So, I was at work, and this one girl that I work with (I SWEAR she's out to get me) starts in with me, and I hadn't even got in the door yet! She's all "oh, you look nice today" and "wow, are those new shoes" and all sorts of other stuff. She IS SO TRANSPARENT.
The thing is, all men are scum, you know? Especially my husband. God I hate that bastard. Anyway, back to my story....
So, we're having lunch in the break room, and she notices that I brought a salad from home. I had forgotten to bring any dressing and I say "DAMN! I FORGOT TO BRING DRESSING!" and she says "Hey, there's a whole bottle of Italian in the mini-fridge. Let me get it for you!" So, I KNOW what she means by that...bringing me the Italian dressing! The funny thing is, even though she's racies (might as well have called me a Wop) she should know that I'm not even Italian! So she brings me the dressing and leaves. I swear she needs to get fired.
So I come home, and I find that my jerkoff husband is just sitting there, watching football! And I asked him to do something nice for me (through my special "once a month" mental telepathy) and he DIDN'T EVEN DO IT! I swear it'd serve him right if I went and slept with his brother.
This is all someone else's fault.
Eve was framed.
I'm not going to shave anymore*
*Until I realize you're leaving and I find myself entirely single and totally undesirable and alone and miserable.
Edit: Which is better?
Dr. Slice
Dr. Pepper
Cherry Coke
Cherry Pepsi
Cherry 7up
The thing is, all men are scum, you know? Especially my husband. God I hate that bastard. Anyway, back to my story....
So, we're having lunch in the break room, and she notices that I brought a salad from home. I had forgotten to bring any dressing and I say "DAMN! I FORGOT TO BRING DRESSING!" and she says "Hey, there's a whole bottle of Italian in the mini-fridge. Let me get it for you!" So, I KNOW what she means by that...bringing me the Italian dressing! The funny thing is, even though she's racies (might as well have called me a Wop) she should know that I'm not even Italian! So she brings me the dressing and leaves. I swear she needs to get fired.
So I come home, and I find that my jerkoff husband is just sitting there, watching football! And I asked him to do something nice for me (through my special "once a month" mental telepathy) and he DIDN'T EVEN DO IT! I swear it'd serve him right if I went and slept with his brother.
This is all someone else's fault.
Eve was framed.
I'm not going to shave anymore*
*Until I realize you're leaving and I find myself entirely single and totally undesirable and alone and miserable.
Edit: Which is better?
Dr. Slice
Dr. Pepper
Cherry Coke
Cherry Pepsi
Cherry 7up
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