married people: how did you know

[her34]

how did you end up deciding that the person you are with now, is the person you want to be with forever? if it was gradual process, what sorts of things lead up to you knowing? if there were some defining moments, what were they? or did it just feel right? how did you know?

and for remarried people, how did you know decide the second time around? i'd imagine there would be a lot of doubt considering you once thought you found the person for your life but it didn't work out

 

[radioouman]

Once you are married for a few years, it becomes difficult to live without that person.

It isn't how much you want to be with them, it is how hard it is to be without them.

 

[kranky]

I dated a lot before getting married. It eventually dawned on me that compatibility, shared interests, honesty, and a sense of humor outweighed just about everything else.

Most of my friends who have been divorced should never have married in the first place. While they would swear up and down they "knew she was the one", they didn't really think it through. Their relationships were too superficial. They would never really dig down into the serious issues that you must be compatible on in order to create a lasting marriage.

I guess what I'm saying is that while a lot of my friends have been divorced, it's their own fault. They just didn't approach it with enough commitment and seriousness.

 

[V00DOO]

You don't know that's why one in two marriages end in divorce.

 

[TourGuide]

I knew the moment I was overcome by lust.

 

[KB]

Originally posted by: radioouman
Once you are married for a few years, it becomes difficult to live without that person.

It isn't how much you want to be with them, it is how hard it is to be without them.

This is also true after several years dating. You just can't see yourself with someone else.
You have to be good friends, not just good lovers. You can spend time with them 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and want to spend even more.

 

[conjur]

Originally posted by: TourGuide
I knew the moment I was overcome by lust.

Latka: "I'm in love."
Louis: "You're not in love, Latka. You're in lust."

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: radioouman
Once you are married for a few years, it becomes difficult to live without that person.

It isn't how much you want to be with them, it is how hard it is to be without them.

I'm not married yet, but I can see what this guy is saying. I hope that I will marry the girl I'm currently dating.

There was one time recently (we've been dating like 3 years now, pretty serious relationship) where I was just completely helpless and could not talk to my GF for about 5 hours and I had no clue how she was doing or anything. It was such a terrible feeling and when I could finally talk to her I was just so relieved and i felt like crying because I was in that situation where I could not be with her and was completely helpless to her.

 

[PHiuR]

well after some TP and lotion... i realize righty was way better than lefty...so i picked righty.

 

[Gravity]

I decided incorrectly. I can't advise you, except to say that no matter who you pick, there is a chance that they are the wrong choice.

 

[TheNinja]

when you finally give up on the dating scene and realize that you probably won't find anyone else you could stand to be around you for an extended period of time, you just give up and decide to marry whoever you are currently dating.

 

[NorthRiver]

Originally posted by: radioouman
Once you are married for a few years, it becomes difficult to live without that person.

It isn't how much you want to be with them, it is how hard it is to be without them.

Exactly!! Bravo man, you hit the nail right on the head. I have been married for 10 years, and it's not that we are so in love, it's that we are so comfortable. After 10 years do you know how hard it would be to just up and leave. It would be like getting out of high school and looking for your first job all over again:disgust:

 

[Toasthead]

Theres a saying:

Dont marry someone you know you can live with...marry someone you know you cant live without.

 

[TheNinja]

Originally posted by: Toasthead
Theres a saying:

Dont marry someone you know you can live with...marry someone you know you cant live without.

hmmmm

 

[SouthPaW1227]

It was a feeling of MUTUALNESS mostly. We both wanted each other equally.

After about 2 years I also realized I physically felt bad/sad if I was away from her for too long.

Not married quite yet, but I will be

 

[HBalzer]

Originally posted by: V00DOO
You don't know that's why one in two marriages end in divorce.

This is because we have become a Nation with the mentality of if it?s broke throw it away and buy a new one. How many of you call a repair man if the T.V. is broke these days? If people would take the time to work on marriage instead of giving up less marriages would end that way.