Just got this in a junk email box. Some people are really sick.
SARS: A FRIEND OF PLANET EARTH
All of us alive at the current time know how much humanity has failed.
We have polluted our planet and covered it with concrete. We can't get
along and keep threatening to nuke each other. We work all day in
cramped offices while passing on sentiments about how nice it must be
outside. In short, we're a bunch of hypocrites, liars, scumbags and
parasites.
Luckily, nature has some solutions.
The first is something called SARS, or Severe Acute Respiratory
Syndrome. SARS strikes mainly the elderly and weakened, but also has a
good track record for killing those in general ill-health or those who
can't figure out basic care in times of illness. This not only has the
immediate benefit of killing off those who make humanity as a whole
weaker, but also removes some of the largest resource consumers such
as fat people, lazy people, and stupid people, not to mention inactive
elderly who are living on past their natural lifespans thanks to
modern technology.
Take a look at these statistics, showing SARS creeping upon us:
April 1: SARS has affected almost 1,900 people in at least 15
countries, and 63 have died.
April 5: As of Saturday, 2,416 cases and 89 deaths attributed to
severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, have been reported from 18
countries, the World Health Organization said.
April 8: The death toll from the mystery SARS virus continues to mount
with health authorities now reporting 101 fatalities from 2,749 cases.
April 9: SARS has infected at least 928 people in Hong Kong, killing
25, out of a total of more than 2,600 cases worldwide that have
claimed at least 104 deaths.
April 15: The mystery illness, which appears to have originated in
China late last year, has spread to 21 countries, infecting 3,169
people and killing 144, according to the World Health Organization.
April 17: Wednesday, the World Health Organization said SARS has
claimed 159 lives with 3,293 reported cases in 24 countries and
territories.
April 21: The number of cases reported worldwide is 3,861, and 217
people in 25 countries have died.
April 23: Globally, the flulike virus has killed 229 people in 27
countries, with 3,947 probable cases, according to the WHO.
April 24: There are now more than 4,300 SARS cases around the world,
with around 258 deaths.
This tiny organism, possibly a mutation of the common cold, went from
barely a blip to a serious world health problem in less than a month!
If that doesn't deserve some applause, nothing does. Although its
potential to eradicate all of humanity is still unrealized, with some
further mutations, it could get more virulent. Even if it doesn't, it
will at least help trim some of the excess of humanity.
I write this missive not merely to praise SARS, but to ask you, the
intelligent reader who has realized that humanity is off-course and
heading toward world destruction, to do what you can to help SARS
spread. If you take these simple steps, you should be able to help
this disease spread and wipe out hordes of idiots from the face of
planet earth.
1) Distract the WHO
Technically, you're supposed to report SARS cases to your local health
authorities. Most of these accept anonymous contributions via phone,
so call up and report an ex-girlfriend, co-worker, boss or
neighborhood cop. Since the disease spreads most profoundly through
feces, be sure to mention you saw the person defecating in a
river/stream/leaky sewage system!
Here's a list of state and local healthy departments:
http://www.cdc.gov/other.htm#states
You can also send a hysterical email to the WHO contact in the United
States, who will then forward it on to the WHO workers:
verano@un.org
This will take resources away from tracking down actual SARS cases,
and amplify the hysteria, which will cause stupid and fat people to
panic and do things more likely to spread the SARS virus. You can also
use the international reporting form:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/pdf/intcasereportform-sars.pdf
And for those who are really creative, you can submit a stool or
tissue sample using this form:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/pdf/specimensubmissionform-sars.pdf
Remember that every likely-looking notice you send in will distract 30
minutes from the fight against SARS, making SARS that much stronger,
and thus that much more likely to take care of the human problem.
2) Redirect raw sewage into population areas
This one requires more initiative, but it's deadly as far as the virus
is concerned. In a Hong Kong apartment building, one man with diarrhea
and leaky seals on bathroom plumbing infected over 100 people. Thus
when CDC or WHO personnel see raw sewage making its way into a
populated area, especially near food, it becomes traumatic. Further,
if anyone contributing to that sewage actually has SARS, you could
start a local epidemic and exterminate thousands.
In modern cities, different pipes are used for sewage and fresh water
(obviously). However, it is not uncommon for crossover to occur,
because if the fresh water pipe is at a low enough pressure or has a
break, sewage can get in. The best part about this is: it take sa tiny
amount of sewage to infest a huge amount of water. Go out to the back
of your house, or to the plumbing room at your apartment building, if
you can get it. Normally the fresh water pipe is the one with a large
valve on it, and the sewage pipe is the thing heading into the floor.
What you're looking for on the sewage pipe is a "cleanout," or
secondary opening through which one can augur or scrape out a clogged
line.
"The cleanout plug is mounted on the largest drain pipe near where it
exits the house. It may be in a basement or crawlspace, or in a
utility closet in slab construction. It may be in a vertical or
horizontal pipe. The cap has a square fitting at the top, which will
have to be removed by an open-ended wrench. Be prepared to mop up the
water which will escape when it is opened."
http://www.keidel.com/resource/diy/clogs.htm
If you get the cleanout open, you'll have access to a full supply of
raw sewage. Wearing your face mask, scoop some out and twist the valve
on the fresh water supply until you've sealed it offer. Then, open the
emergency access port (with a crescent wrench) and dump some in.
Unlock the valve and run like hell!
3) Convince people it's just the flu
Notice the similarities between these two:
"The onset of flu often seems sudden: people describe feeling 'like
I've been hit by a truck.' Common flu symptoms include sudden onset,
fever and chills, cough, muscle and joint pain, headache, fatigue and
weakness. Some people also get a stuffy nose and sore throat."
http://www.igotflu.com/know_flu.html
"SARS begins with a fever greater than 100.4°F [>38.0°C]. Other
symptoms may include headache, an overall feeling of discomfort, and
body aches. Some people also experience mild respiratory symptoms.
After 2 to 7 days, SARS patients may develop a dry cough and have
trouble breathing."
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/factsheet.htm
For all of its potential to kill, SARS onset is similar to having a
flu with a high fever. Remember that your job here is to insure the
weak and stupid die, and compose the following email to be sent out at
work, church, community centers and through AOL, or simply printed out
and put up in poster form at grocery stores, health centers, gyms and
religious centers:
"Official Notice: Over-reporting of False SARS Cases
[Insert City Name] Health Department
(123) 555-1212 [use a phone number that's often busy, like a customer
service line]
It has come to our attention that a large number of people are
concerned about Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, in this
community. While we are thankful for awareness about this disease and
its consequences, we have to ask that you refrain from reporting
unless you are sure that you have SARS. Symptoms commonly mistaken for
SARS are:
- Fever and chills
- Cough and muscle fatigue
- Headache and body ache
- Dry cough
If you have these symptoms, but have not recently been to mainland
China or Hong Kong, please wait 7 days before reporting.
Thank you.
Arianna Jefferson
[Insert City Name] Health Department"
Not only does this help paralyze victims in case of an outbreak, but
it generates more confused, panicked and paranoid traffic between
parts of the human machine trying to plan for outbreak. Good work,
you're thrusting the potential death toll upward!
Despite history, sometimes humans can work together and achieve great
things. If there were only a half-billion humans on planet earth, and
these were not of the idiot variety, don't you think things would be
better for all of us? Help SARS and help planet earth - let's trim the
human fat and leave only the strong standing.
(c) www.corrupt.org april 23, 2003
Useful sites:
http://www.corrupt.org/
http://www.who.int/csr/sars/en/
http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/
http://www.vhemt.org/
SARS: A FRIEND OF PLANET EARTH
All of us alive at the current time know how much humanity has failed.
We have polluted our planet and covered it with concrete. We can't get
along and keep threatening to nuke each other. We work all day in
cramped offices while passing on sentiments about how nice it must be
outside. In short, we're a bunch of hypocrites, liars, scumbags and
parasites.
Luckily, nature has some solutions.
The first is something called SARS, or Severe Acute Respiratory
Syndrome. SARS strikes mainly the elderly and weakened, but also has a
good track record for killing those in general ill-health or those who
can't figure out basic care in times of illness. This not only has the
immediate benefit of killing off those who make humanity as a whole
weaker, but also removes some of the largest resource consumers such
as fat people, lazy people, and stupid people, not to mention inactive
elderly who are living on past their natural lifespans thanks to
modern technology.
Take a look at these statistics, showing SARS creeping upon us:
April 1: SARS has affected almost 1,900 people in at least 15
countries, and 63 have died.
April 5: As of Saturday, 2,416 cases and 89 deaths attributed to
severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, have been reported from 18
countries, the World Health Organization said.
April 8: The death toll from the mystery SARS virus continues to mount
with health authorities now reporting 101 fatalities from 2,749 cases.
April 9: SARS has infected at least 928 people in Hong Kong, killing
25, out of a total of more than 2,600 cases worldwide that have
claimed at least 104 deaths.
April 15: The mystery illness, which appears to have originated in
China late last year, has spread to 21 countries, infecting 3,169
people and killing 144, according to the World Health Organization.
April 17: Wednesday, the World Health Organization said SARS has
claimed 159 lives with 3,293 reported cases in 24 countries and
territories.
April 21: The number of cases reported worldwide is 3,861, and 217
people in 25 countries have died.
April 23: Globally, the flulike virus has killed 229 people in 27
countries, with 3,947 probable cases, according to the WHO.
April 24: There are now more than 4,300 SARS cases around the world,
with around 258 deaths.
This tiny organism, possibly a mutation of the common cold, went from
barely a blip to a serious world health problem in less than a month!
If that doesn't deserve some applause, nothing does. Although its
potential to eradicate all of humanity is still unrealized, with some
further mutations, it could get more virulent. Even if it doesn't, it
will at least help trim some of the excess of humanity.
I write this missive not merely to praise SARS, but to ask you, the
intelligent reader who has realized that humanity is off-course and
heading toward world destruction, to do what you can to help SARS
spread. If you take these simple steps, you should be able to help
this disease spread and wipe out hordes of idiots from the face of
planet earth.
1) Distract the WHO
Technically, you're supposed to report SARS cases to your local health
authorities. Most of these accept anonymous contributions via phone,
so call up and report an ex-girlfriend, co-worker, boss or
neighborhood cop. Since the disease spreads most profoundly through
feces, be sure to mention you saw the person defecating in a
river/stream/leaky sewage system!
Here's a list of state and local healthy departments:
http://www.cdc.gov/other.htm#states
You can also send a hysterical email to the WHO contact in the United
States, who will then forward it on to the WHO workers:
verano@un.org
This will take resources away from tracking down actual SARS cases,
and amplify the hysteria, which will cause stupid and fat people to
panic and do things more likely to spread the SARS virus. You can also
use the international reporting form:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/pdf/intcasereportform-sars.pdf
And for those who are really creative, you can submit a stool or
tissue sample using this form:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/pdf/specimensubmissionform-sars.pdf
Remember that every likely-looking notice you send in will distract 30
minutes from the fight against SARS, making SARS that much stronger,
and thus that much more likely to take care of the human problem.
2) Redirect raw sewage into population areas
This one requires more initiative, but it's deadly as far as the virus
is concerned. In a Hong Kong apartment building, one man with diarrhea
and leaky seals on bathroom plumbing infected over 100 people. Thus
when CDC or WHO personnel see raw sewage making its way into a
populated area, especially near food, it becomes traumatic. Further,
if anyone contributing to that sewage actually has SARS, you could
start a local epidemic and exterminate thousands.
In modern cities, different pipes are used for sewage and fresh water
(obviously). However, it is not uncommon for crossover to occur,
because if the fresh water pipe is at a low enough pressure or has a
break, sewage can get in. The best part about this is: it take sa tiny
amount of sewage to infest a huge amount of water. Go out to the back
of your house, or to the plumbing room at your apartment building, if
you can get it. Normally the fresh water pipe is the one with a large
valve on it, and the sewage pipe is the thing heading into the floor.
What you're looking for on the sewage pipe is a "cleanout," or
secondary opening through which one can augur or scrape out a clogged
line.
"The cleanout plug is mounted on the largest drain pipe near where it
exits the house. It may be in a basement or crawlspace, or in a
utility closet in slab construction. It may be in a vertical or
horizontal pipe. The cap has a square fitting at the top, which will
have to be removed by an open-ended wrench. Be prepared to mop up the
water which will escape when it is opened."
http://www.keidel.com/resource/diy/clogs.htm
If you get the cleanout open, you'll have access to a full supply of
raw sewage. Wearing your face mask, scoop some out and twist the valve
on the fresh water supply until you've sealed it offer. Then, open the
emergency access port (with a crescent wrench) and dump some in.
Unlock the valve and run like hell!
3) Convince people it's just the flu
Notice the similarities between these two:
"The onset of flu often seems sudden: people describe feeling 'like
I've been hit by a truck.' Common flu symptoms include sudden onset,
fever and chills, cough, muscle and joint pain, headache, fatigue and
weakness. Some people also get a stuffy nose and sore throat."
http://www.igotflu.com/know_flu.html
"SARS begins with a fever greater than 100.4°F [>38.0°C]. Other
symptoms may include headache, an overall feeling of discomfort, and
body aches. Some people also experience mild respiratory symptoms.
After 2 to 7 days, SARS patients may develop a dry cough and have
trouble breathing."
http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/sars/factsheet.htm
For all of its potential to kill, SARS onset is similar to having a
flu with a high fever. Remember that your job here is to insure the
weak and stupid die, and compose the following email to be sent out at
work, church, community centers and through AOL, or simply printed out
and put up in poster form at grocery stores, health centers, gyms and
religious centers:
"Official Notice: Over-reporting of False SARS Cases
[Insert City Name] Health Department
(123) 555-1212 [use a phone number that's often busy, like a customer
service line]
It has come to our attention that a large number of people are
concerned about Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, in this
community. While we are thankful for awareness about this disease and
its consequences, we have to ask that you refrain from reporting
unless you are sure that you have SARS. Symptoms commonly mistaken for
SARS are:
- Fever and chills
- Cough and muscle fatigue
- Headache and body ache
- Dry cough
If you have these symptoms, but have not recently been to mainland
China or Hong Kong, please wait 7 days before reporting.
Thank you.
Arianna Jefferson
[Insert City Name] Health Department"
Not only does this help paralyze victims in case of an outbreak, but
it generates more confused, panicked and paranoid traffic between
parts of the human machine trying to plan for outbreak. Good work,
you're thrusting the potential death toll upward!
Despite history, sometimes humans can work together and achieve great
things. If there were only a half-billion humans on planet earth, and
these were not of the idiot variety, don't you think things would be
better for all of us? Help SARS and help planet earth - let's trim the
human fat and leave only the strong standing.
(c) www.corrupt.org april 23, 2003
Useful sites:
http://www.corrupt.org/
http://www.who.int/csr/sars/en/
http://www.churchofeuthanasia.org/
http://www.vhemt.org/
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