My Damn Father Screwed Us Over Financially. What Should I/We Do?

[geokilla]

All right guys. My mom found out about this last October.

My damn father had been playing outside (as in s3x and shit), gambling, stocks, etc. to the point where we have I assume thousands of dollars in debts. Turns out he's been doing this for many years, and every time he lost money in gambling, he'd borrow money from credit card companies, take out a mortgage, and stuff. Now, my parents are divorced (good riddance) and we don't have to carry his debts anymore. My family excluding my damn father still lives in the same house while he's off somewhere with his bitch.

Now, we're forced to sell our house and move to a smaller house all thanks to my father when he was still part of the family. My mom says we can't sustain ourselves for like a couple of years because if we stay in the same house, it'll be very difficult financially. We have to pay off the mortgage, which was taken out twice so my father can minimize the loss from gambling and stocks and crap. My father is suppose to give us money every month, but lately he hasn't been doing that. I tell my mom to take it from him by force because it's his fault that put us into this hole. I also tell her that I don't want to move, and she doesn't either, but she said we'll have to do it sooner or later so we might as well do it now.

So what should we/I do? I seriously don't want to move and neither does anyone in the family. I live in Toronto, and so the rising housing prices just makes it harder for us to choose a "new" house.

Cliffs:

- Damn father does things a "good" father wouldn't do.
- Parents are now divorced and my mom wants to move to a smaller house
- Can't sustain ourselves in the long term due to financial difficulties
- I don't wanna move
- What can I do?

BTW, we're not like poor or anything, but it's just that thanks to my father, everything went from I guess bad to worse.

Mods, please feel free to edit this post if necessary. Fellow members, any input is greatly appreciated.

Edit: Please read the 100th post.

 

[TallBill]

Most mortages are not paid off in 10 years. Probably 95%.

 

[Bateluer]

If your 18, you can move out on your own in your own place. If your under 18, you're going to do what ever your mother tells you to do. If that means moving, then you're moving. Make the best of a bad situation.

Edit-

Originally posted by: TallBill
Most mortgages are not paid off in 10 years. Probably 95%.

Most mortgages are 30 year loans, with some being 40 year loans now.

 

[Vette73]

Do you have room for a roommate? Would help with the bills and give time to get dad to cough up some money

 

[finite automaton]

I too had to move because my parents divorced and my mom couldn't afford the house. Get the fck over it, there are worse things in life.

 

[crystal]

- Can't sustain ourselves in the long term due to financial difficulties -- Uh.. Move to a smaller place?

 

[Danman]

Re-finance? Not sure what kind of rate you have and can get, but this could be a viable option.

 

[Homerboy]

mortgage paid off in 10yrs? I wish!!! as does 99% of the population.
Welcome to the grown up world. You can't DO anything except what your mother is doing.... moving out of a situation she can't afford into one she can. That's called life and being a grown-up You have to do things you "do want to do" as the situation dictates.

 

[Chiropteran]

Is there any possibility that the previous owners hid millions of dollars in between the walls or under the floorboards?

 

[Eeezee]

Try refinancing

You could sell the house and move into an apartment if things are really bad.

 

[Ryan]

Suck up your pride, and live in something you can afford. - If you can't, then get a fucking job and help your parents out if the kind of house you live in really matters. - Continue living beyond your means, in a fiscal fairy tale.

Those are your options. Option one is the best - I don't understand why it should even matter to you, you'd think you'd learn from your father the evils of excess and materialism, I guess that's a horse you're going to fall off multiple times. Moving sucks, but continuing to live as you currently are is stupid.

 

[sutahz]

Is sex a bad word? If so, why do government forms have that word on them?
Moving isn't the best thing in the world but get use to it, life isnt all video games and lollipops.

Damn is a cuss word, sex is not. Hey, at least your not poor right? Could always be worse.

 

[waggy]

you can tell with the post you are a neive immature kid.

its SEX not s3x. i they7 are in debt thousands thats not bad. could be far far worse. Also i doubt VERY VERY much your mother is innocent in this as well. I doubt its 100% your fathers fault.

also get the fuck over it. thats life if you can't live there now because your father is moving on that is his decision. IF your mother can't afford it move.

you think a mortgage is paid off in 10 years. try 30 (even remember seeing a 90 yr oen offered)

 

[Homerboy]

I have another idea... sell the computer in your sig for 1 months mortgage.
That will help right? Or do you want your cake and eat it too?

 

[Agentbolt]

If the house was only in your father's name, your mom would have known it had 2 mortages on it when she got it in the divorce, which means she's retarded for taking it when she knew she wouldn't be able to afford the payments.

OR if the house was in both their names, then how the HELL did she not know a second mortage was getting taken out to cover gambling debts? Why would she agree to that?

Either way, it sounds like your whole family is pretty sorely lacking the brains department. Move to a smaller house and consider it a lesson learned.

 

[nakedfrog]

Be supportive of your mom's decision because she's having a rough enough time as it is without your whining?

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: waggy
you can tell with the post you are a neive immature kid.

its SEX not s3x.

likely leetspeak[/quote]

 

[geokilla]

Actually. It could've been paid off like 3 years ago. Currently, the house is worth nearly twice as much as it was when we first bought it. We first bought the house for around $240,000 and we coulda paid it off like 3 years ago. Now, the house is worth around $400,000.

I'm 16 and I would get a job, but my mom doesn't really approve of that idea.

I know if my mom says we have to move, then we'll have to move. But I was wondering if there were any good alternatives that could help us financially. We are going to downsize if we move, but the problem is that all of the houses in the area where she wants to go is rather expensive. If the houses are to be in the $25 to $300,000 range, the house is really old, or high maintenance fees. My sister doesn't like the idea of moving to an apartment either.

She says we can afford it, but it's just that it'll be stressed. However, we have lots of junk in the house and I don't see why we can't just rent the basement out or something as a secondary source of income. The basement isn't used that much anyways except for storage and to wash and dry clothes.

I know I may be ranting a bit and stuff. Forgive me?

 

[Homerboy]

I shoulda got the lawnchair and popcorn out earlier....

 

[rezinn]

Find a nice, smaller place and move. Not the end of the world. With a smaller family you need less room anyway. I would welcome having a smaller house if I didn't need the room, especially because then I could throw away or give away a bunch of stuff I didn't want.

 

[spidey07]

1) You offer to take over the mortgage for her
2) You move out and put a roof over your own head
3) You do what the hell you're told and you do what's best for your family now. You're not allowed to be selfish, she's the parent, she makes the decisions - you follow them.

That's really about it.

 

[bonkers325]

give it up and move to a smaller house. theres nothing you can do long term to save your house, so just move out and deal with it. even if you work full time to scrounge up some cash to pay the monthly mortgage, you are literally sacrificing yourself to save a house at the cost of your own future (i assume you are 18ish, going to college soon, and shouldnt be stuck at home working a dead end job paying the bills).

also, i dont understand why there is so much hate in this thread. i guess everyone likes to brag about how fucked up their lives were when they were young. he asked for advice, not for everyone's sob story.

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog
Be supportive of your mom's decision because she's having a rough enough time as it is without your whining?

:thumbsup:

it sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do... if your mom can't afford it, what choice does she have?

I used to live in a really nice apartment with a roommate... when he decided to move-out, he left me with the lease and I had 5 months of living paycheck to paycheck and having to dip into my savings before moving into a place I could afford on me own.

sure, sometimes I miss having an office, giant living room, huge kitchen, etc, but I manage to live just fine in my 700 square foot apartment too.

 

[tfinch2]

Originally posted by: geokilla
Actually. It could've been paid off like 3 years ago. Currently, the house is worth nearly twice as much as it was when we first bought it. We first bought the house for around $240,000 and we coulda paid it off like 3 years ago. Now, the house is worth around $400,000.

 

[Ryan]

Could have, would have, should have - you're dealing with too many generalities and possibilities - too bad it didn't happen, so you can file that argument right into the trash. There are come concessions you're going to have to make, realize that "wants" are not based on the same plane of reality that "need" happens to exist in.