My cat has failed to live up to her obligations as Pet

[Art Vandelay]

Originally posted by: Molondo
When you call to a dog, he comes enthusiastically. When you call for your cat, it will take a message and get back to you later.

dogs>cats.

So you want a slave?

Sorry, cats > dogs.

 

[Molondo]

no, i just want a pet that will be playfull. Not someone with an additude.

 

[MartyMcFly3]

Did you actually sign a binding contract with the cat or was this just some undocumented agreement the two of you made?

 

[bigredguy]

Originally posted by: Molondo
When you call to a dog, he comes enthusiastically. When you call for your cat, it will take a message and get back to you later.

dogs>cats.

You just had crappy cats.
My cats -
Come when called.
Play fetch.
Rarely meow.
Keep themselves groomed.

And i don't understand why it's one or the other, why can't someone like dogs and cats?

 

[LordMaul]

Got a flat shovel handy?

 

[Orsorum]

I agree, I think this is the fault of the owner. I've cohabitated with several cats in my life adn they've all been friendly and warm to me, but, me and my family were kind and loving to them first. I think it has to do with how the animal is raised.

 

[schdaddy]

Great rant, very formal. I dig it
Although, my cat is a total love slut & mellow.

 

[Shadowknight]

Basically, it's a girlfriend minus the sex?

 

[imported_goku]

Generally speaking, male cats are cooler than female cats, you should have gotten a male cat.

 

[Azraele]

Get the cat a companion.

 

[Mucho]

You should euthanasia yourself!

 

[SamurAchzar]

Congratulations, you've got yourself a White Trash cat. It probably likes Oreos. The excess hair is an attempt at growing a mullet.
Now buy it a trailer and a deep fryer and you're all set.

 

[DaFOBulous1]

Originally posted by: Frackal
I inherited a cat awhile back.

As per the standard Pet-Owner agreement, I provide the cat with:


-Food
-Shelter
-Water
-Medical care
-Petting and a lap upon which she may sit

Her obligations as Pet are to provide:

-Companionship
-Pleasantness


She has not fufilled either of these obligations; rather, she causes:


-Misery
-Annoyance
-Irritation
-Exasperation


Due predominantly to the following behaviors:


-Constant meowing in a high pitched and aurally unpleasant manner in the extreme
-Excessive shedding and a failure to properly self-groom, resulting in masses of cat hair around the house
-A constant and absolute unwillingness to move herself from my path regardless of my speed or urgency
- A general ill-manner and unmistakable rudeness in the tone of the aforementioned chronic "meowing"
- A tendency to await me each morning outside the door of my room with a set of demands such as "going outside," "wanting a treat," "wanting to be petted," voiced in the aforementioned way, causing extreme unpleasantness in the early hour
- A habit of puking on the carpet
- Weight gain, which combined with her unwillingness to properly self-groom, results in much visual offense


Therefore, given that the breach of the generally understood agreement of mutual benefits that should exist between owner and pet, I hereby decide that I have the right to terminate this relationship with extreme prejudice and ship the cat elsewhere.


Yes/No?

She sounds like my ex....uggggh

 

[imported_griffis]

Originally posted by: Frackal
This is mainly a humor thread you dorks. The cat was 7 human years old when I got it, keeping it as a favor to a family member. I give her plenty of attention, but she is irreconcilable. She's part siamese and frankly a miserable bitch of an animal. Giving her more attention only teaches her that meowing incessantly works. I am quite correct in my OP indictment. If I do send her off it will simply be back to my sister once she moves into a place that allows animals

In all seriousness I would take her to the vet. I had the same problem with the constant meowing and come to find out my cat was missing a tooth and had an infection in it's place. once we got it fixed his meowing went down to a very slight minimum. Get her checked out it might be worth your while

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: chambersc
Yes. I vote euthenasia. Chattle property ftw.

That's pretty harsh. What will the cat do with Frackal out of the way?



Frackal - btw, smart women know how to gauge men by how the feel about and treat cats. A control freak cannot handle or deal with cats. Liking dogs and hating cats (you do not fall into it) is a sign that a guy may expect the same behavior from his girlfriend/wife (no independence/must be subservient).

 

[HomeBrewerDude]

:beer: to the rant and funny replies!

 

[letdown427]

You sir, are funny.

 

[letdown427]

Originally posted by: gsellis
....Frackal - btw, smart women know how to........

Fallacy.

 

[ch33zw1z]

have u asked ur cat about it, chances r he doesn't give a sh!t

 

[imported_Valdez]

I say destroy it. Put it in a ring against a battle monkey, I will train it myself... It will be a fight to the death, winner takes all (of whatever) and loser dies. Everybody wins. There are just two rules...

1. Cat get's no weapons, it can use it's claws.
2. Monkey has an eyepatch and a knife and is permitted to throw it's own poo as self defense (as they do.)

Problem solved.

 

[K1052]

If it is part Siamese its tempermant is going to be a little different. My mom has a Siamese mix that loves attention form the people she knows however even we cannot pick her up without her turning into a quad bladed beast of furious anger.

Since the cat is already an adult there is not much you can do other than limit its food intate (your fault if she is getting fat) and not encourage her bad behaviors.

The rest of the stuff you listed is fairly normal cat stuff. Get a dog if you are looking for unconditional love.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: bigredguy

Originally posted by: Molondo
When you call to a dog, he comes enthusiastically. When you call for your cat, it will take a message and get back to you later.

dogs>cats.

You just had crappy cats.
My cats -
Come when called.
Play fetch.
Rarely meow.
Keep themselves groomed.

And i don't understand why it's one or the other, why can't someone like dogs and cats?

No kidding, we have a cat and a dog. I much prefer the cat. The dog is needy, stinks 99% of the time, is constantly licking herself (which is really annoying at 3AM) and she craps all over the backyard. Cats are graceful, clean and they purr when you pet them. Cats FTW!!!

It's not that I dislike the dog, it's just that I prefer the cat. The dog belongs to my wife.

 

[gsellis]

Originally posted by: letdown427

Originally posted by: gsellis
....Frackal - btw, smart women know how to........

Fallacy.

You must hate cats and never met one because of it...

 

[ultimatebob]

Cats don't get overweight by themselves. You're probably overfeeding it, which might also explain the vomiting problem.

You sound more like a dog person anyway. Give it to a shelter, so it can find a more caring owner.

 

[j00fek]

just let it go, and forget about it