hahahahaha... got a good laugh out of this. saw it on another board (if this is a repost or its old... go to hell!)
You will get a real charge out of this one. Remember the book - "Men are
from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here is a true life example from
the University of Phoenix. An English Professor assigned his students to
a joint writing exercise that quickly degraded - check it out...
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his
or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the
first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that
paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also
sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on, back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say
must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
----------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too
much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
-----------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and
across the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.
She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth
a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and
85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile
tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an
air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
A**hole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
*****.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get screwed.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Eat sh**.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
GO DRINK SOME TEA - *****.
**********************************************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group
to get an A.
You will get a real charge out of this one. Remember the book - "Men are
from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here is a true life example from
the University of Phoenix. An English Professor assigned his students to
a joint writing exercise that quickly degraded - check it out...
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his
or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the
first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that
paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first
paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also
sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on, back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been
written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be
absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say
must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a
conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
----------------------------------------------------------------
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too
much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
-----------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17", he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign
of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and
across the cockpit.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her
newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.
She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed
unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
pondered wistfully.
---------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth
a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine
headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and
85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the
conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!
Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile
tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F***ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an
air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
----------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
A**hole.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
*****.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Get screwed.
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Eat sh**.
--------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
GO DRINK SOME TEA - *****.
**********************************************
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one. Only group
to get an A.
