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My coworker is driving up the wall

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GeekDrew

Diamond Member
Jun 7, 2000
9,098
13
81
You ought to try one of my coworkers on for size. She and this guy would get along excellently.

Oh, and did I mention that she is so fvcking incompetent (as is everyone else in this office) that she thinks I "LOCKED A WORD DOCUMENT FROM CHANGES", and made it so that nobody but me can access it.... when the only thing I did was add a header to a document? :confused:

More than one person has resigned as a result of her, and I'm probably next in line. Goddammed government.
 

bctbct

Diamond Member
Dec 22, 2005
4,868
1
0
Just take him out for a beer, maybe this could blossom into a relationship for you guys. :thumbsup:
 

shimsham

Lifer
May 9, 2002
10,765
0
0
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
Originally posted by: shimsham
no need for a big soliloquy. just calmly say "Hal, i dont care. im here to work, then go home. leave me alone." then ignore him.


Ummmm...mind your own bees wax. A soliloquy is EXACTLY whats in order here. For the abuse he's endured thusfar he should, at a minimum, get to creatively tell the guy off.


if he hates all the drama the guy brings, why cause more? sure creative would be fun that day, but is all the other bullshat that will follow really worth it to tell some dill hole off?

eh, not for me. a nice stfu, please and be done.
 

Eeezee

Diamond Member
Jul 23, 2005
9,923
0
0
Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
introduce him to ATOT...he will leave you alone...well at least until he gets banned....
No, don't you dare bring him to ATOT
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: Eeezee
Go purchase a Nazi uniform. The next time he pisses you off and you want him to go away, just start putting it on. Start with a nazi helmet with the swastika mark and see if that doesn't get him to go away. Put on the uniform if it doesn't. Start muttering at him in German if he still won't leave. For the piece de resistance, hand him a copy of Mein Kampf.

When he's gone, get rid of the evidence!!! He'll think you're a Nazi and never want to speak to you again. Problem solved

Hahaha, I actually own a copy of Main Kampf. Don't ask, I was curious about the book and controversial non-fiction/biographies are what I like to read. Anyways, maybe I should just bring that book into work and sit in out right next to me.
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: compnovice
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
I've posted about this guy here a few times.

The annoying coworker:
About 60, white jewish male. Short, bald, glasses, stocky, has all these fresh skin blemishes because he picks at them (and I've seen him put the scab in his mouth before, I sh!t you not.) He has a 17 year old daughter who is in eleventh grade and she just had a baby a month ago. She left the house after she had the baby to move in with the boyfriend. It turns out the boyfriend isn't even the real father, and the boyfriend and his parents are welcoming this bastard child and it's mother. Last week, the guy breaks up with this girl and moves back in with father (annoying coworker.) And for the past 4 months, you can imagine the constant complaining and bickering about his life we have to hear.
wtf... are they brother and sister :confused:

Im sorry, I should have been more clear. Hal is the name of the annoying guy. He has a 17 year old daughter. The daughter had a baby. The daughter has a boyfriend who is not the father. They dont know who the father is. The daughter kinda moved in with the boyfriend and his parents (I dont know why they took that burden and accepted responsibility.) A week ago, the boyfriend breaks up with Hal's daughter forcing her to move back home with Hal.
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: bctbct
Just take him out for a beer, maybe this could blossom into a relationship for you guys. :thumbsup:

How about I take your mother out for a beer and blossom a relationship with her? :)
 

jhayx7

Platinum Member
Oct 1, 2005
2,226
0
0
Originally posted by: Ausm
I am sandwhiched between two raging bible thumpers and I will trade you anyday :)


Ausm
I feel your pain!

Tell them to pray for you, daily :p
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,403
1
0
I've found that the most obnoxious, irritating people are usually the ones most obvlivious to your efforts to avoid them.

I had a coworker at my previous job who almost fit the OP's coworker to the letter. He literally spent half the day on the phone with his ex-wife bitching, yelling, cussing, etc. If it wasn't his ex-wife, it was his lawyer. If it wasn't his lawyer, it was his daughter. The guy had zero control of his life and it invaded EVERYONE'S workspace.

He was also very poor at this job. He had zero troubleshooting/analytical skills and would always ask me for "the answer". It got to the point where he would start talking to me and I would literally turn my back to him and continue typing. I might even pick up the telephone and make a call. All of these "go the fsck away" signs would just fly right over his head.

People: if you start talking to someone and they throw a stapler at your forehead, kick you in the shins, start talking to someone else while you're in mid-sentence, or just plain turn their back to you, THEN THAT PERSON DOESN'T WANT TO FSCKING INTERACT WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Some people just can't take a hint and F/O.
 

krunchykrome

Lifer
Dec 28, 2003
13,413
1
0
Originally posted by: jbourne77
I've found that the most obnoxious, irritating people are usually the ones most obvlivious to your efforts to avoid them.

I had a coworker at my previous job who almost fit the OP's coworker to the letter. He literally spent half the day on the phone with his ex-wife bitching, yelling, cussing, etc. If it wasn't his ex-wife, it was his lawyer. If it wasn't his lawyer, it was his daughter. The guy had zero control of his life and it invaded EVERYONE'S workspace.

He was also very poor at this job. He had zero troubleshooting/analytical skills and would always ask me for "the answer". It got to the point where he would start talking to me and I would literally turn my back to him and continue typing. I might even pick up the telephone and make a call. All of these "go the fsck away" signs would just fly right over his head.

People: if you start talking to someone and they throw a stapler at your forehead, kick you in the shins, start talking to someone else while you're in mid-sentence, or just plain turn their back to you, THEN THAT PERSON DOESN'T WANT TO FSCKING INTERACT WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Some people just can't take a hint and F/O.

Yea, I've tried to give him a hint. I figured that would be a little more polite and professional than to just tell him to f*ck off. So, lately when he comes over and trys to talk to me, I turn my back to him and play on the computer. I'll try the making a phone call thing though.
 

eLiu

Diamond Member
Jun 4, 2001
6,407
1
0
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
I've posted about this guy here a few times.

The annoying coworker:
About 60, white jewish male. Short, bald, glasses, stocky, has all these fresh skin blemishes because he picks at them (and I've seen him put the scab in his mouth before, I sh!t you not.) He has a 17 year old daughter who is in eleventh grade and she just had a baby a month ago. She left the house after she had the baby to move in with the boyfriend. It turns out the boyfriend isn't even the real father, and the boyfriend and his parents are welcoming this bastard child and it's mother. Last week, the guy breaks up with this girl and moves back in with father (annoying coworker.) And for the past 4 months, you can imagine the constant complaining and bickering about his life we have to hear.

Here are the things he does that piss me the f*ck off:
1. He f*cked with the thermostat early in the morning before anyone got here and tried to make it warmer for him. He's always complaining that it's too cold. He ended up breaking the thermostat and we all acknowledged it.

2.He habitually complains, gossips, easedrops, snoops around your cubicle.

3.He comes over to your cubicle and tells you the latest thing he read on the news, and 99% of the time, it's something he's complaining about.

4.We hear about his damn daughter every frickin day.

5.He gossips like no other. Today, when everyone left, he comes over to me and tells me he clocked another employee's time today and he begins to complain that she and everyone else i this company is lazy and works short hours. (This guy is 60 and he's a staff accountant I. He almost didnt even get the job because he doesnt even have a degree in accounting.)

6.He picks everything up in my cubicle from my cell phone, to my lunch, to my folders.

7.He snoops around asking what Im doing, what this is, whats that for.

8.He comes in my cubicle and stands in front of my fan cooling himself down.

9.He wanders around the office. It seems he's leaving his cubicle every 5 minutes to walk around. (I dont care much about this as long as he doesnt bother me.)

10.All day long, if he's not bothering you, you can hear him cursing and yelling at his computer or to himself.

The list goes on.


Now can you see why Im sooooo f*cking pissed!!!
End him.

Edit: Leave this on loop.

JA! WIR MÜSSEN DIE JUDEN AUSROTTEN!! Töten sie die Juden!, Wir können nicht noch stehen, bis alle tot sind! Es ist Zeit für Säuberung! Wir müssen der Juden ausrotten!
 

lokiju

Lifer
May 29, 2003
18,536
4
0
Sounds exactly like some user I'd have to deal with from time to time at an old job, the guy just annoyed the shyte out of me and I'd avoid him at all cost.

At least I was in the IT department which required you to have finger print access to get in so I was usually safe back there.

 

Nerva

Platinum Member
Jul 26, 2005
2,796
0
0
i have a feeling once i start work, i will have a lot of people like this. they are just called managing directors with corner offices. :)
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,727
916
126
I really think it's an amazing feat to be "driving up a wall". Remember those Ford Explorer commercials ? "Go Anywhere". Amazing.
 

Stuxnet

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2005
8,403
1
0
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
I'll try the making a phone call thing though.
The funny thing is that something like this would seem like a very rude thing to do, but you'll be amazed by the fact that no matter how rude you are, people like this will not key into it and they'll just keep yammering on.

There were times when I'd be walking down the hallway and I'd encounter the aforementioned coworker. We'd make eye contact and I'd literally do a 180 and get away from him.

This would offend most people, but to someone who's stuck in their own little world and thinks the rest of us were placed here to act as a set of ears into which they can b1tch, moan, and unload, it's nothing.

One of my other coworkers always got a kick out of my attempts to avoid conversation with this guy though. It's actually pretty funny when you see someone start talking to someone else, and while in mid-sentence, that someone turns their back, picks up the phone, and starts talking to an imaginary person. It doesn't get much less subtle than that!

Here are all of the things I tried (unsuccessfully, I might add):

Annoying Coworker: "Hey jbourne77 my wife is a wh0re, my daughter hates me, and I'm getting a NullPointerException that I can't figure out."

jbourne77-a: *swivels chair back around to desk and continues working*
jbourne77-b: *swivels chair back around to desk and makes phone call*
jbourne77-c: *gets up and leaves*
jbourne77-d: *glances beyond Annoying Coworker and initiates conversation with person situated behind Annoying Coworker*
jbourne77-e: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "I don't know"
jbourne77-f: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "I don't care"
jbourne77-g: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "I'm not interested"
jbourne77-h: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "No one is interested"
jbourne77-i: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "You're still here?"
jbourne77-j: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "How are you still here?"
jbourne77-k: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "Who is responsible for you still being here?"
jbourne77-l: *interrupts Annoying Coworker* "We should be allowed to bring firearms to work"

You can come up with a million ways to entertain yourself and others around you in these situations, but you need to go into it with the proper mindset: knowing deep down that it's not really going to accomplish anything outside of your own little amusement.
 

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