Meetin' ppl in the dorms

[skywalker66]

Guys,
I've been at school for about a month now, and frankly things just don't seem like they are as fun for me as they are for everyone else. I mean everyone else talks about how awesome it is being a freshman at college and all, and how time has been flying by so fast,

and for me honestly, time has been going by very slowly!! I wouldn't say that it's that I'm not having a good time here, I would say I'm having semi-okay time, not really that fun or uplifting. I guess I wonder why I'm not having as good of a time, and I think it has to do with the people you meet. A lot of ppl I meet say that they really like their floor or whatever, and honestly I guess I think my floor kinda sucks,

I guess I don't know everybody on this floor, but it seems like the vast majority of ppl here, I really dont have that much in common with (but then again im kinda an odd guy myself) and well I guess honestly part of it is that I kinda have a hard time meeting new ppl too,
like a lot of times I have a hard time taking the bold steps, and when i do take them, its like im trying to hard and like im trying to impress the other person, and sometimes i really kinda jump out on a limb and make things socially awkward. needless to say, not that many ppl are giving me much attention in return (maybe like 2 so far) (theres 27 on my floor)
and well, I'm getting sick of making a fool out of myself, but I'm also getting sick of waiting to make friends, and not having fun while everyone else is already somehow meeting ppl, and having a blast.

I've also heard a lot of things like how the first 2 weeks is the window of opportunity, where you can pretty much make friends with anybody because everybody needs friends, however after that people have already found their friends, and they dont care about you, and that it's just a waste of time if you go up and try to talk to them. I know this is all hear-say, but i'm worried that if i dont make my move soon (its 4 weeks into the game) that I'll be left out in the cold.

I hear all these success stories about how people find a bunch of really awesome friends on their floor freshman year and how they room together in the on-campus appartments sophmore year (apartments that hold 7 ppl), and honestly I'm a little worried about whether I'm going to be able to find my group of friends or not, and be able to fill that size an apartment next year.

I guess I just wanna find my group but I don't know how to do it, and I'm in need for ideas.


Currently I leave my door open most of the time, (just nobody drops in) and things are also a little tough since we have a 3 person room that is really crowded, so its not really the best hangout spot.
I dont have a new gaming system or nothing (my newest system is an N64) and we dont have a VCR or DVD player in our room, (although we do have a good sized TV

Other complications include the fact that I am not really into watching sports or playing sports games for ps2 (like most ppl are here). Also it doesnt help that i dont have that many hobbies. I like to play computer games (Ironically not many other ppl here like to, and the few that do arent the type i'd like to hang around) I like to workout, but I feel gay asking ppl if they wanna workout with me, like i dont know how to word that, and playing ping pong is something else i like doing right now too. thats about it for hobbies. then i also spend a lot of time analyzing over things in solitude and crap like which probably doesnt bode to well either.

I guess I am just trying to look for ideas on how I can make this year fun,

Do i need to look beyond my floor to find 'my group'? like in classes, clubs, etc. do groups hold together very well when the ppl in them dont live in the same place?

any ideas would be wonderful, ppl. im just trying to make the most out of this.

 

[her209]

Maybe you talk too much?

Cliff notes?

 

[GeneValgene]

go join some organizations or clubs that interest you.
find people taht have teh same interests.
freshman year might start out slow for some, but as time goes by you'll meet people. trust me, i woudl say my sophomore and junior years were the best.

 

[Spoooon]

Are you friends with your roommates at least?

Most of the people that went on to become my friends were classmates. Lab partners and informal group study type stuff was where I met most of the people I know.

In grad school, it's a little easier because the faculty does things that encourage us to socialize with each other.

 

[boyRacer]

i think you're taking this a little too seriously...

why don't you go to one of those weekend parties or something... join those unrecognized frats that exists just for the purpose of getting drunk... but seriously... i wouldn't worry at all.

 

[Schadenfroh]

cliff notes?

 

[amdskip]

Leave your door open, crank the music up, get out and go to other open doors. I'm loving the dorms so far.

 

[skywalker66]

oh btw,

note: this is a christian college so alcohol is not permitted, so that does change the social atmosphere a bit. not as many big parties, more so you get to know ppl thru regular fun activities.

oh and here are the cliff notes:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---I am a freshman in college living in the dorms, and i've been there for 4 weeks now,
---A little dissapointed because it seems like others are having a lot more fun than me, and meetin more ppl,
---I have a harder time gettin to know ppl, cuz im kind of shy
---To make things worse ppl are already gettin to know each other since we're 4 weeks in. am i screwed?
am I on kind of a time limit? or is it always possible to make friends with ppl regardless of what time in the year it is?

---Any ideas for meetin' people?
(so far I'm thinkin' DVD player in the room, a video gaming system -I'll find someone who has one) and some new speakers for my computer so I can bump some good music.

 

[ziptie]

Originally posted by: skywalker66

---Any ideas for meetin' people?
(so far I'm thinkin' DVD player in the room, a video gaming system -I'll find someone who has one) and some new speakers for my computer so I can bump some good music.

well, you have to get them in your room first...

 

[Broohaha]

dude, just go out and TALK like a normal human being. be friendly, engaging and funny and people will naturally gravitate towards you. if you're not that type of person (i.e. you're kinda weird) then try to find other people who are kind of "offbeat"

anyhoo, once you just TALK to people about stuff, things will naturally happen and you will find yourself making friends.... exchange phone #s, screenames, etc. etcetc

 

[Kelvrick]

For the first 2 weeks or so, me and a couple of guys I met from my floor would go around the dorms at like 11pm or something and knock on every single door with light showing under it asking if anyone wanted some food cuzz we were going on a food run. I got to know like 75% of the dorms that way.

The RA's should always play an active roll in getting everyone together every once in a while though.

 

[Orsorum]

I have found that, at least in regards to game systems, the amount of fun generally varies inversely with the "newness" of the system - most people are bound to be familiar with a Nintendo, a Sega, or an N64, and to have some favorite games or at least be able to play something on it, as opposed to a PS2 or an X-Box, which hasn't reached saturation in the larger market.

 

[Kelvrick]

Originally posted by: Orsorum
I have found that, at least in regards to game systems, the amount of fun generally varies inversely with the "newness" of the system - most people are bound to be familiar with a Nintendo, a Sega, or an N64, and to have some favorite games or at least be able to play something on it, as opposed to a PS2 or an X-Box, which hasn't reached saturation in the larger market.

Yep. We had xboxs and ps2's all over the guy's floor (all girls first floor, guys second, girls third floor) and 2 most played systems was the dreamcast and the original nintendo. Dreamcase held a commanding lead with Tennis 2k2, Soul Caliber and other such great games while Nintendo had games like Duck Hunt and Punch Out.

 

[MrColin]

Originally posted by: skywalker66
oh btw,

note: this is a christian college so alcohol is not permitted, so that does change the social atmosphere a bit. not as many big parties, more so you get to know ppl thru regular fun activities.

oh and here are the cliff notes:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---I am a freshman in college living in the dorms, and i've been there for 4 weeks now,
---A little dissapointed because it seems like others are having a lot more fun than me, and meetin more ppl,
---I have a harder time gettin to know ppl, cuz im kind of shy
---To make things worse ppl are already gettin to know each other since we're 4 weeks in. am i screwed?
am I on kind of a time limit? or is it always possible to make friends with ppl regardless of what time in the year it is?

---Any ideas for meetin' people?
(so far I'm thinkin' DVD player in the room, a video gaming system -I'll find someone who has one) and some new speakers for my computer so I can bump some good music.

You need to switch to a non-religious school asap. For now, don't rely on technology to make friends for you, you need to find the people who have the same values as you. Also, you need to find the chicks who put out. Sack the video games for now, get a job where you interact with people, or join clubs. Don't coccoon yourself into routines be flexible, mess with people and learn that it really doesn't matter.

 

[TommyVercetti]

I went through the same thing. Dorms weren't fun for me at all. Just small jail like cells for sleeping.

 

[OulOat]

Originally posted by: skywalker66

I pity you. No, I really do. Maybe it is because I once was shy like you. But not anymore! Here, I'll help you out a bit.

I've been at school for about a month now, and frankly things just don't seem like they are as fun for me as they are for everyone else. I mean everyone else talks about how awesome it is being a freshman at college and all, and how time has been flying by so fast,

and for me honestly, time has been going by very slowly!! I wouldn't say that it's that I'm not having a good time here, I would say I'm having semi-okay time, not really that fun or uplifting. I guess I wonder why I'm not having as good of a time, and I think it has to do with the people you meet. A lot of ppl I meet say that they really like their floor or whatever, and honestly I guess I think my floor kinda sucks,

You don't have to hang out with your floor. You can go hang out at a friend's or classmates floor, it's all good. But at least you should recognize each of your floormate and acknowledge them when you pass by, you don't want to be a stranger.

I guess I don't know everybody on this floor, but it seems like the vast majority of ppl here, I really dont have that much in common with (but then again im kinda an odd guy myself) and well I guess honestly part of it is that I kinda have a hard time meeting new ppl too,
like a lot of times I have a hard time taking the bold steps, and when i do take them, its like im trying to hard and like im trying to impress the other person, and sometimes i really kinda jump out on a limb and make things socially awkward.

Don't do that sh!t. Keep doing it and people will think less of you. You don't need to make people laugh (although that is the easiest way to make friends), you just shouldn't act like an unfriendly asshole. Be yourself. If you are quiet, then stay quiet and listen. People will think you are cool if you just offer some witty remark or advice once in a while. And no, there is no guide to witty remarks or advice, you'll just have to find them yourself. One important thing though. Smile. A lot. People feel more comfortable around a smiling person (has been proven). And laugh at their jokes even if you don't really understand it (doesn't have to be a complete laugh, a chuckle will do). If the joke is really beyond you, you can always ask. But smile.

needless to say, not that many ppl are giving me much attention in return (maybe like 2 so far) (theres 27 on my floor)
and well, I'm getting sick of making a fool out of myself, but I'm also getting sick of waiting to make friends, and not having fun while everyone else is already somehow meeting ppl, and having a blast.

Why do you think everyone else is having more fun than you are. Is it because they know more people than you?? Two is enough. I rather have two good friends that I can depend on than a floor of "buddies." From what you wrote, you don't sound like the social type, but you want to be the social type. Why? Just because they know more people doesn't mean they are having fun at all.

I've also heard a lot of things like how the first 2 weeks is the window of opportunity, where you can pretty much make friends with anybody because everybody needs friends, however after that people have already found their friends, and they dont care about you, and that it's just a waste of time if you go up and try to talk to them. I know this is all hear-say, but i'm worried that if i dont make my move soon (its 4 weeks into the game) that I'll be left out in the cold.

BS. It's never too late to make friends. Sure, they form their cliches in the first couple weeks, but it's never too late to join or leave one. Stop worrying about it; keep worrying about it and you'll come out worse. It's not a freaking homework deadline damnit.

I hear all these success stories about how people find a bunch of really awesome friends on their floor freshman year and how they room together in the on-campus appartments sophmore year (apartments that hold 7 ppl), and honestly I'm a little worried about whether I'm going to be able to find my group of friends or not, and be able to fill that size an apartment next year.

Blah blah blah, numbers again. Whatever. Quantity doesn't matter, it's quality. And now you must think I'm a loser with a few friends. Not so, I know a lot of people, a lot of people I can do stuff with, but there is only a couple I really believe I can depend on them.

I guess I just wanna find my group but I don't know how to do it, and I'm in need for ideas.

Lol, sounds like a YAGT.

Currently I leave my door open most of the time, (just nobody drops in) and things are also a little tough since we have a 3 person room that is really crowded, so its not really the best hangout spot.

Three people is fine. No one cares about a crowded room. Shesh, we once had the entire floor in my room, damn that was crowded.

I dont have a new gaming system or nothing (my newest system is an N64) and we dont have a VCR or DVD player in our room, (although we do have a good sized TV

N64 is awesome. All you need is Mario Kart 64. We had crazy tournments happening on my floor, all about MK64. Yoshi is the best, BTW. And, I'm not sure how your RA would like it, but one of my floormates would always watch pron with his door open. People would just walk in and sit down and watch. It was cool and funny, them adding the commentary to the pron. Our RA was cool about it to, he sometimes joined in.

Other complications include the fact that I am not really into watching sports or playing sports games for ps2 (like most ppl are here). Also it doesnt help that i dont have that many hobbies. I like to play computer games (Ironically not many other ppl here like to, and the few that do arent the type i'd like to hang around)

JOIN CLUBS. Nuth said.

I like to workout, but I feel gay asking ppl if they wanna workout with me, like i dont know how to word that, and playing ping pong is something else i like doing right now too.

Sheesh, are you gay? Just go up to them and be like, "Yo, wassup. Do you guys workout? Like lifting and stuff? Yeah? When do you guys go? Yeah, I was thinking about going soon too. Do you guys wanna go together, so we can spot each other? Cool then, I'll get you later." See, not so hard and not so gay. Just don't be grabbing your crotch while saying that.

thats about it for hobbies. then i also spend a lot of time analyzing over things in solitude and crap like which probably doesnt bode to well either.

Sheesh, depression. Go ask one of your buddies to drag you out to something, and tell him to make sure you don't leave till the end. That should get you socialized.

I guess I am just trying to look for ideas on how I can make this year fun,

Do i need to look beyond my floor to find 'my group'? like in classes, clubs, etc. do groups hold together very well when the ppl in them dont live in the same place?

Classes are the best places to meet people besides the floor, you can form HW groups which leads to friendship etc etc.. Clubs would be second since you aren't the social type. Groups hold as long as you have legs to walk with.

any ideas would be wonderful, ppl. im just trying to make the most out of this.

Guys should be easy to meet. Girls are a challenge, if you like them. Otherwise, they are just like guys. One final thing, be prepared to deal with rejection. People don't like everyone they meet. Don't get all weepy and sh!t if the guys don't really like you. Just brush it off, at least you tried. Better the .00004% chance than 0. You still have a long time to go and plenty of people to meet.

Yeah, so that is my advice for now. You <me points to you> go have fun NOW!

Edit --------------------------------------
2000!

 

[udonoogen]

order pizza and share it with your hallmates.

or maybe you should just study ... i wish i did freshman year.