky
In her mind, going to Job Lot was "doing something together".
In your mind, it was "shopping for crap I don't need when I have no reason to go to a certain store."

That's why there was trouble. When you said you didn't want to go, she heard it as "I don't want to do anything with you."

Oh my god, that's exactly the problem. You nailed it down exacty. I didn't realize it till just now. I have to divert the "together activity" to something we both agree on, not just say no.

 

[db]

Originally posted by: kranky
In her mind, going to Job Lot was "doing something together".
In your mind, it was "shopping for crap I don't need when I have no reason to go to a certain store."

That's why there was trouble. When you said you didn't want to go, she heard it as "I don't want to do anything with you."

kranky has a good point there.
You each need to see it from the other's viewpoint to know where they are coming from.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: CaesarX
If she wants you to go with her, then go. You don't have to enjoy it, just do it for her.

If this were the case, I'd be going to Job Lot or an arts and crafts store everday after work. Well, 3 days a week atleast. You see, it's not a simple "Yes dear" everytime she wants ot do something. i have to say no sometimes.

 

[CaesarX]

If this were the case, I'd be going to Job Lot or an arts and crafts store everday after work. Well, 3 days a week atleast. You see, it's not a simple "Yes dear" everytime she wants ot do something. i have to say no sometimes.

So talk to her, tell her how you feel about this.

 

[Hammer]

it's called nagging. yes women do it.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: Migroo

Originally posted by: FettsBabeCompromise and giving makes a marriage/dating work. Without it you have nothing.

Absolutely

Agree. I love doing stuff with her, but we have a budget too and going out 3-4 nights a week is not a good thing for hte budget. Yes, more discussion than "no" must occur in the future.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: db

Originally posted by: kranky
In her mind, going to Job Lot was "doing something together".
In your mind, it was "shopping for crap I don't need when I have no reason to go to a certain store."

That's why there was trouble. When you said you didn't want to go, she heard it as "I don't want to do anything with you."

kranky has a good point there.
You each need to see it from the other's viewpoint to know where they are coming from.

Post right in front of yours:

Oh my god, that's exactly the problem. You nailed it down exacty. I didn't realize it till just now. I have to divert the "together activity" to something we both agree on, not just say no.

Ya, Kranky nailed this one on the head !!!!

 

[Waveslidin]

Dude, just suck it up and go. As you know by now, it is probably far less painful to just go ahead and do it instead of suffering through the hell you currently are.

 

[db]

We all have things we like to do that the other finds boring. Her waiting around while you stare at some tools is just a boring as you waiting around for her to try on some clothes. When both of you realize that, then what matters is whether or not you are willing to be bored but do it anyway to spend time together, since that is important to the other.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: hammer09
it's called nagging. yes women do it.

That's the other problem. my mom has nagged me all my life about stupid sh!t even. Not just clean your room. YOu want more mashed potatoes repeatadly athe dinner table. After 20 years, I have issues with being nagged. my fiance knows this. Not to put the blame on her, but it is part of the problem in last nights event. That's where the thought 'now I'm starting to get ticked. No means no.' comes from in the first post of mine. I snap easily when nagged.

 

[kherman]

Originally posted by: Waveslidin
Dude, just suck it up and go. As you know by now, it is probably far less painful to just go ahead and do it instead of suffering through the hell you currently are.

Double edged sword. 3 hockey games were on last night!!! A flyers game, a Rangers game and one I care less for, butlike, the Bruins. OK, this is a sore excuse I know suckingit up is neccessary sometimes and I'd probably have fun going, but I hate Job Lot. Pet store, sure. job Lot is just boring and the fiance stays there for 30 minutes. I dread it! I'd rather masterbate to gay pron than go to job Lot!

 

[Argo]

kherman, where in CT do you live?

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: kherman

Originally posted by: Waveslidin
Dude, just suck it up and go. As you know by now, it is probably far less painful to just go ahead and do it instead of suffering through the hell you currently are.

Double edged sword. 3 hockey games were on last night!!! A flyers game, a Rangers game and one I care less for, butlike, the Bruins. OK, this is a sore excuse I know suckingit up is neccessary sometimes and I'd probably have fun going, but I hate Job Lot. Pet store, sure. job Lot is just boring and the fiance stays there for 30 minutes. I dread it! I'd rather masterbate to gay pron than go to job Lot!

Ouch......... now that is what I call a hate on for Job Lot

Cheers,
Aquaman