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My 2nd cartoon

So

Lifer
Jul 2, 2001
25,915
2
81
Your art isn't bad, but you desperately need to work on your writing...
 

Zolty

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2005
3,603
0
0
Originally posted by: Nithin
Could you elaborate? Grammar? Words?
It isn't funny, you make a microsoft joke, and a fairly unoriginal one at that. I am not saying I can do better, but you might want to look for a writer to help out w/ the words.
 

So

Lifer
Jul 2, 2001
25,915
2
81
Originally posted by: Zolty
Originally posted by: Nithin
Could you elaborate? Grammar? Words?
It isn't funny, you make a microsoft joke, and a fairly unoriginal one at that. I am not saying I can do better, but you might want to look for a writer to help out w/ the words.
Agreed. It's just that your jokes (well, all two of them) don't really "work."
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
tough crowd. :) This is just a hobby for now so I will be doing the writing myself. Hopefully I'll improve over time.
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
Originally posted by: Zolty
Originally posted by: Nithin
Could you elaborate? Grammar? Words?
It isn't funny, you make a microsoft joke, and a fairly unoriginal one at that. I am not saying I can do better, but you might want to look for a writer to help out w/ the words.
it's also that the kidnappers use MS Software to plot Bill Gates' kidnapping. Which I thought was funny. Hehe. :D
 
Jun 19, 2004
10,861
1
81
not a tough crowd, just a not gonna bull shit ya crowd. Writing's lame, artwork is decent. With work I think you've got a lot of potential.
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
not a tough crowd, just a not gonna bull shit ya crowd. Writing's lame, artwork is decent. With work I think you've got a lot of potential.
ya, i understand. which is good, i know what i need to work on.
 

hanoverphist

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2006
9,930
23
76
Originally posted by: Nithin
Originally posted by: Mo0o
well your drawing is certainly better than my stick figures http://eckliptic.atothosting.com/terryyoung.png
but being real life, that was funny. :)
see? yours is the polar opposite... bad art (subjectively) and good writing. the irony in that worked. i giggled.

edit: ewps, that was to the stick figure guy. his was ironically funny. OP wasnt. not that it couldnt be, but needs work on jokes.
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
ya, it seems like good writing can pick up bad art, but not vice versa.
 

Mr Pickles

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2006
4,108
1
0
Originally posted by: Nithin
Originally posted by: MisterJackson
not a tough crowd, just a not gonna bull shit ya crowd. Writing's lame, artwork is decent. With work I think you've got a lot of potential.
ya, i understand. which is good, i know what i need to work on.
A lot of people draw their own things and then pitch a concept to a better writer. What do you think about that?
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
sure. if you have any good joke ideas, let me know. i'll try to draw it.
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
Originally posted by: Nithin
sure. if you have any good joke ideas, let me know. i'll try to draw it.
[EDIT] also if anyone comes up with a funnier version of my posts, i could draw that too.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
20,998
107
106
I think the art is well done for a cartoon, nice work. I might suggest using the stereotypical 2-D gridlines to represent the keyboard; I found the 13-key keyboard with the giant keys to be a little visually distracting. Also, give the geek two legs in the first panel. I liked the art, but the Microsoft joke in this one was a bit stale.

Maybe ATOT can suggest alternative captions for the two cartoons, using the same artwork.
Not that I'll do any better, but...
1: How much have we made so far selling those counterfeit Rolexes on ebay?
2: Don't know, boss. The password cracking bot we distributed stole all the money from our Paypal account, and I'm still trying to find it.
 

James Bond

Diamond Member
Jan 21, 2005
6,025
0
0
Originally posted by: Nithin
Originally posted by: Zolty
Originally posted by: Nithin
Could you elaborate? Grammar? Words?
It isn't funny, you make a microsoft joke, and a fairly unoriginal one at that. I am not saying I can do better, but you might want to look for a writer to help out w/ the words.
it's also that the kidnappers use MS Software to plot Bill Gates' kidnapping. Which I thought was funny. Hehe. :D
The irony in that is actually funny, but I don't think it really stands out in your comic because they don't look like kidnappers. They are dressed in suits/business atire, so you kind of expect them to be using Office. If they were dressed up like scrubs (kidnappers), I think it would be more ironic that the software wasn't working.
 

Phokus

Lifer
Nov 20, 1999
22,949
623
126
Dear Nithin,

You obviously have talent as an artist but your writing is lacking. I, on the other hand, am a genius at humor with no artistic talent. I say we team up and together we can rule the world!
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
Originally posted by: Tizyler
Originally posted by: Nithin
Originally posted by: Zolty
Originally posted by: Nithin
Could you elaborate? Grammar? Words?
It isn't funny, you make a microsoft joke, and a fairly unoriginal one at that. I am not saying I can do better, but you might want to look for a writer to help out w/ the words.
it's also that the kidnappers use MS Software to plot Bill Gates' kidnapping. Which I thought was funny. Hehe. :D
The irony in that is actually funny, but I don't think it really stands out in your comic because they don't look like kidnappers. They are dressed in suits/business atire, so you kind of expect them to be using Office. If they were dressed up like scrubs (kidnappers), I think it would be more ironic that the software wasn't working.
i was trying to draw a mafia don, but didn't manage to actually make him look like one.
 

Nithin

Senior member
Dec 31, 2002
961
0
71
Originally posted by: Phokus
Dear Nithin,

You obviously have talent as an artist but your writing is lacking. I, on the other hand, am a genius at humor with no artistic talent. I say we team up and together we can rule the world!
sure dude! send me your ideas.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
20,998
107
106
Originally posted by: Nithin
i was trying to draw a mafia don, but didn't manage to actually make him look like one.
I picked up on it right away. It worked for me.
 

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