Math jokes.

Kyteland

Diamond Member
Dec 30, 2002
5,747
1
81
For all of you mathematically minded folks

A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician were sitting in a street cafe watching the crowd. Across the street they saw a man and a woman entering a building. Ten minutes they reappeared together with a third person.
- They have multiplied, said the biologist.
- Oh no, an error in measurement, the physicist sighed.
- If exactly one person enters the building now, it will be empty again, the mathematician concluded.
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
A mathematician, an engineer, and a chemist were walking down the road when they saw a pile of cans of beer. Unfortunately, they were the old-fashioned cans that do not have the tab at the top. One of them proposed that they split up and find can openers. The chemist went to his lab and concocted a magical chemical that dissolves the can top in an instant and evaporates the next instant so that the beer inside is not affected. The engineer went to his workshop and created a new HyperOpener that can open 25 cans per second.

They went back to the pile with their inventions and found the mathematician finishing the last can of beer. "How did you manage that?" they asked in astonishment. The mathematician answered, "Oh, well, I assumed they were open and went from there."
A math professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
More here
 

Haircut

Platinum Member
Apr 23, 2000
2,248
0
0
Q. What do you get when you cross a turtle and a rabbit?












A. |Turtle||Rabbit| sin x
:D
 

Nitemare

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
35,466
3
76
2 mathematicians walk into a bar and they are in a heated discussion about how much the average layman knows about mathematics.

One of them goes to the head.

The one at the bar orders them drinks and tells the bartender I'm going to ask you something when my friend comes out and whatever I ask you, say x^4

The mathematician returns from the john and the one at the bar makes him a bet.
"I bet you 20 dollars I can pick someone from this bar who can integrate"

He asks the bartender, What is the integral of 4x^3?

"That's an easy one", says the bartender x^4

The one mathematician goes ha ha at showing off to his friend

Then the bartender goes "plus C" :D
 

Kaieye

Platinum Member
Oct 9, 1999
2,275
0
0
For you old folks that remember...


Q: What goes into 16 twice??

A: Roman Polanski
 

Qacer

Platinum Member
Apr 5, 2001
2,722
1
86

Hey Baby, wanna do some math?

Add a bed.
Subtract your clothes.
Divide your legs.
And let's multiply!
 

NogginBoink

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2002
5,322
0
0
Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 mathematicians walk into a bar and they are in a heated discussion about how much the average layman knows about mathematics.

One of them goes to the head.

The one at the bar orders them drinks and tells the bartender I'm going to ask you something when my friend comes out and whatever I ask you, say x^4

The mathematician returns from the john and the one at the bar makes him a bet.
"I bet you 20 dollars I can pick someone from this bar who can integrate"

He asks the bartender, What is the integral of 4x^3?

"That's an easy one", says the bartender x^4

The one mathematician goes ha ha at showing off to his friend

Then the bartender goes "plus C" :D

I don't get it. :S
 

her209

No Lifer
Oct 11, 2000
56,352
11
0
Originally posted by: NogginBoink
Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 mathematicians walk into a bar and they are in a heated discussion about how much the average layman knows about mathematics.

One of them goes to the head.

The one at the bar orders them drinks and tells the bartender I'm going to ask you something when my friend comes out and whatever I ask you, say x^4

The mathematician returns from the john and the one at the bar makes him a bet.
"I bet you 20 dollars I can pick someone from this bar who can integrate"

He asks the bartender, What is the integral of 4x^3?

"That's an easy one", says the bartender x^4

The one mathematician goes ha ha at showing off to his friend

Then the bartender goes "plus C" :D
I don't get it. :S
Integral of 4x^3 = x^4 + C ;)
 

NogginBoink

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2002
5,322
0
0
Originally posted by: her209
Originally posted by: NogginBoink
Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 mathematicians walk into a bar and they are in a heated discussion about how much the average layman knows about mathematics.

One of them goes to the head.

The one at the bar orders them drinks and tells the bartender I'm going to ask you something when my friend comes out and whatever I ask you, say x^4

The mathematician returns from the john and the one at the bar makes him a bet.
"I bet you 20 dollars I can pick someone from this bar who can integrate"

He asks the bartender, What is the integral of 4x^3?

"That's an easy one", says the bartender x^4

The one mathematician goes ha ha at showing off to his friend

Then the bartender goes "plus C" :D
I don't get it. :S
Integral of 4x^3 = x^4 + C ;)

...where C is any constant, including zero, right? I think this is coming back to me. AAauguuuggghhhhh.... brain strain!