How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.
Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve
the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.
Lutherans: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting
policy.
Mormons:
Five.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do
it.
Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your
choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : None
Nazarenes don't believe in change.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next
Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Amish :
What's a light bulb?
Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal : 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians : None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic : None
Candles only.
Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve
the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken .
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.
Lutherans: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting
policy.
Mormons:
Five.
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do
it.
Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You
can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your
choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene : None
Nazarenes don't believe in change.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have
found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next
Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including candescent, fluorescent, three- way, long-life and
tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Amish :
What's a light bulb?
