Move in with her parents...

Tavis

Senior member
Jun 20, 2000
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Has anyone here, who is married, ever moved in with his/her parents? My wife was recently laid off from her job and unemployment isn't cutting it and we're running short on options. She wants to go to school, but there is no way we can afford it under the current circumstances and we're definitely considering moving in with her parents (they have room to spare).. Anyone have any experience with this?
 

Scarpozzi

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
26,391
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I have a couple of friends that are artists and musicians if that's what you're asking.
 

NutBucket

Lifer
Aug 30, 2000
27,127
616
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In Asian families it isn't odd for a newly married couple to live with the groom's parents for a while. My cousin, now married 3 or 4 years, still has his mom and younger brother living in their house. Little brother is about 25, but you know what I mean.

Really, I don't see anything wrong with it. If you all get along it should be fine. Of course, you won't really know how well you get along until you're seeing your in-laws 24-7.
 

LeStEr

Diamond Member
Dec 28, 1999
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Depends if you can cope with living with her parents. Either way offer to repay them when all is said and done.
 

NogginBoink

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2002
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Do what's best for you and your family. Making sacrifices in times of economic hardship is nothing to be ashamed of.

Just set expectations of each other before moving in. You already have an idea of whether or not this will work; you're probably right.
 

MuffD

Diamond Member
May 31, 2000
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We had to do this for a little bit when we were waiting for our new house to be built because our house sold faster than we thought it would. Hardest thing to do!!!!!!!!!!
 

Tavis

Senior member
Jun 20, 2000
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We visit them quite often (at least once a week) and I think I could get along with them.. we'll have to wait and see once it is 24/7 though... :)
 

Que-TiP

Senior member
Dec 8, 1999
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In some countries its customary for the newlyweds to live with the bride's parents for a while. Either way it will be fun to high five her dad after you just did the nasty with his daughter. ;)
 

MemnochtheDevil

Senior member
Aug 19, 2001
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I lived with my parents for 4 months after school and before my wedding (my better half was out of the country for some of that while getting all the proper paperwork and visas, she's british). I know a friend who's fiancee lived in his parents basement while he finished his last year of school 10 hours away.

It's better than going broke, but be sure you (and the parents) know what your getting into. Especially have some idea of how long you plan on staying. It can be tough for everyone when your used to doing things your way and they have their own habits. And ask yourself if you can survive prolonged exposure to your in laws....

Memnoch
 

Damage

Senior member
Dec 3, 2001
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It's great.. father-inlaw gets to call you "Meathead" and you have all kinds of zany discussions....;)
 

radioouman

Diamond Member
Nov 4, 2002
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Sure! My parents have a nice furnished basement where we could live. In fact, we've thought about that before.

I'd do it, as long as you can survive with her parents.
 

fizmeister

Senior member
Oct 29, 2002
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Friend of mine came ou twith a CS degree from UT-Austin, couldn't find a job.

Stayed at his Parents' house, worked in his dad's gas stations. Went to school for one more year to get his b.a. in math...

Still has nothing, still lives there. But he's pretty content, and things seem to be working out (he just got engaged). He doesn't seem to be too bothered by it.
 

alm99

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2000
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its tough 24/7, but you can do it. It definitely makes moving out so much sweeter. I have yet to do it, but when we move back to NY its looking like I we will moving in with her parents for awhile, Its going to suck.
 

iamwiz82

Lifer
Jan 10, 2001
30,772
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not a chance in hell would i move in with either side of the family after marriage. Marriage before you both are financially secure is a pretty tough thing to do
 

Armitage

Banned
Feb 23, 2001
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You guys see that commercial ... don't remember which show.

[one side of wall, daughter & husband getting busy]
"Who's your daddy!"
"Who's your daddy!"
[other side of wall, mom & dad]
"I am"
"I'm her daddy!"


LoL, hardest I've ever laughed at a commercial.

Back OT, as others have said, in many countries/cultures it's not unusual at all for married children to live with their parents for extended periods. But you and your wife need to understand what you're getting into, and she needs to be open to future negotiations if things aren't working out.
 

db

Lifer
Dec 6, 1999
10,575
292
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This can be a very bad experience, especially if it gets to the point of you having a problem but your wife doesn't with living there. Then you get the old tug of war between her original family with all the emotional tie-ins, and your new family (you and her). Guess who's going to win? Not good for your relationship in any event.

At best, you should only do this if there is no other alternative, and for as short a time as possible.
 

Tavis

Senior member
Jun 20, 2000
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Thanks for everyone's input so far.. Right now I'm leaning towards doing it.. not going to happen until July when our lease is up, but good input so far.
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
6,745
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When you move in with them, you will be subject to their rules. I've been there and done that. That living arrangment probably partly contributed to my divorce.
 

Maverick

Diamond Member
Jun 14, 2000
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Originally posted by: Que-TiP
In some countries its customary for the newlyweds to live with the bride's parents for a while. Either way it will be fun to high five her dad after you just did the nasty with his daughter. ;)

lol reminds me of the time one of my roommates high fived another one after masturbating (they didn't really get along).
 

Tavis

Senior member
Jun 20, 2000
377
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Originally posted by: dirtboy
When you move in with them, you will be subject to their rules. I've been there and done that. That living arrangment probably partly contributed to my divorce.

How old were you? We would definitely be helping pay the rent and they are both pretty cool people, so I don't think we'd have any kind of problem with them telling us what we can/can't do...
 

cmdavid

Diamond Member
May 23, 2001
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i say it depends completely on the situation between you and her parents.... id hope that when i get married that my relationship w/ her parents is good enough that such a situation wouldnt be out of the question...
 

spyordie007

Diamond Member
May 28, 2001
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I'm about to get married, and there isnt a chance in hell we would live with either of our parents...

-Spy
 

dirtboy

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: Tavis
Originally posted by: dirtboy
When you move in with them, you will be subject to their rules. I've been there and done that. That living arrangment probably partly contributed to my divorce.

How old were you? We would definitely be helping pay the rent and they are both pretty cool people, so I don't think we'd have any kind of problem with them telling us what we can/can't do...

I was 23 at the time, paid rent, bought most of the food, spent money repairing the house...after all, you're a guest in their house, so be prepared to be subject to their rules and whims.
 

db

Lifer
Dec 6, 1999
10,575
292
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Things are different when it's 24/7. Same could apply to your best friend.