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Married Folks....

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lola
  • Start date Start date
L

Lola

The Fiancee and I are having an arguement about getting gifts for certain people. i.e. Moms, Dads, etc.

Our situation is a bit different, my parents will be at the wedding, his will not. My grandmother and great aunts (who have basically raised me my whole life) will also be there.

He thinks its stupid to get them gifts as a thank you... that them being there is, in a way, a thank you enough. (we are getting married in Hawaii a week from tomorrow) I feel that its a nice gesture to thank those that are important to us with a small token of apperication.

I don't mean to make the man seem like a bad person as he is the farthest away from that, but i also want to know what others did/have done/are doing at their wedding.
 
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's how I always thought it was done. Everybody else is supposed to give gifts at a wedding.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
Click to expand...

Yep, bridesmaids and groomsmen were was the only people at our wedding who received gifts from us.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
Click to expand...

yeah, we got the gifts not gave the gifts
 
how can only THREE ppl be married?

j/k

If you want to give gifts... fine. Just a token gift would be appropriate, imho. nothing too expensive. just a little momento to let them know that you appreciate all they do.

🙂

 
we are getting married in Hawaii a week from tomorrow
Click to expand...

Unless you are well off, weddings tend to be stressful enough on your relationship and finances without introducing more complications.

He's probably just trying to mitigate the damages. You may want to consider giving them the gifts at a later date to signify their importance in your life rather than incorperating it into the wedding.
 
You'll always end up forgetting someone and making them feel bad. It's not necessary - seeing you get married should be good enough for them.
 
thanks for the replies. I now see both sides. I think a heartfelt thank you will work.
I was just going to get them small things like a frame with an old picture of them and myself in B&W or a hankercheif with a small poem on it, but i think right now, I will stick to thank you's. I just feel they are coming all this way and i want to make it as special as possible for everyone
 
Look.....it may be stupid....it may not......THAT DOESN'T MATTER. And the concensus of a bunch of Net Dweebs won't change it either way. What DOES matter is that you two figure out a way to compromise in situations like this which will arise constantly throughout your relationship.

Find out his problem with the idea and mitigate it. Done. If he is petty and unreasonable, then.....well......good luck.


/Thread
 
Originally posted by: Lola
I was just going to get them small things like a frame with an old picture of them and myself in B&W or a hankercheif with a small poem on it, but i think right now, I will stick to thank you's.
Click to expand...

Um...

I don't mean to make the man seem like a bad person as he is the farthest away from that
Click to expand...

You should get married in Egypt instead cause you're already in De Nile.
 
Originally posted by: Lola
The Fiancee and I are having an arguement about getting gifts for certain people. i.e. Moms, Dads, etc.

Our situation is a bit different, my parents will be at the wedding, his will not. My grandmother and great aunts (who have basically raised me my whole life) will also be there.

He thinks its stupid to get them gifts as a thank you... that them being there is, in a way, a thank you enough. (we are getting married in Hawaii a week from tomorrow) I feel that its a nice gesture to thank those that are important to us with a small token of apperication.

I don't mean to make the man seem like a bad person as he is the farthest away from that, but i also want to know what others did/have done/are doing at their wedding.
Click to expand...
Am I to understand that you're already paying to bring your family to Hawaii?
If that's the case, you're fiancee doesn't think it's stupid, he's more likely had about all he can take.
You have to remember that although you love these people dearly, he hardly knows them.


 
Originally posted by: KLin
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
Click to expand...

Same here. The fact that he's taking you off your parents' hands should be gift enough for them.

 
I traveled from Indiana to Florida for a friend's wedding, and I was given a goodie bag with some beach-type fun stuff (sun screen, etc). She did this for many of the out of town guests.

I received a groomsman gift for another wedding.

I haven't heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to parents/family just for attending.

R
 
Originally posted by: Lola
Question for you (yes, all three of you!)
Click to expand...
🙁

Originally posted by: Lola
thanks for the replies. I now see both sides. I think a heartfelt thank you will work.
I was just going to get them small things like a frame with an old picture of them and myself in B&W or a hankercheif with a small poem on it, but i think right now, I will stick to thank you's. I just feel they are coming all this way and i want to make it as special as possible for everyone
Click to expand...
They are coming all that way because they want to see you, not because they want to be appreciated. 🙂

It's your day, enjoy!

Congrats and good luck.
 
Originally posted by: KLin
I've heard of the bride and groom giving gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen, but not the parents.
Click to expand...

Ummm....yeah.

It's your wedding. You don't give gifts, you GET gifts.

Duh.
 
Originally posted by: Lola
The Fiancee and I are having an arguement about getting gifts for certain people. i.e. Moms, Dads, etc.

Our situation is a bit different, my parents will be at the wedding, his will not. My grandmother and great aunts (who have basically raised me my whole life) will also be there.

He thinks its stupid to get them gifts as a thank you... that them being there is, in a way, a thank you enough. (we are getting married in Hawaii a week from tomorrow) I feel that its a nice gesture to thank those that are important to us with a small token of apperication.

I don't mean to make the man seem like a bad person as he is the farthest away from that, but i also want to know what others did/have done/are doing at their wedding.
Click to expand...

Thank You notes are a good idea!





 
No, we are not paying for them to be there, but we are having a rather "extravagant" reception there. There will be about 20 of us and we are having a hawaiian band, and large dinner...
 
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