Might want to meet with a mathematician instead of a priest before marriage

[JTsyo]

I wonder if most couples are truly doomed from the beginning or if it's experiences during marriage that causes the rift to form. Following this article though it seems there are views that people start with that can be causes for problems later. I sure most that do get divorced would probably say that they're in love and will be forever before the marriage.

 

[meltdown75]

Love only goes so far. My idea of a marriage that lasts is one in which one person just caves in to the other's ideals if those little problems become huge. Except for the 0.001% of marriages that are actually a match made in heaven. They do exist, but I don't know of any personally. Just wait, we'll get some dudes posting in here that say they their marriage is perfect, and they're lucky mofos for sure.

L&R --->

 

[leftyman]

Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

 

[mugs]

Statements with humour or affection were given positive scores, while those with defensiveness or anger were given negative ones. The resulting scores were used to identify whether the relationship was likely to stand the test of time.

Seems to come down to whether or not you actually like each other. Brilliant!

 

[Saga]

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

 

[Saga]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Well, of course - that to. But then the religious nuts come out of the woodwork and start preaching Jesus and the bible when you say the obvious shit like that. I thought my explanation would avoid that problem.

 

[leftyman]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

 

[Triumph]

So what the hell is the equation? Love - hate = X. If X>0 then your marriage succeeds. Is that it?

 

[cheezy321]

What article are you talking about? Is this the same thing as the guy that was discussed in the book "Blink!"?

EDIT: Clicked the article. Yeah this is the same guy that was discussed in the book. I highly recommend any Malcolm Gladwell books to everyone here. Blink, The Tipping Point and Outliers are some of my all time favorite books

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

 

[leftyman]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

I agree.. I have no connection to any religion or the morality that they proclaim, but to me a lifetime commitment with an SO is one definition of being married

 

[buck]

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

Thats what she said!





Sorry for the immaturity, I have only been married since October and I am just as happy as a clam.

 

[Codewiz]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

So you want skip all the benefits of marriage and have to deal with all the negatives.

At least with marriage I can get a prenup that stands up in court. I am pretty sure most states will consider you married if you live together for a certain amount of time.

I am an atheist married to an agnostic so my marriage has nothing to do with religion.

 

[TheVrolok]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

As long as your down for the lifetime commitment, then what's the problem with taking advantage of the tax breaks and other benefits married couples receive?

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

Yes, you can have a lifetime commitment with someone if you skip the commitment part (ie the marriage). That is true, but you end up living a less satisfying life. You wonder, why am I making a lifetime commitment to a person who isn't willing to do the same to me? If you are both willing, then why not do the formality? In most cases it gives you many thousands of dollars in gifts, many thousands of dollars in tax breaks each year (assuming the two are in different tax brackets), and many legal rights (such as hosptial visitation, tax free gifts to each other, etc.)

The real question, is since all it takes is a couple of signatures, and with all the potential benefits, why NOT get married if you want a lifetime commitment?

 

[Saga]

Originally posted by: TheVrolok

As long as your down for the lifetime commitment, then what's the problem with taking advantage of the tax breaks and other benefits married couples receive?

The risk of paying half your salary to support her for the rest of your life in the case she gets fed up with you? With a 50%+ divorce rate your odds of the previous statement being true are the same odds as flipping a coin and calling "tails". Thats a pretty big problem to me.

 

[leftyman]

Originally posted by: dullard

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

Yes, you can have a lifetime commitment with someone if you skip the commitment part (ie the marriage). That is true, but you end up living a less satisfying life. You wonder, why am I making a lifetime commitment to a person who isn't willing to do the same to me? If you are both willing, then why not do the formality? In most cases it gives you many thousands of dollars in gifts, many thousands of dollars in tax breaks each year (assuming the two are in different tax brackets), and many legal rights (such as hosptial visitation, tax free gifts to each other, etc.)

The real question, is since all it takes is a couple of signatures, and with all the potential benefits, why NOT get married if you want a lifetime commitment?

unless you are gay or lesbian.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: dullard

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

Yes, you can have a lifetime commitment with someone if you skip the commitment part (ie the marriage). That is true, but you end up living a less satisfying life. You wonder, why am I making a lifetime commitment to a person who isn't willing to do the same to me? If you are both willing, then why not do the formality? In most cases it gives you many thousands of dollars in gifts, many thousands of dollars in tax breaks each year (assuming the two are in different tax brackets), and many legal rights (such as hosptial visitation, tax free gifts to each other, etc.)

The real question, is since all it takes is a couple of signatures, and with all the potential benefits, why NOT get married if you want a lifetime commitment?

Money isn't a very good reason to get married. And any potential money/tax benefits are quickly forgotten when the bitch takes half in the divorce. lol. Plus I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed to someone.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: Saga
The risk of paying half your salary to support her for the rest of your life in the case she gets fed up with you?

You clearly have no idea how alimony works. Alimony is a short term agreement to get both people on their feet. If she leaves you, most states will give her NO alimony. If you leave her, most states will give her small alimony for a year or two.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: TheVrolok

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

As long as your down for the lifetime commitment, then what's the problem with taking advantage of the tax breaks and other benefits married couples receive?

Because I cannot control what the other person will do. Any tax breaks now will mean nothing after she goes through a crisis or psychosis and decides to divorce.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Codewiz

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: leftyman

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Saga

Originally posted by: leftyman
Ive been married 24 years and lived with her for a year or two before that. Its hard, but if you want to make it work it will.

With our current generation the resilience to "make it work" is long gone to self-gratification, selfishness, and just plain greed.

No we just realize there is no advantage or purpose to being married.

Marriage isnt for everyone, and there are plenty of people that enjoy life being single, but to claim there is no advantage or purpose to marriage is wrong.

*edit..or are you just claiming the religious aspect of marriage?

You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

So you want skip all the benefits of marriage and have to deal with all the negatives.

At least with marriage I can get a prenup that stands up in court. I am pretty sure most states will consider you married if you live together for a certain amount of time.

I am an atheist married to an agnostic so my marriage has nothing to do with religion.

Pre-nup only covers what you had before marriage. But frankly its a bogus deal because I cannot ever control the other person if they decide they want a divorce I'm screweddddd big time. If I was a women on the other hand I would probably consider marriage because I really can't lose.

 

[dullard]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
And any potential money/tax benefits are quickly forgotten when the bitch takes half in the divorce. lol. Plus I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed to someone.

She can't take ANY of what you had before marriage (prenup or no prenup it doesn't matter, that is the law in virutally all locations). Thus immediately the "taking half" part is a myth. She can only take up to half of what the two of you got during the marriage. In most states she can't take gifts or inheritances either (even if you got it during the marriage).

And even if you just live together, she STILL can take you to court for your shared belonings that you got after living together. Being married or just living together doesn't change that picture.

And the reverse is true. You can take up to half of what she got during the marriage.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: dullard

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
And any potential money/tax benefits are quickly forgotten when the bitch takes half in the divorce. lol. Plus I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed to someone.

She can't take ANY of what you had before marriage (prenup or no prenup it doesn't matter, that is the law in virutally all locations). Thus immediately the "taking half" part is a myth. In most states she can't take gifts or inheritances either.

And even if you just live together, she STILL can take you to court for your shared belonings that you got after living together. Being married or just living together doesn't change that picture.

Basically I'm saying in the end there is no "financial benefits" longterm. Some short term gains perhaps but if shit goes south....the women always wins. Short term financial benefits aren't a very good reason to get married.

 

[buck]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: dullard

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
You can have a lifetime commitment with an SO without being married.

Yes, you can have a lifetime commitment with someone if you skip the commitment part (ie the marriage). That is true, but you end up living a less satisfying life. You wonder, why am I making a lifetime commitment to a person who isn't willing to do the same to me? If you are both willing, then why not do the formality? In most cases it gives you many thousands of dollars in gifts, many thousands of dollars in tax breaks each year (assuming the two are in different tax brackets), and many legal rights (such as hosptial visitation, tax free gifts to each other, etc.)

The real question, is since all it takes is a couple of signatures, and with all the potential benefits, why NOT get married if you want a lifetime commitment?

Money isn't a very good reason to get married. And any potential money/tax benefits are quickly forgotten when the bitch takes half in the divorce. lol. Plus I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed to someone.

You should read up on what you are saying, you are VERY misinformed.