When I was 12 I met and fell under the spell of the beautiful daughter of a prominent doctor. She was an exotic creature and at the tender age of 14 had international soccer stars taking her out on dates.
Beneath the surface of the finest private school, expensive designer clothing, and a couple of Mazeratis at her disposal, there lurked a very troubled young woman.
She had been doing drugs with her parents (both sets, divorced and remarried) since she was 8... she lost her virginity at age 10 and when I met her, she was the most intriguing person I could imagine. After all, I came from a family whose parents were not divorced, didn't smoke, barely drank, and had very old fashioned values regarding matters of sex. In fact, after the doctor and his wife met my parents, they never extended drugs to me like they did to the other kids... I guess once they met my parents they knew better than to pass me a joint when I stayed over. When I was there, they hid the stuff, but other neighborhood kids told of how they all sat around together in the eveings, getting high.
Strangely enough, she and I were best friends for years although we had nothing in common. Perhaps it was because I was content to sit quietly in the background and I never competed with her for male attention... or maybe it was because although it seemed she had everything--- beauty, money, extreme popularity--- I was the one who had something of value. I played Janet Garafalo to her Angelina Jolie... Anais Nin to her June Miller. She made passes at me on occasion. It was confusing... everyone wanted her but she wanted me. I stayed close but kept a safe distance.
Anyway, she went down in a spiral of drugs, casual sex, and mental illness.I stopped trying to reach her years ago... it got to the point where I just could not bear to see it, and the more success I had in life, the more pissed off she seemed to get at me. She has 3 children who I know have been abused sexually... last I heard they were taken from her by the state, but basically given to her dad and brother, so that doesn't mean anything.
My point in telling you this story is that this type of thing happens everywhere, on all levels... even in the familes of prominent doctors. I can only assume that this type of behavior is largely learned to some degree and only the strongest are able to break the cycle. I hope for this 13 year old girl's sake that she is able to come out of this a survivor and that she will have the strength to help the other who will come after her.
