Most modern day Nerds take 6 hours longer to get a car deal made.

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,109
920
126
Sorry to say this, but there is a new age of education arriving on a car lot near you.
Most geeks have done their homework, already know what they want, whats available, and what is the right price to pay.

Take a Nerd, on the other hand, and he skulks onto the lot, in a most obscure way, parking way back, somewhere in the service department, so as to not blow his cover. His Volvo 240DL at hand, for his hasty escape, if needed.

He looks around, then cautiously pulls the door handle, making sure his notebook and pocket protector did not fall out , and his sunglasses did not slip above his eyes. The white skinny leg, clad in a white sock and Ked's, slowly slips out of the car. Too Late! Bob, the service manager, being fast on his feet, has already observed Mr. Birkenstock, and quickly phones the front desk. Nerd Alert, crossing the lot at vector 18!

Yes customers, we know all your tricks too! ;)

There are too many combined years of experience not to. :)

***Disclaimer- This thread is all in fun, not real world. ***
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,076
15,909
126
You knew our tricks before we had them. Thats because you started selling cars FIRST.
THEN we started buying them. Tis very difficult to buy something not for sale.

(Though, like many other things, the internet has proven this wrong.)

And its not a trick anyway. Its getting tired of the ass-poundings. Let us be for 5 seconds and maybe we would buy something the same day.
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,109
920
126
Soooo, anyway, Mr. Birkenstock, makes his way up to the showroom, where he is promptly greeted by Joe Knowitall.

Hi! Welcome to weblowyou motors. My name is Joe, and you are?

Jim...my name is Jim.
Joe: So what brings you by the dealership TODAY, Jim?
Jim: I want to check out the new Blivet's, in the new colors.
Joe: so you want to check out my new Blivet's in the new colors?
Jim: Yes
Joe: So, if I had a new Blivets, in the color you prefer, would you be an owner today?
Jim: well, not today, probably. I will need to check it out, then call my dad.
Joe: so you will check out my new Blivets, then call your dad?
Jim: I think so, but may I see one first?
Joe: sure Jim, they are right over here.
Joe: so now that you have seen them, what color did you have in mind?
Jim: The mango with the elephant skin seats.
Joe: Is that car properly equipped for you, or would you prefer something added?
Jim: I like it, but! I need an MP3 player.
Joe: Ok, so the color is right, you like the elf skin seats, but there is one thing you need, which is the MP3 player....
Joe: If I could get you that car, and include the MP3 player at a superb discount price, would we have a deal TODAY?
Jim: Gee, I don't know. I need to call my Dad.
Joe: Why do you need to call your Dad, if the car is right?
Jim: Because he advises me in all my financial affairs.
Joe: What does your Dad do for a living?
Jim: He is a bartender.
Joe: Jim, what was the last new car your Dad bought?
Jim: I think it was a Buick...but that was a long time ago, prolly 5 years before the Bankruptsy, and that's been 7 years ago.
Joe: So, Jim, not to be rude, or anything, but if your father went bankrupt, and hasn't bought a car for all of 13 years, how does he qualify to advise you on this deal?
Jim: Maybe he doesn't, so maybe I should call my credit uuuuunion?
Joe: What will the credit uuunion do for you?
Jim: They will advise me on the best interest rate
Joe: Jim, I thought you were in the market for a car. Now you tell me you are shopping for an interest rate?
Joe: Well, what kind of gas mileage were you hoping to get out of your new interest rate? ;)

Jim: I don't know, I need to think about it. Let me call me Dad.

LOL, I think they need someone's support, just to go take a crap. ;)

Now, enter the Geek:

Sales call comes in:
Receptionist: Thanks for calling weblowyou motors, how can I direct your call?
caller: I need to speak to a salesman
receptionist: one moment, while I connect you.......
Joe: Thanks for holding, this is Joe, how may I assist you?
caller: I've read Edmunds, compared prices for different models, gotten pre-approved for a loan, and have the car I want, in mind.
caller: can you help me?
Joe: I believe I can....which model was it?
caller: the 2007 GMC Denali, in Fantastik blue, with the custom grill, 24"s, DVD and NAV, which I believe you have on your lot.
Joe: Sir, please give me a second to confirm I have that car.
Joe: I have that car, so when would you like to come in?
caller: I will be there within the hour
Joe: Wonderfull! I'll have it ready for you to see
Joe: by the way, will you be coming alone, or with someone else, perhaps a spouse, or significant other?
caller: nope, just me.
Joe: Sir, just in case I am busy, could I please get your name and phone number, so I can advise you of any changes to our plans?
caller: my name is Julius Cesar and my number is 666-6969
Joe: sounds great, I will see you at 4:00PM

4:00Pm
Joe has Denali parked on the front line, Julius shows up, they take the car for a quick spin, and sit down to confirm prices.

Joe: Is this the car you had in mind, when you called me today?
Julius: yes...it is all I wanted
Joe: I think you should know that there is a trailer hitch on it, which was not in your specs. Other than that, your pricing is fine. I'll need another $292.67 for the hitch.
Julius: Fine with me.

After about 10 minutes of writeup, credit apps, etc, Julius is whisked away to the finance office, where he spends about 15 minutes, then drives away in his new car. :)

OTOH, Mr. Nerd is still peeing all over himself 4 hours later, with his Dad and his credit uuunion's permission, of course. :p
 

KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
15,903
4
81
How can you tell a car saleman is lying?


His lips are moving. :p
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,109
920
126
Originally posted by: KK
How can you tell a car saleman is lying?


His lips are moving. :p

Yeah yeah, same can be said for females and customers alike. ;)
 

compuwiz1

Admin Emeritus Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
27,109
920
126
Stay along for the ride. 27 years in the business, I can enlighten ya all. :)
 

Literati

Golden Member
Jan 13, 2005
1,864
0
0
I relax over a few beers often after work with two top salesmen for their respective dealerships, and the stuff they are allowed to pull on customers in order to get paid is absolutely fvcking absurd.

 

KK

Lifer
Jan 2, 2001
15,903
4
81
Hows this one.


A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water.
His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain
that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a
shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers
what looks to be an ash tray from an old car. He opens it and out
pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a
polka dot bow tie and a plaid sport coat. There's a dog-eared
little book in the breast pocket with a blue cover. He has a
pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have
three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust
a car salesman!"

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie
is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food
and drink."

***POOF*** The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he
has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters
of delicacies.

"OK, kid, what's your second wish."

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF*** The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the man says, "I wish that no
matter where I go beautiful woman will want and need me."

***POOF*** He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story? If a car salesman offers you anything at
no cost, there's going to be a string attached.
 

Aimster

Lifer
Jan 5, 2003
16,129
2
0
Dealership advertised a 4 runner 2005 Limited with all options for 19k with 50,000 miles. This was 8,000 cheaper than everywhere else.

I call them and the guy is like yes we have it in stock come on down. I am there an hour later and the car was sold, yet all the 4runner slots on the dealership were full. Must of had its own special parking spot...

I am about to leave and the guy is like hold on. I think that car might be available let me go check. He comes back out and tells me that the people buying it might not be approved for the credit so I am like ok fine I'll wait 5 more minutes then I'm leaving.

I ended up waiting 25 minutes then I started to get furious. Guy was in the back watching T.V. I eventually got up and left.
He couldn't even show me the damn car. "It was in the back getting washed". I was like show me the back and he was like "it is restricted"...

I dont see what tactic he could have possibly been using on me. It's not like keeping me waiting was going to make me buy another 4 runner with less options for 5k more.


 

jlbenedict

Banned
Jul 10, 2005
3,724
0
0
Originally posted by: Aimster
Dealership advertised a 4 runner 2005 Limited with all options for 19k with 50,000 miles. This was 8,000 cheaper than everywhere else.

I call them and the guy is like yes we have it in stock come on down. I am there an hour later and the car was sold, yet all the 4runner slots on the dealership were full. Must of had its own special parking spot...

I am about to leave and the guy is like hold on. I think that car might be available let me go check. He comes back out and tells me that the people buying it might not be approved for the credit so I am like ok fine I'll wait 5 more minutes then I'm leaving.

I ended up waiting 25 minutes then I started to get furious. Guy was in the back watching T.V. I eventually got up and left.
He couldn't even show me the damn car. "It was in the back getting washed". I was like show me the back and he was like "it is restricted"...

I dont see what tactic he could have possibly been using on me. It's not like keeping me waiting was going to make me buy another 4 runner with less options for 5k more.
His tactic was "stalling you" most likely. He was hoping the longer he kept you in the dealership, the chances that your temptations to go ahead and puchase something else would happen.

I don't know why you didn't buy another more expensive 4 Runner and make the salesman happy :p

 

Exterous

Super Moderator
Jun 20, 2006
20,005
2,969
126
Not that bad of a story but:
I was on a lot looking for a car and the salesman starts with the SUV. Fine, whatever. Then he tells me that its first in its class in fuel efficiency.
Thanks not interested
Takes me to the next SUV. Also has great fuel efficiency, but not quite as good as the first model because you can't have two models with the 'best efficiency' rating
Well, what rank is it then?
8th.
I made sure I was verry careful about how I worded my questions and analyzed his answers from there on.

 

Zolty

Diamond Member
Feb 7, 2005
3,603
0
0
My one and only car purchase (that my dad didn't handle) was from craigslist it took longer to get his plates off than to complete the whole sale.
 

Scouzer

Lifer
Jun 3, 2001
10,359
5
0
Dads car - 2005 Honda Civic - Haggled for him, invoice +$500
My car - 2006 Pontiac Pursuit GT - New model, very popular...invoice +$600.
 

shortylickens

No Lifer
Jul 15, 2003
82,076
15,909
126
Originally posted by: drum
I'm not good in those situations.
I am excellent.
One way to work it out in your head is to pretend the guy is wearing a ski mask and has a gun pointed at you. Because thats exactly what he's doing. You dont think of them as friends from that point on and it makes it easier to try and ass-pound them instead.

If they smile and give you a free tank of gas then you got taken. If they curse you and refuse even a handshake you probably did OK.
I also like to go when the new models are already on the lot. Then they HAVE to get rid of the old models at any price, even if they only have 100 miles on them.
 

EagleKeeper

Discussion Club Moderator<br>Elite Member
Staff member
Oct 30, 2000
42,591
5
0
United Nissan (Las Vegas) claim that they are the biggest in the world.

Went to look at a Pathfinder beginning of this year before I went out to work at a client's site.

Test drove a couple that had some issues and was not satisified.

Told the dealer that I would be back in a month and wanted to look at others with the same spec.

I had a Pathfinder that my 23 yr old daughter wanted to trade in.
A month later, still nothing that satisifed me/her. However, I negotiated a "find one, I will take it" deal (contingent on my daughter liking the vehicle).

In August they finally got something that she liked; she went down and tried to close the deal. They lowered the trade-in value on her by 4K vs what they had told me previously.

At the time, they did not associate her with me.

When she called me about this, I told he to walk away rather than attempt to let them make the correlation between us.

The next time the dealer called stating that they had a vehicle for me, I read them the riot act and let them know that they would not get my business for they way they acted.
 

Raduque

Lifer
Aug 22, 2004
13,141
138
106
Originally posted by: compuwiz1
that there is a trailer hitch on it, which was not in your specs. Other than that, your pricing is fine. I'll need another $292.67 for the hitch.
Julius:
<SNIP>
This is the point I tell you to take the hitch off, and not charge me the extra $300, or stuff it. :)
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,145
10
81
Originally posted by: Aimster
Dealership advertised a 4 runner 2005 Limited with all options for 19k with 50,000 miles. This was 8,000 cheaper than everywhere else.

I call them and the guy is like yes we have it in stock come on down. I am there an hour later and the car was sold, yet all the 4runner slots on the dealership were full. Must of had its own special parking spot...

I am about to leave and the guy is like hold on. I think that car might be available let me go check. He comes back out and tells me that the people buying it might not be approved for the credit so I am like ok fine I'll wait 5 more minutes then I'm leaving.

I ended up waiting 25 minutes then I started to get furious. Guy was in the back watching T.V. I eventually got up and left.
He couldn't even show me the damn car. "It was in the back getting washed". I was like show me the back and he was like "it is restricted"...

I dont see what tactic he could have possibly been using on me. It's not like keeping me waiting was going to make me buy another 4 runner with less options for 5k more.
sadly it is a common tactic and yes it works.

i hate it when they try to pull that ****** on me. i tell them up front if htey dick around i will leave.

when they start doing crap. i leave. OH and NEVER give them your drivers license or keys. i had one place lose my keys until i the cops showed up. then they found them on the wrong desk.

 

Demon-Xanth

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
20,551
2
81
When I got my car, I told them what to put on it. I was willing to wait 8 weeks :) I knew what they paid, they made about $500 on the deal, which is what I would expect. No need to haggle.
 

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