- Jun 10, 2005
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So yesterday morning my girlfriend AND I had some wake up early morning sex. Afterwards, both the condom and wrapper ended up on the ground of the bedroom. Thats pretty typical because we'll hang out in bed for a while and i'll pick it up once i get up.
Anyway, I decide I need to make coffee. I get up and she gets up too. She left the room and apparently didn't close the door. Ten seconds later I hear a crinckling sound from the dinning room. I find my new puppy (here) under the table chewing on the wrapper. I grabbed it from her and threw it away. FOr a moment it was all good.
Then something clicked in my pre-coffeed brain. O sh!t. How did she get the wrapper? And if she got the wrapper where was....
I ran to the bedroom (which had the door still open) and looked down to see exactly what I feared I'd see. Nothing.
It was gone. The just used condom had disappeared.
"Honey! Did you throw away the condom?" I yelled, even though i already knew the answer.
"No. Why?" she responded from the bathroom across the hall.
"Oh Fvck. The dog ate the condom"
I looked over to cute little Sasha and she wagged her tail and in the way of Golden Retrivers smiled. You b!tch, i thought.
We called the vet and was told to give her a couple teaspoons full of Hydrogen Peroxide to make her vomit because if we didn't the condom could get her intestines messed up and need emergency surgury.
We gave her the peroxide because i certainily didn't want the dog to get cut up and have my vet pull a tangeld condom out of her. Just the thought made me want to vomit.
In five minues after the peroxide the puppy vommited. And there it was, covered in puppy vomit. She hadn't even chewed the thing. It was completey whole and entirely disgusting.
That was my Sunday morning. It was awful (but fully redeemed with the Lakers later that afternoon).
CLIFFS-
1. Dog ate just used condom
2. Could need surgury
3. Made her vomit it back out
4. Day started crappy, then the Lakers won and everything was good.
Anyway, I decide I need to make coffee. I get up and she gets up too. She left the room and apparently didn't close the door. Ten seconds later I hear a crinckling sound from the dinning room. I find my new puppy (here) under the table chewing on the wrapper. I grabbed it from her and threw it away. FOr a moment it was all good.
Then something clicked in my pre-coffeed brain. O sh!t. How did she get the wrapper? And if she got the wrapper where was....
I ran to the bedroom (which had the door still open) and looked down to see exactly what I feared I'd see. Nothing.
It was gone. The just used condom had disappeared.
"Honey! Did you throw away the condom?" I yelled, even though i already knew the answer.
"No. Why?" she responded from the bathroom across the hall.
"Oh Fvck. The dog ate the condom"
I looked over to cute little Sasha and she wagged her tail and in the way of Golden Retrivers smiled. You b!tch, i thought.
We called the vet and was told to give her a couple teaspoons full of Hydrogen Peroxide to make her vomit because if we didn't the condom could get her intestines messed up and need emergency surgury.
We gave her the peroxide because i certainily didn't want the dog to get cut up and have my vet pull a tangeld condom out of her. Just the thought made me want to vomit.
In five minues after the peroxide the puppy vommited. And there it was, covered in puppy vomit. She hadn't even chewed the thing. It was completey whole and entirely disgusting.
That was my Sunday morning. It was awful (but fully redeemed with the Lakers later that afternoon).
CLIFFS-
1. Dog ate just used condom
2. Could need surgury
3. Made her vomit it back out
4. Day started crappy, then the Lakers won and everything was good.
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