Mandarin is the work of the devil. Errr...actually...more like the Chinese Communist Party. Bastards.
I kinda speak "hoi-sahn-wah", and cantonese, so I guess that counts. I say "kinda" because I am a jook-sing too. I fumble with my inferior "ABC" chinese very often.
Actually, I'm very scared of asian women for that reason. They might just use you for citizenship or they'll kill you while you sleep. Not that American women wouldn't do that either, but the chance is lower...Think about it this way smack, at least they won't disown you if you marry someone that's not chinese
