Maybe I'm being an ass about this, but this irks the hell out of me

[Corporate Thug]

Originally posted by: cessna152

Originally posted by: TheNinja
Parents are actually ruining the schools now. I know many teachers and they say the hardest part is not teaching the kids, it's dealing with the dumbass parents. Every parent thinks their kid is either too smart, too dumb, too special, too tall, too talented.

This just looks like a way for the moms who never spend time with their kids, to take off a half hour break between watching Dr.Phil and Oprah and going to their yoga class to makes themselves feel like they are doing a good job as a parent.

Same thing at this school. Parents run the place. God forbid you try to give their child a demerit. There are a constant 5~10 parents who mill around the schoolyard ALL day. Waiting for their kid to get out. They wander around the school. Eat lunch with their kids. SIT IN the class that their child is in and observe.

The school currently is fighting two lawsuits.
1. Child didn't get onto the baseball team
2. Unjustified detention for threatening a teacher with what looked like mace

Mind you, this is a K-8 Parochial Catholic School.

The teachers are more afraid of getting sued by the parents for giving the kid a C or a detention. Whats worse is that the school doesn't even backup the teachers. There are some kids you just don't touch because the backlash from the parents would be insane.

ok, sitting IN the classroom and "observing" is going way to far.

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: Madwand1

Originally posted by: NFS4
It's not a matter about telling them what to do, it's a matter of should parents be allowed to disrupt a child's school time for their own benefit?

This is your opinion, not mine, and it's also self-contradictory. You say that you don't want parents to be allowed to do this, yet you say that you're not telling parents what to do. Clearly you have a strong opinion on how parents should raise their kids. Most parents would tell you in such cases to give the parents the benefit of the doubt, and let them do as they see fit in their case. Voicing opinions, giving them to parents even, as such, is fine, but be prepared to take a "mind your own business and raise your own kids" as a fair response in this case.

Originally posted by: NFS4
I just wanted opinions on what others think about the idea. If you don't like people asking questions or posting opinions, then what is OT for?

You got my opinion on the subject. You're quite welcome btw.

Point taken. I appreciate your response.

 

[FoBoT]

i have eaten lunch with my kid(s) a few times, the only option is to sit with the whole class

i still don't see the big deal either way

if it is every single day of the year, then yeah, that is weird, but there are plenty of weird people, some are bound to have kids and so they end up being weird parents


<shrugs>

off i go to watch Weird Al videos

 

[ITJunkie]

I don't think you're "off your rocker" at all.
Speaking as a parent, I find waaay too many parents today micro-managing every aspect of their kids lives. Being involved is great but fvcking taking over their kids lives is just wrong. What's even worse, IMO, is that these same parents make people like my wife and I feel like "less of a parent" because we don't do the same thing. FVCK 'EM!
Kids have to learn coping skills and they can't do that with parents getting in the way.
Seriously, if that sh1t went on when I was in school it was a guaranteed a$$-whooping by the other kids.

/rant...sorry

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: NFS4
I was just talking with my GF who is student teaching 1st grade in a pretty upscale neighborhood in Charlotte, NC. She was telling me about her day (and her many complaints about the way things are run there), but one thing that she said just made me go "What "*#&@?"

She said that "**name deleted** was in the cafe eating with her mom during lunch." Of course, I'm like "Cafe...cafe???" She said yeah, parents come in on a regular basis and take their kids away from their class who normally eats lunch in the cafeteria and take them to have "alone time" in the school cafe. Again, I'm trying to comprehend this b/c this is the first that I've heard of something like this.

She said that it's mostly stay at home soccer moms that come in and take their kids aside during lunch...and they have this whole seperate area for them. HELLO, school time isn't parent time during the day last time I checked...especially on a regular basis. Taking your kid away from the rest of the class??? What about the parents that can't afford to take off from work and come in and have lunch with their kids? How are those kids supposed to feel?

Now I can understand parents coming in during reccess and bringing a cake or cupcakes if their kid has a birthday. I mean, in that case the whole class gets to partake. But for parents to come in and have their own "alone time" with their kids on school grounds during school hours is just beyond belief for me. Well, it's at least something that never happened at my elementary school.

Maybe I'm off my rocker, and my GF seemed a bit surprised that I took that stance, but still...

What do you think?

ahh.. entitlement and superiority complex starts young.

"my mom cares more about me than your mom does about you. Your mom doesnt visit you."

 

[jlee]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
how is lunch part of the "class environment"?

sounds too much like "brain washing" time or something. the kids don't "belong" to the school or teacher

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[Trikat]

Hmmm. Tough issue. I would say let them do what they want with their kids since it isn't anything very bad.
What would be cool is if the parents ate with their kids and actually ate at the same table as that guy's/girl's friends.

 

[TheNinja]

Originally posted by: cessna152

Originally posted by: TheNinja
Parents are actually ruining the schools now. I know many teachers and they say the hardest part is not teaching the kids, it's dealing with the dumbass parents. Every parent thinks their kid is either too smart, too dumb, too special, too tall, too talented.

This just looks like a way for the moms who never spend time with their kids, to take off a half hour break between watching Dr.Phil and Oprah and going to their yoga class to makes themselves feel like they are doing a good job as a parent.

Same thing at this school. Parents run the place. God forbid you try to give their child a demerit. There are a constant 5~10 parents who mill around the schoolyard ALL day. Waiting for their kid to get out. They wander around the school. Eat lunch with their kids. SIT IN the class that their child is in and observe.

The school currently is fighting two lawsuits.
1. Child didn't get onto the baseball team
2. Unjustified detention for threatening a teacher with what looked like mace

Mind you, this is a K-8 Parochial Catholic School.

The teachers are more afraid of getting sued by the parents for giving the kid a C or a detention. Whats worse is that the school doesn't even backup the teachers. There are some kids you just don't touch because the backlash from the parents would be insane.

Exactly. It's either the richy rich mother who doesn't have a job and is so bored that she has nothing better to do than wander around the school and be an old hag. Or it's the parents who don't spend any time with their kids during the evening b/c they are too busy going out or watching Survivor so they try to make up for it by being at school. I have little hope for some kids and sadly it is not their fault.

 

[Thraxen]

So what? I've seen parents come and take their kids out of the school for lunch. What's the big deal? It's just lunch.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: cessna152

Originally posted by: TheNinja
Parents are actually ruining the schools now. I know many teachers and they say the hardest part is not teaching the kids, it's dealing with the dumbass parents. Every parent thinks their kid is either too smart, too dumb, too special, too tall, too talented.

This just looks like a way for the moms who never spend time with their kids, to take off a half hour break between watching Dr.Phil and Oprah and going to their yoga class to makes themselves feel like they are doing a good job as a parent.

Same thing at this school. Parents run the place. God forbid you try to give their child a demerit. There are a constant 5~10 parents who mill around the schoolyard ALL day. Waiting for their kid to get out. They wander around the school. Eat lunch with their kids. SIT IN the class that their child is in and observe.

The school currently is fighting two lawsuits.
1. Child didn't get onto the baseball team
2. Unjustified detention for threatening a teacher with what looked like mace

Mind you, this is a K-8 Parochial Catholic School.

The teachers are more afraid of getting sued by the parents for giving the kid a C or a detention. Whats worse is that the school doesn't even backup the teachers. There are some kids you just don't touch because the backlash from the parents would be insane.

yeap my wife worked in the school system for a few years. she quit because pay sucked and putting up with parents and school admin was way to much.

they spend a lot of time teaching the standardized test. then you have parents who come in and complain about the students grades. they would rather bitch out the teacher then yell at the child for fear of hurting his feeling etc.

i feel for teachers today.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: NFS4

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
About 2-4 times per year, my wife and/or I will go eat lunch in the cafeteria with our kids. We eat at their regular cafeteria time, and with their class.

I usually try to out-gross the 10-year-old boys who sit next to my daughter, then I subtly remind them all that I could break them like twigs and bury them where their bodies would never be found again - and would continually to be able to do so for the next 10 years or so.

You see to me, that's totally different. You have a parent coming in an spending time with the entire class.

You're not taking them away from the class environment, you're becoming a part of it.

Yeah that doesn't seem so bad. I just don't see the point of going to the kid's school to sit and eat with them alone. You can be alone with your kid any time you want, why take him away from his friends in school?

 

[Alienwho]

Wow. My mom or dad checked me out for lunch on my birthdays, and that's it. That was always a treat.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Alienwho
Wow. My mom or dad checked me out for lunch on my birthdays, and that's it. That was always a treat.

heh yeah my parents would do that every now and then. though my dad would also allow me to skip school to go hunting, fishing if my grades were good.

 

[altonb1]

Originally posted by: waggy
now that is fvcked up.

Welcome back, Waggy!

My kids' school district has designated days--once a month, maybe?--where parents are invited to come to the school and eat lunch with the kids. I work an hour away, so I've never done it and my wife has the 2 young ones that aren't in school yet, so she also has not participated. However, I think a scheduled FORMAL activity like this is okay for a change of pace. I think having parents show up w/o warning is just a distraction, though.

 

[NFS4]

Originally posted by: mugs

Originally posted by: NFS4

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
About 2-4 times per year, my wife and/or I will go eat lunch in the cafeteria with our kids. We eat at their regular cafeteria time, and with their class.

I usually try to out-gross the 10-year-old boys who sit next to my daughter, then I subtly remind them all that I could break them like twigs and bury them where their bodies would never be found again - and would continually to be able to do so for the next 10 years or so.

You see to me, that's totally different. You have a parent coming in an spending time with the entire class.

You're not taking them away from the class environment, you're becoming a part of it.

Yeah that doesn't seem so bad. I just don't see the point of going to the kid's school to sit and eat with them alone. You can be alone with your kid any time you want, why take him away from his friends in school?

Exactly!

And granted, I'm not against parent involvement. Not by any means. When I was in elementary school, my dad helped out in the classroom. He worked his job from 4PM - 12AM so he would come in a few times a week during school time to help the teacher out with school work, grading papers, making copies, etc. (looking back now, I don't see how he was able to manage all of that). The schools were seriously underfunded and they asked parents for help. He was also a VP of the PTA.

But he always made it a point when he was in class to treat me like one of the other students and didn't give me any favoritism. While he was helping out at class, I was just another warm body in the seat. That may be seem kinda cold to some people, but I think it was for the best.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: altonb1

Originally posted by: waggy
now that is fvcked up.

Welcome back, Waggy!

.

:beer:

 

[Armitage]

Meh - in moderation I guess I don't see to much of a problem with it. Maybe once or twice a month so its something special rather then the norm.

My ex was doing this for awhile with my daughter when they were having "bonding issues"
"bonding issues" = my daughter (6 at the time) didn't want to have anything to do with her.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: TheNinja

Originally posted by: cessna152

Originally posted by: TheNinja
Parents are actually ruining the schools now. I know many teachers and they say the hardest part is not teaching the kids, it's dealing with the dumbass parents. Every parent thinks their kid is either too smart, too dumb, too special, too tall, too talented.

This just looks like a way for the moms who never spend time with their kids, to take off a half hour break between watching Dr.Phil and Oprah and going to their yoga class to makes themselves feel like they are doing a good job as a parent.

Same thing at this school. Parents run the place. God forbid you try to give their child a demerit. There are a constant 5~10 parents who mill around the schoolyard ALL day. Waiting for their kid to get out. They wander around the school. Eat lunch with their kids. SIT IN the class that their child is in and observe.

The school currently is fighting two lawsuits.
1. Child didn't get onto the baseball team
2. Unjustified detention for threatening a teacher with what looked like mace

Mind you, this is a K-8 Parochial Catholic School.

The teachers are more afraid of getting sued by the parents for giving the kid a C or a detention. Whats worse is that the school doesn't even backup the teachers. There are some kids you just don't touch because the backlash from the parents would be insane.

Exactly. It's either the richy rich mother who doesn't have a job and is so bored that she has nothing better to do than wander around the school and be an old hag. Or it's the parents who don't spend any time with their kids during the evening b/c they are too busy going out or watching Survivor so they try to make up for it by being at school. I have little hope for some kids and sadly it is not their fault.

We can all throw out silly generalizations and point to extreme cases to try to make an extreme point, or... perhaps, we could try to take a rational look at the whole thing.

Oh, wait, this is an internet site... nevermind being rational.

Not making a K-8 baseball team? On one hand, kids need to learn they're not automatically entitled to a spot on the team without effort. On the other, if they're out there, busting their ass they need a spot on the team, even if they still suck. FFS, we're talking about 10-year old kids here... they need to learn the value of hard work, etc. The game at that age should NOT be about winning.

There are cases where TEACHERS need discipline. There are cases where KIDS need discipline. Those cases are sometimes difficult to see which is which...

There are parents going overboard in both directions - yes, kids need to learn independence, but they also need to know they're loved and have a support system in their family. Some kids need more attention than others.

I see sitting in and observing your kid's classroom once or twice to be responsible parenting, especially when the kids are young. My kid is my responsibility - I don't just forget about what's happening during her day after I drop her off at daycare, and I won't once she's in school. After that, either let the teacher do their job or if you disagree with something that's going on, take it up with the teacher/his boss outside the classroom.

So a 'richy rich' mom doesn't have a job and is taking an interest in her kid's development? GOOD for her. I'm not a "woman's place is in the kitchen" kind of guy, but I'm unhappy that American society today pretty much demands two salaries to keep up the lifestyle that 40 years ago was carried by one. I don't believe it's good for the family structure.

I'd go on, but it's 5:30 and I've gotta go get my kid from daycare, talk to her teachers, find out what she did today, and go eat dinner with her.

 

[kingtas]

If it doesn't directly affect you, so freaking what. I'm so sick of people getting offended by what other people do. This is America and you have the God given right not to like it and move on.

And as far as the other kids who have parents that don't do it it for whatever reason, well they should learn that life is not fair. Some have, some have not. That's reality.

 

[Pacfanweb]

I think it's cool. I plan to do it occasionally when my kids start school.

 

[NFS4]

Interesting that it's split right down the middle. I was expecting for it to be a landslide one way or the other.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: NFS4
Interesting that it's split right down the middle. I was expecting for it to be a landslide one way or the other.

It'd be interesting to see of those that voted, which ones have kids.

 

[Goosemaster]

Nothing wrong with it except that perhaps, maybe, the kids will not have the same amount of time to develop social skills comapred with the 'abandoned' children

 

[SearchMaster]

I've done it a few times with my oldest (now second grader). A kid whose parent comes in to sit with them, at least in kindergarten and first grade, is a freaking rock star. "Sean, Sean, you and your daddy sit with me! No, me! My turn!" And while I sat with his whole class, I would have done it by ourselves independently as well - seems like it would be more special time that way. It's not always a matter of trying to overcompensate for not spending enough time with them, believe me I am more involved in my kids' lives than about any other father I know.

Every day would be overkill but as a special activity, big thumbs up. It really makes the kids' day.

 

[HomeAppraiser]

OK back it up to the OP. What is this school "Cafe" you mentioned. Is it like a StarBucks? Can I get a latte, biscotti, or turkey and swiss on rye? Or is it just the teachers lounge?