If you get offended by profanity, mindless violence, my posts, or your own genitalia then please do NOT read any further. If you do read further and become offended then you are a moron that should be beaten to death. Thanks.
*Rant*
Parking down at my University is absolutely 100% insane, and has a very negative influence on my mental health. As usual I am unable to find a parking spot in the main lot next to my building, so I go park in the lot the next block down and walk to class. No biggie right? Who wouldn't do that? Would you keep circling the lot for hours at a time to save a 1/4 mile jog? Would you park illegally and create a massive traffic jam, extremely hazardous driving in the lot(due to your GIGANTIC 15 ton SUV with 54 inch mud tires that has NEVER EVER EVER MOTHERFVCKING EVER seen "offroad" usage blocking the corners or sides of ALL medians that separate the ends of rows) or what you be daddy's little girl driving your new 350z or SUV at 80 mph(10x the limit) in a tiny 1600 sq yard lot? You do realize this poses a SLIGHT problem for us law abiding citizens right? Because we have to spend all our money on creating more parking next to buildings(instead of LARGER lots that people REFUSE to use because they cannot goddamn walk a 1/4 of a mile to class) instead of repairing the sidewalks that were deluged under 2 inches of rain in the prior 2 hours. So that means *motherfvcking puddles and flooding.* Now, I might be a bit vain, but I don't exactly relish trudging through massive puddles because your ass REFUSES to park correctly.
And let me not start with the administration refusing to do anything about the parking situation at all. They decide to build a parking deck on an existing lot(exacerbating existing problems) and of course they awarded the contract to some fly by night contractor that made the deck out of a mixture of urine, feces, and North Korean steel. Now that would be fine and all because using feces to build is an interesting recycling method, but that new feces method should not take triple the money nor triple the first estimated date of completion. Of course we face budgeting problems like most State Universities, so you'd think they would try to make the best use of existing facilities and work on the REAL problems. Parking is that real goddamn problem, yet they decide to build a new rec center. THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE OLD ONE. It had new equipment(albeit not covered in the new art-deco feces look), but it was functional and not in danger of impending collapse. Our parking system, however, is driving me over the edge of mental sanity. I was by no means sane to begin with, but I've approached at least 50 new mental conditions in the past semester of parking issues. I thank God there is no bell tower on campus... you get the picture there folks... no need to be explicit.
The thing that put me over the edge, was the brave young UAB police officer I talked to today. This guy was out risking his ass to provide us a safe campus. He was driving around the aforementioned lot(which was over burdened with people parked on the grass, sidewalks, curbs, and in any illegal and distorted way possible) just adding to current congestion when I motioned for him to roll his window down. I asked him why he can't ticket the 100 or so cars that were illegally parked that were reducing visibility(can't see around corners and there are wrecks there EVERYDAY), increasing congestion, and basically destroying any semblance of order. His response? Oh, parking is bad this semester and people would get mad if they were ticketed. WHAT THE FVCK? Well, no sh!t my friend. They should definitely make that guy the head of Robbery/Homicide. I've rarely encountered such brilliant investigatory skills. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would certainly be outclassed by this guy. He never hazarded to guess, that perhaps... if he ENFORCED the illegal parking laws that people would NOT park illegally, they would PARK in the lots that we have to handle the overflow, and thus there would no longer be a significant hazard that is causing wrecks and forcing pedestrians to play SUV roulette. No that would be logical, and when has our goddamn society been logical as of late? Never.
Don't ask for cliffs notes, as I am off to commit suicide because I can't currently handle the significant mental stress this sheer stupidity is causing me. If I decide not to kill myself I'm thinking of a class action lawsuit against the University. Surely someone else has experienced as complete mental breakdown over this issue...
*End Rant*
Off to slit my wrists... later folks.
*Rant*
Parking down at my University is absolutely 100% insane, and has a very negative influence on my mental health. As usual I am unable to find a parking spot in the main lot next to my building, so I go park in the lot the next block down and walk to class. No biggie right? Who wouldn't do that? Would you keep circling the lot for hours at a time to save a 1/4 mile jog? Would you park illegally and create a massive traffic jam, extremely hazardous driving in the lot(due to your GIGANTIC 15 ton SUV with 54 inch mud tires that has NEVER EVER EVER MOTHERFVCKING EVER seen "offroad" usage blocking the corners or sides of ALL medians that separate the ends of rows) or what you be daddy's little girl driving your new 350z or SUV at 80 mph(10x the limit) in a tiny 1600 sq yard lot? You do realize this poses a SLIGHT problem for us law abiding citizens right? Because we have to spend all our money on creating more parking next to buildings(instead of LARGER lots that people REFUSE to use because they cannot goddamn walk a 1/4 of a mile to class) instead of repairing the sidewalks that were deluged under 2 inches of rain in the prior 2 hours. So that means *motherfvcking puddles and flooding.* Now, I might be a bit vain, but I don't exactly relish trudging through massive puddles because your ass REFUSES to park correctly.
And let me not start with the administration refusing to do anything about the parking situation at all. They decide to build a parking deck on an existing lot(exacerbating existing problems) and of course they awarded the contract to some fly by night contractor that made the deck out of a mixture of urine, feces, and North Korean steel. Now that would be fine and all because using feces to build is an interesting recycling method, but that new feces method should not take triple the money nor triple the first estimated date of completion. Of course we face budgeting problems like most State Universities, so you'd think they would try to make the best use of existing facilities and work on the REAL problems. Parking is that real goddamn problem, yet they decide to build a new rec center. THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE OLD ONE. It had new equipment(albeit not covered in the new art-deco feces look), but it was functional and not in danger of impending collapse. Our parking system, however, is driving me over the edge of mental sanity. I was by no means sane to begin with, but I've approached at least 50 new mental conditions in the past semester of parking issues. I thank God there is no bell tower on campus... you get the picture there folks... no need to be explicit.
The thing that put me over the edge, was the brave young UAB police officer I talked to today. This guy was out risking his ass to provide us a safe campus. He was driving around the aforementioned lot(which was over burdened with people parked on the grass, sidewalks, curbs, and in any illegal and distorted way possible) just adding to current congestion when I motioned for him to roll his window down. I asked him why he can't ticket the 100 or so cars that were illegally parked that were reducing visibility(can't see around corners and there are wrecks there EVERYDAY), increasing congestion, and basically destroying any semblance of order. His response? Oh, parking is bad this semester and people would get mad if they were ticketed. WHAT THE FVCK? Well, no sh!t my friend. They should definitely make that guy the head of Robbery/Homicide. I've rarely encountered such brilliant investigatory skills. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would certainly be outclassed by this guy. He never hazarded to guess, that perhaps... if he ENFORCED the illegal parking laws that people would NOT park illegally, they would PARK in the lots that we have to handle the overflow, and thus there would no longer be a significant hazard that is causing wrecks and forcing pedestrians to play SUV roulette. No that would be logical, and when has our goddamn society been logical as of late? Never.
Don't ask for cliffs notes, as I am off to commit suicide because I can't currently handle the significant mental stress this sheer stupidity is causing me. If I decide not to kill myself I'm thinking of a class action lawsuit against the University. Surely someone else has experienced as complete mental breakdown over this issue...
*End Rant*
Off to slit my wrists... later folks.
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