Moral question

[Jeff7181]

My parents have decided to get divorced and finances are a big issue for them. Neither of them can keep the house themselves so they'll be selling it.

Come to find out, they're still making payments on a student loan that was taken out about 10 years ago for me when I went to school the first time. I'd have paid that off long ago, but my father told me not to worry about it. Now I learn it's still not paid off, I don't even know how much is still owed and they expect me to pay it off now. I JUST moved into a new condo so I've spent a large chunk of my savings on that... now they expect me to pay for this too.

I feel a moral obligation to pay it because well, it's my debt, it just happens to be in their name because I didn't qualify for the loan right out of high school. On the other hand, I'd have taken care of that debt before acquiring this new debt if I hadn't been told not to worry about it and knew that it even still existed. Money is already tight being a homeowner for the first time, now they want me to take over the $78/mo payment on it.

So... what do I do? Scratch together the money and take over the payments or tell them, "sorry, I tried to pay it when I was in a better position to pay it, but you told me not to, now I can't afford to."

 

[mizzou]

that sucks man, did they both turn ship and immediately tell you to pay? or did they "ask" you to pay?

They need to shoulder the burden partly or on a whole as it was technically gifted to you, theres nothng that I know of that they could slap you with in a civil action.

It's hard to tell what kind of relationship you have with your 'rents, but I would personally try and help out but politely tell them that their fuckup can't be your fuckup .

$78 isn't really all that much though...but over how many years, 30?

 

[TheFamilyMan]

If $78/mo is going to send you into the poor house, you already have too much debt on your hands...

 

[lxskllr]

If $78/mo is going to send you into the poor house, you already have too much debt on your hands...

^^^

That's a big reason people are having issues with the economy now....

 

[nerp]

$78/mo? Cancel your cell phone data plan. Switch to basic cable.

 

[nageov3t]

If $78/mo is going to send you into the poor house, you already have too much debt on your hands...

:thumbsup:

 

[pcgeek11]

I think morally you should pay it, but technically it isn't your debt.

I would pay it, but this is a personal decision for you. Are you close to your parents? These types of issues can turn into deal breakers really fast.

 

[MAKENITO]

I vote scratching together the money and paying it.

 

[rcpratt]

I would pay it. I'm sure you can find a way to scrounge up $78 every month.

 

[F1N3ST]

How is this a question? :\

 

[MAKENITO]

I would pay it. I'm sure you can find a way to scrounge up $78 every month.

Wow, how did I miss this. Dude, come on.

 

[zerocool84]

If $78/mo is going to send you into the poor house, you already have too much debt on your hands...

^^^

That's a big reason people are having issues with the economy now....

Sounds like the OP still isn't ready to live on his own.

 

[Jeff7181]

$78/mo won't cause me to lose my condo, but it'll require me to make some changes. I'm not completely opposed to that, but part of me feels like I shouldn't be burdened with it since I offered to pay it when I was in a better financial position to do so... since they told me not to worry about it, I didn't. Now they're telling me to worry about it once I've gone out and acquired new debt.

And you're right... I do have too much debt... but it was either move in with them or over extend my own finances so as not to burden them any longer than I already had.

 

[zerocool84]

$78/mo won't cause me to lose my condo, but it'll require me to make some changes. I'm not completely opposed to that, but part of me feels like I shouldn't be burdened with it since I offered to pay it when I was in a better financial position to do so... since they told me not to worry about it, I didn't. Now they're telling me to worry about it once I've gone out and acquired new debt.

And you're right... I do have too much debt... but it was either move in with them or over extend my own finances so as not to burden them any longer than I already had.

You should have made sure it was paid off before getting your own condo.

 

[lxskllr]

$78/mo won't cause me to lose my condo, but it'll require me to make some changes. I'm not completely opposed to that, but part of me feels like I shouldn't be burdened with it since I offered to pay it when I was in a better financial position to do so... since they told me not to worry about it, I didn't. Now they're telling me to worry about it once I've gone out and acquired new debt.

And you're right... I do have too much debt... but it was either move in with them or over extend my own finances so as not to burden them any longer than I already had.

The way I see it, is you have the stuff you have at least partly due to your education. It's kind of lame for your parents to ask for the money now, but it's even lamer to invoke technicalities to get out of the debt. I know what the right thing to do is, and so do you. The right thing isn't always the most fun thing.

 

[nageov3t]

You should have made sure it was paid off before getting your own condo.

was it his responsibility to do so?

my parents took out loans for my college education and, after I graduated and got my trust fund, I paid them back (and had enough $ left over to buy a pizza and a 6-pack). my parents, however, didn't use the money I gave them to pay off my student loans and instead, used the cash to invest in their house and are still paying off the loans. I have no clue how much is still owed on the loans and I don't consider it to be my responsibility in any way.

 

[Jeff7181]

You should have made sure it was paid off before getting your own condo.

If you owe someone money, and they refuse the money you give them and say, "don't worry about it" what would you do? Search their financial records for the account information and secretly pay it behind their back?

I GAVE them money... they gave it back. I set up online bill payments to send them the $78/mo... 6 months after that the bank start adding the funds back to my account saying the checks were never cashed and expired so I canceled the online bill payments, and sure enough, for the next 6 months, that money was put back in my account.

By now I figured they had paid it off. The only reason they're asking me to pay it now is because it's become inconvenient for them. Is that really fair to me? I mean... if I was in the financial position that I was a year ago I'd pay it without question, but now I have a mortgage payment of my own...

 

[CrazyHelloDeli]

The way I see it, is you have the stuff you have at least partly due to your education. It's kind of lame for your parents to ask for the money now, but it's even lamer to invoke technicalities to get out of the debt. I know what the right thing to do is, and so do you. The right thing isn't always the most fun thing.

When it comes to moral dilemmas, what you don't WANT to do is usually what you SHOULD do. Man up, cut some not essentials, and pay that shit off.

 

[dfuze]

If it was anyone other than your parents who said to forget about it, I would say forget it about it. But they are obviously in some financial distress and can't do it, and with it being your debt, I think you should take the payments back. Maybe a part time job for 6 months or a year to help get rid of it fast?

 

[olds]

How is this a question? :\

Wow, how did I miss this. Dude, come on.

Sounds like the OP still isn't ready to live on his own.

These

 

[0roo0roo]

Its their problem, they hid it from you so you couldn't have made allowances for it to come back to bite you in the ass. If you have the money, pay it, but it was their selfish decision to choose that time to divorce. they should have accounted for that debt.

 

[rasczak]

While it sucks that you have to take that debt on, just man up and pay it. $78 a month is trivial to helping your parents resolve their dispute. As was stated earlier, you can find $78 a month somewhere in your budget. Just set up an auto payment and be done with it, adjust your budget accordingly and you'll never even realize it's gone after a couple of months.

Or if it bothers you so much, talk to your parents and see if they can go half on the monthly payment with you. you pay $39.00, your parents split the other $39.00.

 

[Slapstick]

They're your parents. You're coming across as a selfish, greedy, ungrateful little snot of a kid. Pay it. So you have to cut back on a few things, it's a good lesson to learn young not to over extend yourself. Everybody complains that no one takes responsibility for themselves and here you are whining that your parents are in financial trouble and they want you to take over YOUR student loan payments of $78 a month and you don't think it's fair. I guess it's a good thing one of them doesn't need a kidney.

 

[Leros]

Your budget is so tight that $78/mo requires you to change things, but you just bought a condo? Are you an idiot?

 

[iGas]

As said by other posters $78 mo isn't that much to take on. I suspects that your cell phone & cable cost well above that, and cutting out morning coffee IMHO would easily take care of the loan monthly payment.

PS. Just suck it up and take care of your finances because at 28 year old is 10 years too long at sucking on your parents titties.