Before I go googling shit I figured i'd come here first. Now please keep personal opinions on whether you see this as a big deal out of here please. Basically the mother of my daughter wants to change my daughters name from Jenna Celine <my last name> to Jenna Celine <my last name> <her last name>. No hyphen..just two last names. Besides the fact of the possible confusion that can have later on in life, her name would be considered my daughter's last name. So what rights do I have? We split up and it was done very peacefully. We have not gone to court for anything and nor do we plan to. We figured we could handle everything without all that.
My Daughter's Mother Wants To Change My Daughter's Name
- Thread starter MaverickBP
- Start date
http://www.andrewfosterlaw.com...-BC290E0E00D8964F.html
After my divorce is final and I return to my former name, can I change the last name of my children as well?
Traditionally, courts ruled that a father had an automatic right to have his child keep his last name if he continued to actively perform his parental role. Although there is still some bias in this direction, it is no longer strictly true. Now a child's name may be changed by court petition when it is clearly in the best interest of the child to do so. When deciding whether to grant a name change, courts consider many factors, such as the length of time the father's name has been used, the strength of the mother-child relationship and the need of the child to identify with a new family unit (if the change involves remarriage). The courts must balance these factors against the strength and importance of the father-child relationship. What this all boils down to is that it's up to a judge to decide which name is in the child's best interest.
Keep in mind that, even if you do change your children's last name, you won't be changing the legally recognized identity of their father. Nor will a name change affect the rights or duties of either parent regarding visitation, child support or rights of inheritance. Changes such as these occur only if the parental roles are altered by court order -- for example, a new custody decree or a legal stepparent adoption.If your new spouse adopts your child through a stepparent adoption, the child's name can be changed as part of that procedure.
After my divorce is final and I return to my former name, can I change the last name of my children as well?
Traditionally, courts ruled that a father had an automatic right to have his child keep his last name if he continued to actively perform his parental role. Although there is still some bias in this direction, it is no longer strictly true. Now a child's name may be changed by court petition when it is clearly in the best interest of the child to do so. When deciding whether to grant a name change, courts consider many factors, such as the length of time the father's name has been used, the strength of the mother-child relationship and the need of the child to identify with a new family unit (if the change involves remarriage). The courts must balance these factors against the strength and importance of the father-child relationship. What this all boils down to is that it's up to a judge to decide which name is in the child's best interest.
Keep in mind that, even if you do change your children's last name, you won't be changing the legally recognized identity of their father. Nor will a name change affect the rights or duties of either parent regarding visitation, child support or rights of inheritance. Changes such as these occur only if the parental roles are altered by court order -- for example, a new custody decree or a legal stepparent adoption.If your new spouse adopts your child through a stepparent adoption, the child's name can be changed as part of that procedure.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
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Does it really matter? When she gets married it will change again.
Edt: Realized this could be considered a personal opinion. Sorry. you can disregard if you want.
Edt: Realized this could be considered a personal opinion. Sorry. you can disregard if you want.
Exactly.
And if you have handled it all peacefully, surely you can speak with her regarding this and your thoughts?
I know I don't know anything about your situation, but if you just have a verbal agreement with the mother to help support your daughter, then you are setting yourself up for some serious pain. I knew a guy that had to pay several years of back child support when the woman he knocked up finally went to court to get child support. He had been sending her checks every month, but the court didn't care about that.
ouch man, that hurts
um... can she even decide for herself? I dunno how old your daughter is, but I have a 17yr old sister who changes her mind left and right...
Yeah if you intend to do a DIY separation it would be best to get stuff in writing and be really anal about keeping a record. Even with all of this its still nothing like having a lawyer.
pontifex
Lifer
- Dec 5, 2000
- 43,804
- 46
- 91
My family is pissed that my sister used her (worthless, piece of shit, loser, fucking waste of life, alcoholic, woman beating, drugged up, criminal, douchebag) BF's last name for her 2 kids. That last name is like synomous with everything i just posted about the guy in this area.
She's obviously not the sharpest crayon in the box.
She's obviously not the sharpest crayon in the box.
She 3 months old so i'm guessing...a diaper change lol.
She tried just telling me that just because my name is on the certificate, doesn't give me any legal rights. BULLSHIT! That's exactly what it gives me and the notary made sure I knew that when I signed the document. Not to mention my DNA is all the rights i'll ever need.
I agree with you though and have thought of that. However I have 18 years of her carrying my last name i'd like to use up
Originally posted by: TheKub
Because having a combined last name is going to be worse than having two daddys...
I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that. I'm already having trouble with the idea of thinking another man is tucking my daughter in at night in the future.
I agree with that and she used other ladies doing the same with their kids. I pointed out the only time i've seen it is in cases like yours. However I am anything but that. That is not just my own self delusion either.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
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Wow. I had no idea. I just assumed your daughter was older.
I'd talk to a lawyer. Were you married to this woman?
Nope never. I could've easily taken her to court but I didn't want to do that to her. I live in a father's rights state (nevada) have a nice job (she's unemployed) live on my own with great credit (she lives at home and has crap credit) and have no problems with the law (she has tickets, history of being fired, etc). Not to mention she was put in a situation where she ended up signing over complete rights of her son to his father. I'm sure the court would frown on the reasons behind it. I really don't see a way i'd lose should i have taken her to court.
my brother is going through almost the identical situation. Except the crazy wife is doing it out of spite instead of necessity.
something needs to be done about divorce in this country, women should not have as much power. Ridiculous.
something needs to be done about divorce in this country, women should not have as much power. Ridiculous.
edro
Lifer
- Apr 5, 2002
- 24,326
- 68
- 91
Nope I understood what you were trying to say and didn't take it the wrong way. What you said is a very valid point on this subject so i'm glad you said it. If you didn't...I would've.
PowerEngineer
Diamond Member
- Oct 22, 2001
- 3,598
- 774
- 136
Just three months old? You must be in a really difficult situation. I hope you find a positive way to deal with it.
So maybe the "what does she want?" question needs to be morphed into "what do you believe is in her best interests?". A different last name than her mother and/or stepfather (and siblings?) would mean that she'll have a lot of explaining to do to friends and acquaintances as she grows up, and it's bound to weaken her sense of belonging in her family. I don't think I'd want to place that burden on my daughter.
I'm wondering what role you desire to play in the raising of your daughter. Do you believe that your involvement in her upbringing will be a positive thing for her? Admittedly there's a lot about this situation that we haven't heard, and so this may not be the right thing to do, but... Have you considered the possibility of letting her mother and stepfather "adopt" her?
Infants seldom use their last names. Perhaps you could propose a compromise that would allow them to change her last name in three years if their family situation remains stable. Just a thought...
Again, good luck in dealing with such a tough situation.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
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BTW-Have you asked her to wait a few years to see if this is something the child might want? What's the big hurry?
Maybe if you approached it from that angle she'd agree to back off on this for a while.
Maybe if you approached it from that angle she'd agree to back off on this for a while.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,550
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Infants no. However, my 5 year old son is very adamant about who he is. If we call him by anything other than his first name he tells us very firmly who he is by using his first name and last name.
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